my wife and I have been married for 7 yrs have to kids d-9 & s-3 we have been together for 8 years. I adoptied my daughter on on our anniverasry 2 years ago. Up to that point we had had a good marriage. shortly after the adoption my wife and I began to grow apart, although I did not realize it untill now.

on 5/24/05 my world came crashing down on me, when my wife left me and our kids. She gave the usual excuse that she "loved me but was not in love w/ me" She swore that there was no one else, and that she just need time to work on herself. So she moved 30 miles away into a very questionable house and neighborhood.

I began working on my self by seeing a counselor and by reading everything I could find about marital problems. My best friend told me about MB and I started reading everthing I could find on this web site.

On 6/17/2005 I found a number on my wife cell bill that she was calling at all times of the day and night for long periods of time usually 30 to 40 minutes each and many times per day. I called the number and a man answered, when I told him who I was and asked why he was calling my mife so often he cursed and hung up. When I confronted my wife about the calls she got very angry and told me that it was none of my business who she talked to becasue we did not live together any more. She swore that the pereson was just a friend and that she had met him while taking care of his dad at a nursing home she works at. The next day the om calls me and tries to cover his but becasue I know him and he is married and twice my wife's age. I caught him in several lies during our conversation, of course he said that he was only trying to help me and my wife get back together. I told him if he was really interested in that that he would not take my wifes calls and would end all contact with my wife. K-( my wife ) says she has brokien off all contact w/ the om. I really dont believe her because she is still was to secretive and has removed her cell from my bill to prevent me from checking it agian.

we have had very little contact except when we are meeting to excahnge the kids for vistis with their mom. But yesterday she was fired from her job for failure to show up and a poor attitude. I am afraid she will want to move home now becasue she cannot afford to be on her own. I still love my wife and do want her back, but I want her back becasue she wants to be with me not becasue she cannot make it on her own. I really don't feel like she has made any effort to work on herself and that I am beter off without her right now. Any advice for you folks that have been through this sort of thing would help. I have tried negotiating w/ her but she will not talk unless it has to do with our kids. not sure where to go. thanks for taking the time to read this and respond if you have advise.


turp