Days have passed, some cold some hot, some non descript... yes, time has passed. Do I still wonder, worry whine... yes to all three.

We have been in a time of adjusting and readjusting. Finding new ways to communicate. I still have fears, and triggers. I wish I could say that I didn't. Just last night, a conversation turned to a man's infidelity, and the ramifications on the family. Oh, my heart sank, and I was sad deep within me. You see I have told no one where we live of this part of our past, just couldn't.

Life seems stable, normal, pleasant for the most part, I wish there was a way to erase the damage. I look at H, I love his smile, I long for the touch of his hand. Yet I must fight the invasive thoughts, remembrances of the lie the deception. I choose to forgive each day, and start fresh and fight off the haunting feelings.

I must say that there are even days that I forget, those are victories for me. The first year that was not true. This is a battle I am willing to fight, my hope to have it be as other hard times in my life, a memory without power and pain, simply a memory of the past.

I know that day will come,

HI anchorhugger,
Congrats on your 3 years of recovery...I pray that the pain you feel sometimes will go away someday... but in a way... holding a little of it is healthy... you will never take God's miracle in your Marriage for granted... God Bless you both... FRANK

Count your blessings dear - you are in recovery.

There's no better anchor than Him. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I hoping the same thing, that it all just becomes a distant memory with no pain.

{{{{{anchorhugger}}}}}}}

Blessings,
Lady