Welcome to MB, SS. I'm sorry that these events brought you here.

Your wife did the right thing in confessing her affair to you, and you both seem to be on the road to recovery. However, I would caution you (the betrayed spouse) that your wife might not be fully engaged in recovery yet.

From what you have written, she only confessed to you "after Christmas", so that was probably about 1 week ago. At this stage, it would be normal for your wife to be exhibiting signs of withdrawal and unhappiness at missing her affair partner.

You do not say that she is doing so. It might be that because the affair was short-lived (beginning only in December?), your wife had not developed addictive feelings and so withdrawing from the affair is relatively easy for her. However, speaking from my own experience with my WH, lack of withdrawal can sometimes meant that the affair partners are still in touch, so the affair has not ended. If it has not ended there is no reason for her to feel low. However, if it does not end with complete non-contact, your wife is giving and receiving love bank deposits from another man, not you, and I'm sure you do not want another party involved in your marriage. Emotional contact with another man is devastating, and physical contact will resume soon enough also.

Have you read all the free articles in the How To Survive Infidelity section of this site? You should do so, including the letters concerning unfaithful wives AND husbands. Dr Harley's advice is systematic and consistent, regardless of the particular details of the marriage and the affair.

You must read the article Four Rules to Guide Marital Recovery After an Affair and follow the guidelines. If your wife is already doing all the things Dr Harley recommends and is being honest with you, then you are off to a great start.

You did not ask a specific question. Do you have one?


BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.