We both are ready to move on and not talk about it anymore. It's to painful for the both of us to keep dwelling on the past.

SS32, if you do that, you will constantly be living with the elephant in the kitchen. Talking about these things is exactly what you must ultimately do. This "easy forgiveness" at this point so close to DDay will not serve your R well at all. Forgiveness comes at the culmination of recovery, not before. It is not a prerequicet(sp) to R. Keeping an open heart and doing the necessary steps to fall in love again is all that is required at this time. Forgiveness is the reward after years of hard work.

As far [censored] STD's are concerned, accept no one's word on this. Clinical testing is required. My Fww approached this topic with her OM and he swore up and down he was clean. Then I ended up with and HPV infection. My Fww now gets a pap smear every year with the notion of cervical cancer so prevalent.

I believe the two of you have the potential to recover your M, but do not side step the difficult steps in between. This is really hard work. Best wishes to the both of you.

All Blessings,