Originally Posted by mr_anderson
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
I think some folks are not aware of why this thread was begun and have lost all perspective. The OP's husband is going to an IC to delve into his "childhood traumas" before he works on his marriage.

With that comes for me anyway the baggage of anxiety, a pessimistic attitude and the rest I feel I can't even begin to articulate.

I will tell you one way those problems won't be resolved, and that is by "delving into your past." Examining your childhood does not solve pessimism or anxiety. The solution to your problems is in the present, not the past. Delving into the past does nothing for the present except keep you depressed, angry and triggered. I wasted years in counseling doing that very thing and it availed absolutely nothing.

What did work was focusing on changing my current behavior. By exchanging my pessimistic attitude with a positive one; learning appropriate ways to handle my anxiety. One thing I have learned is that one does not have to go into the past to resolve adult problems. It is a needless distraction from the solution.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101