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Scotland #2390562 06/15/10 12:18 AM
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Just finished watching a movie with wheels! Had a great time cuddling on the couch one of my favorites! One of the things that made me fall in love with him was his touch smile

We are going to start another book, actually two! Lol, we decided to read a marriage book and a FUN book smile Really excited about it really, we use to read all the time together before we had kids, and we decided to keep doing it!

So far since I have been back we have read 6 books, either marriage books, self help books, and FUN books!

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Sounds GREAT. What fun book are you guys reading? Is one of the marriage books a Harley book? If so, which one? Which ones have you read so far?


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
Scotland #2390619 06/15/10 07:53 AM
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Don't stop trying to help others! Your posts have done a great deal to help me understand what my WW is thinking. It was your insight that has helped me get through some tough days. While you should definitely continue to work on your own situation, sometimes you learn the most by teaching others.

sot #2390622 06/15/10 08:16 AM
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I agree with sot, the whole idea of understanding is to think through things from every angle.......trying to understand and make sense of what we hear and see......thanks for helping


BW 56
WH 57
Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that.....
DS 23, DS 25
D-Day Nov 23/09
NC Mar 1/10
Working on Recovery
Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
Scotland #2390644 06/15/10 09:04 AM
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Originally Posted by Scotland
Sounds GREAT. What fun book are you guys reading? Is one of the marriage books a Harley book? If so, which one? Which ones have you read so far?


WE have read

HNHN
The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands
Love Languages
SAA (we are starting this book smile

We read the last book of harry potter again, since the movies will be out soon
The whole series of (3 books) "the Mortal instruments"
now we are starting another series of "leven thumps"

I am personally reading a couple books such as..
"How to stop self sabotage"
A church book called "Miracle forgiveness"

and at night we are both are reading personal scriptures and pray each morning and each night.

A lot of reading, but my husband really likes it because it gives us something to talk about other then are kids LOL smile

We usually do an activity with our kids after dinner, and then when the kids go to bed we start doing our UA, every night for 3 hours, then we spend about another 4 hours on our friday night date night smile

sot #2390646 06/15/10 09:09 AM
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Originally Posted by sot
Don't stop trying to help others! Your posts have done a great deal to help me understand what my WW is thinking. It was your insight that has helped me get through some tough days. While you should definitely continue to work on your own situation, sometimes you learn the most by teaching others.


By all means, if there is a "phrase" or anything your WS is saying feel free to post it on THIS thread, I am not a negative person, so if anyone needs help by all means you can ask. I will stop giving advise freely.

I decided I will just read and soak it in, and I will update this thread instead of giving advise.

TY

Really excited about Friday, my sister and her kids have been visiting me all week and we are ALL going to Logan to visit my aunt, Wheels will be coming a long too smile Another thing I really enjoy with wheels is driving a long distant, we usually just talk, talk, and talk, non stop about the future, what goals we are setting, etc. I don't know something about a long drive is just...soothing?? LOL smile

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SR

How are YOU doing?

You are pretty new to recovery.
It can be a tough couple of months.

Things OK?

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Quote
Another thing I really enjoy with wheels is driving a long distant, we usually just talk, talk, and talk, non stop about the future, what goals we are setting, etc.

Here is a fun conversation idea.

Say you win the powerball for 40 million dollars taxes paid. What would you each want to do with your money?

This is the one game my wife play over and over again. It is a fun way to talk about what her dreams are in life without really asking.

Last edited by YEG; 06/24/10 01:01 PM.

(ME) BS - 33YO
(HER) WW - 32YO
Married 7 years
DD5
D-Day - 5/1/10 (PA)
Exposure 5/7/10
Plan A 5/7/10 -
Plan B or Recovery on 7-1-10 Its in her court ATM
My thread
YEG #2395669 06/24/10 01:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Pepperband
SR

How are YOU doing?

You are pretty new to recovery.
It can be a tough couple of months.

Things OK?


Things are soo great! no LB, tuns of UA, reading together, spending time with the kids, keeping myself busy around the house and the kids.

Tomorrow we are actually going on a date...we haven't been on one for like 3 weeks a lot of stuff going on, sister visited for a week, and my little sister had a baby smile So I'm LOOKING forward on our time together smile

Wheel unblocked FB a couple weeks ago, and ask me if I wanted to start up on FB again (under his terms that is) I told him not right now, and I haven't even been on there ONCE since he unblocked it. I see no hurry to do so, I told him if I ever started a new FB account it would only be because of my business, and family. Nothing more!
Originally Posted by YEG
Here is a fun conversation idea.

Say you win the powerball for 40 million dollars taxes paid. What would you each want to do with your money?

This is the one game my wife play over and over again. It is a fun way to talk about what her dreams are in life without really asking.


That is a good idea! Sounds like fun too! Ty yeg!

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Good news, indeed.
I'd stay away from FB too, if I were you.

Unless think

MarriedForever has a JOINTLY named FB account.
It belongs to both MarriedForever and her handsome hubby.
Just an idea .....

Pepperband #2395675 06/24/10 01:17 PM
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Ya my husband has a FB account, but he doesn't want to share if I will be doing most of my business on it. I have thought about that though. Like I said...I am in no hurry smile I am doing great in my business and have been moving really fast! That is why I mentioned it would be business/family.

These are the terms I came up with and Wheels agrees with them, he will have all the access to my fb account, all the messages will go to his phone and email not mine, and he will approve all of my friends to make sure they are not a threat to the marriage smile

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This morning we were on the MB web site while making pancakes for the kids, and we were just discussing about waywards and how "not smart" they are, I mean they don't even plan! They just want to get out of the marriage so fast without even realizing what consequences lay ahead of them....

Then I started talking how glad I am that he got me out of that fog, cause I would have been soo unhappy if we actually did get a divorce....

We were discussing about some BS and WW on MB and how the WS always complains about his unhappy life, and how their family and friends would always make them feel guilty. This is what wheels said what I use to say...

wheels and my mom would say "Do you understand or realize how much you will lose if you keep living your life like this?"

My repsonce..

"STOP making me feel soo guilty!!"

I totally remember saying this, I had so much guilt, and so unhappy.

Man I'm so glad I'm not there anymore! Thanks to MB and Wheels!

Anyway right now wheels is finishing up with the pancakes, then we will get the kids ready so we can take them to the parade! Then tonight is a BBQ and fireworks!! YA!!

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SR,
I just had to read your whole thread after all the help you gave me. It is awesome. I just wish my WAW would see she needs help and get it. After my change I know we can make it work. It is comforting to know she is saying every thing that you said. It gives me more hope for success, and more determined to stay in Plan A.


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WAW:47
Years Married: 21
Children: 2 Boys, 19 & 16
D Day: informed of separation desire May 14, 2010
Move out day: July 1st 2010
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Thanks awoken laugh I'm glad that my thread helped you! Your going great!

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It has been 6 months into recovery.

Wheels just asked me I should write another apology letter to his family and my family on what I have done, I don't mind doing this but the only thing I'm worried about is that I don't want it to open up any wounds?

What do you think?

He also suggested maybe just letting them know how we are doing and what we are doing to improve our marriage.

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FYI. We ask this because at the beginning of this month, after a horrible trip to a family reunion at the cabin, my mom said "Sapph still hasn't apologized for what she did." I replied "She did don't you remember?"

Apparently there was a little esginess in the air with my family, but nothing was said. Still if my mom can't remember the apology, who else does not remember.

Would it also be good for herr to formaly apologize to her family, and give a little update?

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How about a phone call instead of "another" apology letter?

The thing is, most families have some old history that can be the source of pain/discomfort/resentment ... and MANY families have been troubled by adultery, one way or another.

What is the point/purpose of "another" letter?

It is intended to rebuild a relationship between you and his kin?
If it is, why not offer them a deeper friendship rather than "another" apology letter?

Offer to visit them?
Offer to share an activity with them?
Offer to share recent photos with them?

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Originally Posted by Wheels_spinning
"Sapph still hasn't apologized for what she did." I replied "She did don't you remember?"


This explains a lot! I had know idea! I wished you had said something to me, I will apologize to her on Saturday when we are up there.

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Originally Posted by SapphireReturns
I will apologize to her on Saturday when we are up there.

I like this way better than a letter.

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Man, this is so hard, maybe I'm scared because I'll have to start all over with his family. Well, another consequence that I have to endure because of my actions.

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