So now that you look back, do you wish you would've exposed sooner? What helped mend your relationship with your children?
Looking back, I don't know... so many should of, would of, could ofs, I thought because he was a pastor/counselor and he had counseled others to work on their marriages and to follow the Lord. I had thought he would do the same... I was wrong. I had to hit the wall a few times in realizing that.
You see, I had to face that my husband didn't love me or want me, as well as to see that what he taught others did not apply to him.
I say all of that to say, for me it was a process of stripping away the layers.
I know that I did all that I could, I have no place in the process that I feel I did not give a chance to restore the relationship.
Regardiny my children, my grown children did not know the reason when I left, they only knew what their father was telling them (which they had heard for years). I was unstable, that he had put up with so much for years. They knew nothing of the affair, until my mom called my daughter and told her everything.
My daughter came over to where I was living and just broken down and cried for me and for the lie she had believed. She had to work through alot of the stuff going on, but for the most part she did pretty well.
My son on the other hand, recieved the news of the affair becuase my daughter threatened their dad to tell or she would... UGLY for sure... I was only allowed to see the boys, at restaurants a for birthdays,or Mothers day. I had made numerous request for them to come as a family, the invitation were alway declined or ignored. The change did not start with him until, he really began to see the truth in his father. Lies, deception and selfish actions often at the cost of my son.
All the while the was an army of prayer warriors praying for the restauration of my relationship with my children.
Slowly my son began to open his heart to me, I am invited and expected at the kids events, I even have had the boys over during the holiday breaks. God truely is able to do the impossible.
I hope that this helps, I often thought that things would never get better, but they are. I don't try to hurry it, I let the Lord do His Work, in His Way in His Time... It comes out a lot better.