I'm puzzled over why you had to fight at all in the courts.

He went to court for visitation. You should have done nothing and spent little or no money until and unless a court ordered your child to have a DNA test. You didn't have to spent any money to defend yourself, surely. Did he actually take you to court? What did a judge order you to do?

You seem to have first, spent a lot of time fighting him when he had no right to claim that the child of a marriage was his, and second, to have given in when that became too much - all on his word that his DNA test proved that your child was his.

I'm just really, really puzzled! And appalled, because you gave him sole access to your child for "visitation" without a judge's say-so.

I know what's done is done and this came out all right so we should just be happy, but we should make sure the details of your errors are known for any other OC parent who comes here. Indeed, weren't you warned as soon as you came here not to agree to anything without a court order?

As for the DNA test: he could not have put his own DNA on both samples, because the test would have come 100% matched, which no parent and child can ever be. A child carries roughly half the DNA of one parent and half the other. He must have obtained a sample from a relative that he was only half related to - a parent or a child. A sibling would have been too close a match.

Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.