Hello, and thank you for this resource.
My husband and I have been married 13 years. I found out last night that he had sex with someone. I reviewed his texts, but some of them have been deleted.
We have 3 kids, ages 11, 9, and 7. The other woman is single and has 3 kids who are the same ages, and attend the same school.
I guess it started about a month ago, them hanging out, and they finally had sex Tuesday, 4 days ago. I've always suspected that she was looking for another "dad" for her kids.
She is sending my husband messages sayaing she thinks she is pregnant, she wanted to take the morning after pill but by the time she got it it was too late, so she didn't take it. I am thinking she did this on purpose, tried to get pregnant.
I overheard their phone conversation and confronted him. He had felt guilty about the whole thing and wanted to break it off. There are some things I don't know what to think right now but I do think he is remorseful and would do anything I ask to save our marriage. He said they had been kind of flirty for about a month but nothing physical happened until then. It was one time but unprotected. She isn't on birth control.
Right now, even though it's only been four days, I can't stop wondering about what to do if she is pregnant. I have read the advice, and so glad I found it. No contact with her or her baby is exactly what I would want. Despite what happened, I know my husband would agree to the same.
I am fearful of what might happen to me financially. I am the breadwinner in the house. My husband started a business that is still in its infancy and so far has negative equity. When he started that, we had to make a lot of changes, and money is tight. I've been working extra shifts just to make ends meet. I assume that the state can take money from my check to give her child support.
I know that there is uncertainty right now, and maybe some will say not to worry about it until we know if she isn't pregnant or not. But it would comfort me to be prepared and have a plan.
I read somewhere that we should legally separate. Is that true even if we plan to reconcile? Can she take money from him even though he doesn't earn much by himself? Someone somewhere said to put a lot of money in retirement to "hide" it.
I just can't find a lot of information about that stuff, so I'm wondering if anyone can give me advice or point me in the right direction.
Thank you so much. Sorry I have to be here...