I went back and read passages of my bible after all this happened. I can't speak to all those who married under different faiths, but my basic (extremely basic) knowledge of other religions leads me to believe that somewhere in the premises of other faiths there are also these same pearls of wisdom. I'm going to interpret a bit here, and I fully understand that someone better versed in the bible will most likely correct me, but here goes anyway. As for the design of humans to hurt each other there is certainly some validity. That's why our marriage vows have both sides of the coin, and Corinthians details ways in which to treat each other in marriage. Even though I'm a betrayed, no matter what happens to my relationship the chances are I'm going to hurt my partner again. I'm going to do it. Not intentionally, but it's still going to happen, and I have control over my actions. I'm not perfect. Neither is my partner. Why would I expect something from him that I'm not? I think it's pretty well impossible to find that perfect man out there. So by grand design we are going to hurt each other. It's going to happen, over and over again. The only thing that will lessen the frequency, and provide the greater hope is to respond with love. I've read several relationship books, and they all say it, but more importantly my foundation of faith says it. You can disagree with me if you want, but if you are looking for the strength to love...look to your faith. We all need to revisit it sometimes.