Using "tough love" with a betraying spouse is to shake that person up to the realization that he/she is making a choice or decision that will have negative consequences on her and the members of her family. Tough love makes the statement that the betrayed must be treated with respect and not be emotionally abused. Tough love makes the statement that the betrayer can return to the marriage but must do so with sincerity and commitment. Tough love will not force the betrayer to feel trapped in a marriage. I would urge you to read the book "Love Must be Tough" by Dr.J. Dobson who elaborates further on this subject. Best wishes...max