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#68309 01/21/99 11:38 AM
Joined: Jan 1999
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I am egaged to a lovely young woman. There is a large age difference, me being older. I have been married before and would like to have an agreement that if anything does go wrong, what was mine before the marriage remains mine. She feels this sort of agreement is simply preparing us for future divorce and is quite offended by it. I have lost everything more than once, and am not even thinking divorce in regard to this agreement. Are prenuptual agreements wrong?

#68310 01/25/99 10:42 PM
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I would say they are not always necessary. It is understandable that you would want to protect yourself after having been burned once. If you go into a marriage preparing for divorce, that's what you'll get. I know money and possessions are important, but to me they are not worth adding more stress to a marriage. Marriage is complicated enough as it is, don't add more to it. Take time to heal from your past relationship. One doesn't have anything to do with the other. Don't mix them up. Try not to compare them. You must learn to trust again. Be honest about your apprehension with her... And when you are ready, then tear up the agreement in front of her face. If you love her enough to marry her, you love her enough to take a risk. Marriage involves risk. Besides you seem to have bounced back from that unfortunate incident. You must have strength.

#68311 01/26/99 11:07 AM
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facelift,<p>I have always thought a prenup is preparing for divorce before you ever get started.<p>How about a marriage prenup? Something like you will attend a marriage enrichment seminar once a year and actually be honest & open with each other. I know a bunch of this type of stuff (better or worse, richer or poorer) is included in the wedding vows, but actually sitting down and thinking about what you expect out of a marriage and how to get there is something totally different.


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