Hello spooknook.<P>Your post gave me some glimmer of hope.<BR>My wife has been gone for a little over a month now.<P>I'm going on with my life. The wreck I had made me come to me senses. I was hoping on hope that she would see the light. I was going down slow.<P>After the wreck my wife told me that she tought that the should have been fatal wreck was a sign that she was doing the wrong thing. She then decided that it wasnt.<P>You know, she said that she wants to find herself, be alone. Well, she spends all her time with the OW. The only thing I can think of is, is she's trying to find herself through the OW. Alone is alone. If that makes any sense. <P>We are going to the movies Saturday after next. I'm keeping the lines of communication open. I do let her know that I still love her and miss her, that I think of her often. Like yesterday, I mailed her a thinking of you card. I do not go overboard with it though. Mabey 1 or 2 times a week.<P>I'm willing to go to any lengths to save our marriage if possible. I just need to hear the healing words from her. <P>I do think she is confused.<BR>I do think it is infatuation she has for this woman. She says that it is love.<BR>She says that she loves me, but is not IN love with me.<P> She didnt even want to try to work on our marriage. Just a few days ago I started feeling a resentment against her for not even trying. Just the, I need to find myself crap, and running out the door. I dont want to feel this way. I was thinking about talking to her about it, the decided against it.<P>I still find it a hard pill to swallow, that she is willing to throw a 10 year relationship, 8 year marriage out the window.<P>She wants to remain friends, I want more. I want my wife back. When we see each other the conversation always turns to the OW. I dont say a word out loud, but inside I'm screaming to her that I dont want to hear it.<BR>That I dont want to know one thing about the OW, other than that they are through.<P>She told me that if we are going to remain friends, that I'm going to have to accept the OW, and be her friend too I guess. I dont think so. Thats asking alot. If she only knew how much it pains me to hear her talk and carry on about the OW.<P>Lately I have been thinking about, that if she tells me one more time that I'm going to have to accept the OW. I'm going to tell her no, I dont have too. That I want my wife as a friend not the OW, and if that is the stipulation of our friendship, then give me a call when you find out what you want. That scares me when I think of telling her that. Because it seems as if I'm writing off anything that might be salvagable as far our marriage goes. Like I mentioned earlier...I want to keep the lines of communication open.<P>Anyway. I hope anyone can make heads or tails of what I just posted. I work 3rd shift now. I got 3 hours of sleep last night before I went in....so I'm like a zombie right now. If anyone needs any clarification let me know.<P>Thanks<BR>Mark