Does anyone know the cycles or stages an affair most likely goes through? I'm trying to determine where my H may be in this. I've read the part about six months and I'm aware of the addiction/withdrawal aspect.

I think my H and OW are starting to have differences. They are about 2 1/2 months into it, about 2 months that I've known, about 1 1/2 abouts that H admitted it to me. I told him from the get go that I knew. OW is also married with children.

H is starting to be flirty and playful with me. Admits he loves me. Asked if it is possible to care about two people at the same time. Has remorse for hurting me. Says he has tried to stay away. Will tell me he loves me. Gives me gifts.

I've been doing Plan A from start. Here lately it is extremely difficult not to lose it with the positive changes I see in him and then have him leave to see her.

So anyway I was just wondering if anyone knew of stages that affairs generally go through before ending.

I feel I'm so close to having him back but I'm so scared of giving up and dying. The last time he left I wanted to end it all. Not sure how much longer I can do this. Time really is an evil world in this life.

Thank, Jenny

allofme:

Have you read the articles on the home page? If not, you should. There's a lot of real-life examples there (as well as on this forum) that can give you better ideas than I can (because of the length and nature of my W's A).

You should also read all you can about plan A. You're at the point in time that I was when I realized I could actually move beyond the worst panic attacks, stop LBing, and truly start working on my self-recovery. Be careful of signs of closeness from your H right now. He's definitely "cakewalking" if he's asking you about loving both you and the OW at the same time - it's just not possible. YOUR M is reality-based love, and his A is fantasy-based infatuation. It will pass when he realizes that he really can't spend the rest of his life with a liar and a cheat, and that, if he has any integrity left at all, he doesn't want to continue lying and cheating HIMSELF.

Good luck to you. You sound well, considering.