Me and my wife were together for 3 woderful years, but things change very fast. first it started out by her saying she needs some space, but to still be comitted to each other, with in a week she was staying with another man, but still living with me and our child. About 1 week later she was show signs that I meant nothing to her and the other man is the one she is commited to. now she move in with him four days ago and still she told me that no one could ever say that we still couldn't see each other and she loves me and he isn't the right person for her, but she needs time. Two days ago she said that we could spend the night together Saterday (and she promised). She has made multipile promises to me and breaks everyone, even know she know that I really look forward to even spending one night with her. She seens not to have any conserns or cares about her word to me or respect of my feelings. She was never this way before. I wrote some questions that I wanted anwsered like, do you still love me? do you still want to be my friend? do you still want to be together forever some day? Will you spend two nights a week with me? Do you want to still make love to me? She said yes to all of them. This was just 2 days ago. So we made plans for saterday, (Today) for her to spend the night. She broke plans with me on the same day. She doesn't seem to have any conserns about how I feel and doesn't seen to want to spend any time with me at all. She says she love me and still want to do things with me, but she can never go through with any of them. I want to get my family back but don't know if I can. She seems to be careing less and less by the day. Is there any way to make her at least enjoy the very little time I get to see her when we exchange our child or when she graces me with her presence for an hour or two. I really need some good advise, at least to take my mind off my misery. Thanks Hugh

H; we're very sorry to hear about your situation, but have faith; you've come to a good place.

MarriageBuilders has numerous resources and information which will help you. Start by reading Dr. Harley's Basic Concepts here:

DR Harley's Basic Concepts

Another good resource to get you started is the Q&A section of the web site, where you'll find articles and guidance on many different topics:

MB Q & A Columns

as well as the articles section: In particular, the articles on Infidelity.

MB Articles

In these forums, you will find many people who are or have been in your situation, and will help you through this, give you ideas and encoragement.

There are also Notable Posts, which will guide you in many areas:

Notable Posts

and the Reading List, in addition to Dr. Harley's Books:

MB Book List w/Links

Dr. Harley's Books

We know you feel desperate and overwhelmed right now, but have a bit of faith, read the material, and as you begin to understand what is happening to you, and to see that others have been there and have come out ahead, your situation will begin to improve.

Welcome; we're sorry you had to come here, but we're glad you did!

Hi Hugh:

Welcome to MB...Spacecase has really given you some great advise...because you need a firm understanding of this whole "infidelity" business to be able to deal with what is happening not only to you but to your WS....please so the reading...it is very important.

I know that you are reeling from all this...but you need to back off and give yourself and your WS some time...you need the time to bind up your wounds a little...and she needs time for the reality of what she has done to hit home. She has made her decision to move out...to have the affair...she is the offending party here...not you....maybe you made mistakes...and with MB's help you can begin to correct those mistakes...but you don't need to beg her for favors...of any kind...and operating with a feeling of desperation is not going to bring her back to you. MB will help you work on getting her back...if this is a marriage that can be salvaged...but it will be through strengthen yourself not through begging her to come back.

come here when you need to...read and suffer with us...and you will begin to understand how similar our situation can be...listen to those who have been where you are and survived...it will really save you some misery in the long run.

Again welcome to MB...and sorry you have to join the gang...but you're lucky to have found them.