Lead him here! Ask if he'll read the site!

Learn and practive POJA!!!!

tomorrow we are going to a seminar called "soulmates" by Les and Leslie Parrott. I'm praying that he is going to be thinking about me being his soulmate, and not OW as he has in the past.

Has anyone read any of their books or attended this seminar?

Stung

That's really great news. Sometimes it takes a few "meltdowns" like the one you described to get through the fog and withdrawal.

A word of caution, though, don't expect the seminar to be a "do all, end all" to your coaster ride. When BS's are still in withdrawal and the fog from an A, they will not "get" near as much from the seminar as you will. You can jump on the bandwagon and beat your drum, while the BS might be thinking, "jeez, is this really necessary???"

I don't mean for this to be a downer... I just want you to stay rock solid, and remember this is just a part of the process, albiet, a good one!!!

Good luck!

SD

Stung
This is all so sad... I don't know if it would help but I kinda wish I could talk to your H and maybe say something like "I nearly went down that road(leaving) and it would have made the A I had an even greater disaster. By the way OW said if she ever did leave her H she would not re-marry. I had a very difficult time seperateing from the OW. I believe wholeheartedly that my attachment to her was due to my troubled past(childhood issues). You have two children with Stung by a Bee imagine them and you 10 or 15 years older and you are now a grandfather! My daughter and son-in-law have a 21 month old baby boy and he is truley the light of our lives. Everything stops when he comes over to visit. His uncles (our sons) just love him so very much. I almost gave all that away. I cannot imagine not being here to enjoy him munching on a cookie or laying down with me for a nap. We baby sit almost every chance we get. Our youngest son is getting married next month and I am sure there will be more of those babies on the way". I would say to him "dude where do you want to be when your a grand pa?" "Split between two families?" "more than likely allienated, perhaps estranged from your own daughter?" "Will you get to walk her down the Aisle when she gets married" "Will special arragements have to be put in place on her wedding day to accomodate you and your new W?" "Do you think becoming a weekend dad is woth it" "Take a long look at the children of divorced parents" "I've worked with many of those kids in the last 30 years, I have never met one that said they were happy that their parents were divorced... not a single one... most said they missed their dads.

Maybe you want to print this out and let your H read it... it isn't really anything great but perhaps he'll take it from someone who almost "went there" and now thanks God everyday that I am still at home where I belong. I wish you both the very best.
H
Wow I just read wednesday's post good for you!

<small>[ March 12, 2004, 11:07 PM: Message edited by: Hiker ]</small>

Hi Stung

I am back. I was anxious to see what had transpired over the weekend.
It is sad to see how some guys will have nothing to do with counseling or other types of "help" groups. That was the way my father was. On the other hand I feel I need all the help I can get so it is difficult for me to offer ways to break that barrier down. I don't understand the "don't tell me what to do" mentality either. If it is going to make our relationship better I am for it. Even if there are no guarantees I thing it's worth a try.
H

Your posts have for some reasons really touched my heart and I couldn't stop readiing to see how things turned out. Please keep posting how things are going. Good luck!

Hey, sorry to leave you hangin'. Haven't visited this forum for a while ... been on "in recovery" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> .

OK. Went to the "soulmates" seminar. It was good. One criticism I had was I wanted to have discussion time with just my H and I ... we were at tables of 6 - 8 and sometimes we all discussed something. Les Parrot was there, but Leslie Parrot was home with a sick child. He was very funny and entertaining. Great speaker.

Just the fact that my H was willing to go to the seminar with me shows me how much he loves me and is willing to be committed to our M.

Things have been going really well. A few moments here or there that have been trying, but for the most part we are reconnecting. Was at our son's gymnastics meet yesterday and someone said that she had seen us at another meet and thought H was my BF because we looked so lovey-dovey and happy. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> (Not that we were hanging on each other, but you know ... sitting close and lookig into each other's eyes, smiling, all that good dating stuff.)

I can see in his eyes and in the way he talks to me that he is HERE. My mind is still suspicious, but I would imagine that will dissipate after passage of time. He had told me last week that you'll know when I'm HERE because I'll be engaged with you ... watch my actions. So I've been doing that and I feel his love for me.

It has been a long road, and I'm sure the road has some more turns in it for us. But I continue to feel positive toward our relationship. We WILL make it through this and come out better on the other side. I can see that in what has been happening. God is surrounding my family and protecting us.

Think I'll continue to post In Recovery because that's where I really feel that we are. It's real and it's happening. Love to come to MB, but now feel that I don't need to spend all day here. What a difference a few months makes, huh?!

Thank you all for your ears and words. What in the world did we do before MB? God Bless!!

<small>[ March 21, 2004, 10:28 PM: Message edited by: Stung by a Bee ]</small>