H works a full-time day job and then teaches karate at night. I work at karate school too, but I'm behind the desk and he works the floor. I opened the karate school with him so that we could be together more, but it's not working out that way.

He also has a 20 year old female assistant that he's always working with and talking to. He rarely shows me any attention when I'm there. Sometimes I leave early and he doesn't even notice.

H is in MLC and admitted to EA that just ended a few month's ago. He has been terribly depressed and I understand this. The OW was someone at his day job. He might see her there, but says it is totally over.

I'm in therapy and on anti-depressants. How can we get into recovery when we only see each other a little on the weekends. We have Friday and Saturday nights and all day Sunday. On Sundays he's withdrawn like he doesn't want to be with me...when he doesn't have anything to do, he starts thinking and getting moody. I've tried day trips on Sunday and that helps.

It's like he's not really trying. He wont do the EN or LB questionairs. He wont do therapy or anti-depressants. Is there hope for us?

Lost,

I wanted to respond - there are so many people here who I call the resident experts and I'm sure will give you some great advice.

Do you think maybe the both of you are such givers on the outside (your jobs, the karate ), that when you're home, neither one wants to be the giver, and you're both waiting for the other to dote?

Thanks for response,

Yes! But, I never thought of it that way. Plus we are sooooo tired at the end of the day when he comes home. He always comes home, but he's gone nearly all the time. On Friday nights when he gets home he goes straight in for a 2 hour nap. Then he doesn't want to do anything because he has to get up early for classes the next morning. So Saturday night is our only "date" night.


I don't want to just bring up our problems, because I want him to have fun with me. We just became empty nesters as well. So, I want to do lots of fun stuff so we can fall in love again. Right now he's unhappy and doesn't know why or how to get out of it. Says he doesn't feel for me like he used to. Has no problem having sex with me however on Saturday nights!

Any more suggestions?