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Joined: May 1999
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It will take me 2 weeks to get caught up on everyone since my vacation.<P>Butterfly, - did your husband start taking the meds? What happened when inlaws came down?<P>Derby? Are you hanging in there?<P>FHL - Are you over your bad days - You are usually so positive - and when I went on vacation you were more down than usual.<P>CL - How is the recovery going in person?<P>Everyone else - LA46 - Gina Van, Lilly, Lor, Starpony - Empty and Empty's wife - Empty Shell - Catch me up!!!

Joined: Jul 1999
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TnT<BR>I'm still here. Nothing really new to report. Husband still doesn't say "I love you" but maybe that will come. Who knows. He has been in a much better mood lately. We are 7 wks into withdrawal now and I asked him what we needed to work on. He said he didn't think we had any problems. I don't know what he thinks a year long affair is and when I asked him he just said "Oh that." I think he's kind of confused over the whole thing. Who knows. We are at a definite standstill and I'm really not sure how to progress from here. Thanks for asking.<P>Sounds like your family is really going through some challenges. I pray that it brings you and your h closer together! It's nice to have you back from vacation [Linked Image]

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trustandtruth, I'm not sure when you left I think it was about the middle of my vacation. His first week home was okay, he was a bit off but I just wrote it off to withdrawal. Found out later she came back to him on the first day of work and said she would not leave him alone and didn't and they saw each other at work.<P>We had 5 nice days alone together before our camping trip and the day before we left he went to wash his truck alone and I knew he was seeing her, that was one of sneak outs before,he was not gone long but it shook me and I told him and he just said don't worry. Camping was nice and when we got back he started a fight at home that first night and tried to leave and I stopped him and in the morning he told me he could not be without her. He was not happy. I tried with no avail to explain about withdrawal.<P>I decided this is out last chance and remember kat1 saying it's easier to handle things when they are home so I said, okay, I'll share, but you have to keep treating me really good. None of that crap from before. He dissapeared and came back 1 hour later and I said are you happy now and he said, yea, and I said good.<P>We got a nice secluded cabin for the rest of our vacation and it was wonderfull. Had a hot tub on the deck and we just enjoyed ourselves. Came home and he had 2 days before he went back to work and he didn't even try to contact her.<P>Once he was back at work he changed. Not drastically but enough to affect me and my emotions and I started going downhill.I also think seeing the real him during whole vaction time and then going back into this affected me. I turned into a big wreck and I decided to go to my sisters to try and clear my head. I thought about things for 2 days before I left and decided I can't do this anymore, I'm not going to go crazy over this and you read the rest down in my other post.<P>I'm sad, I thought he would at least take the week I was supposed to be gone to think about it but I think he decided the first night.I'm glad you are back! Sorry about the circumstances.<P>------------------<BR>Lilly<P><BR><p>[This message has been edited by Lilly (edited August 13, 1999).]

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Derby and Lilly,<P>Thank you for updating me. I prayed for you when I was gone, and Lilly - your situation makes me cry. You have done everything you can, and pray that the Lord gives you wisdom and peace.<P>Derby, He will come around, don't expect too much too soon. Some of the biggest deposits to the bank account is showing your pleasure with your spouse. Letting them know that they are able to please you in all the different areas is a real encouragement builder. Keep working on it, and your chin up and keep a smile on that face! <P>Lilly, your husband is sooooo addicted, and it is so hard on him. Maybe it is best for you not to go downhill, and let him flounder with his decisions on his own. With time, he may come around.<P>God Bless.<BR>My grandneice is coming home on Monday, and a home health aid will visit the home every 8 hours and administer the anti-biotic through the catheter. I guess my niece and godchild is happier than ever! Thank you both for your prayers.<P>Connie

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trustandtruth, glad to hear she is coming home. I know he is, I even feel sorry for him. That must be horrible to be in that state of confusion. He is now having work problems. I think it the next transition for him. Worked there 22 years and loved his job. He hates it now, is always arguing with his boss. I hope he's carefull for his own sake.<BR>Pray mostly for me to be strong. I don't have big support group here, but I know I will be okay. Need to find things to keep me busy. You're right, can't say goodbye here can I?<P>------------------<BR>Lilly<P><BR>

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TNT-<P>Hello! So glad to have you back. <P>Not much going on with me. Since that one night he has been really good. We had one big arguement on our way to go camping with some friends. He told me to drop him off and then go home. I told him I would go home if he explained to our friend's with me there that he was sending me home. He didn't say a word. It ended up being a good time. I gave him some space for an hour or so to cool down.<P>In that arguement he threatened to leave. I told him not to ever tell me that unless he was on his way out the door. Said I was tired of the treats, so unless he was willing to back it up then to not say it. Haven't heard about leaving since. I told him I wouldn't stop him.<P>As an aside, I have Bell's palsy again. Still haven't got full use back on the right side from the episode in Jan. Now the left is affected. It sucks but H is being very supportive. <P>So glad to have you back. I missed you a lot.

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trustntruth -- Glad your back. My W has started posting since you went on vacation. We just got back from vacation ourselves today. Her screen name has been deceiver, but she changed it today to hopeful1771.<P>I'm still trying to catch-up from being gone for 4 days, so I can imagine how the load you need to go through.<P>Things are going OK for us. We still have a lot of work to do, but I think we'll get there.<P>By the way, I posted a message for you and others, just after you went on vacation. . .You might want to look for it.<P>I will look forward to oyur advice in the future.<P>God Bless

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Thank you TrustnTruth...I appreciate you warm concern. Yes I am better.<P>He really is trying and I believed I have learned and grown enough to make changes as well.<P>Busy weekend. Got to go.<P><P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

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Hi TnT,<BR>Well, lots has happened.... H is NOT taking meds. He found out I call his parents & got mad. I got back from vacation & started looking for a place to live.... I moved out Thursday (8-12). [Linked Image] <P>We met last night to discuss financial arrangments until the legal paperwork is filed. (I am filing for a legal seperation). <P>I won't be posting very much for a while..... I won't have internet service at home until they get my phone in (could be 2 or more weeks yet). I will try to check in from work as often as possible. I will be checking my e-mail (labutterfly68@hotmail.com) daily though.... so you all can reach me there.<P>God bless us all,<BR>Butterfly<P>------------------<BR>My favorite quote....<BR>"Hello, this is God. I will be handeling your problems today. I will not need your help, so sit back and have a good day."<BR>


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