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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Watch what you say. Grace Kelly was an OW!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
I didn't know that!!!!!!!

But she did do a good job "looking very confident and appearing to be very classy". <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I do agree with you, not to "manipulate". Playing "straight" is definately the best way to go. Nothing will ever "backfire".

take care
bb

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Yes, I am just fantasizing! (sp?) I probably will steer clear of them just to prevent a confrontation...I hate confrontations in reality. But I do enjoy thinking about being nasty! LOL

However, I really am not like that. If I were, I think that after a year of this, I would have done or said something by now. In fact, last December when WS's mom got sick with cancer, OW was at the hospital with WS. I was very civil towards her, and kept my poise and grace in a difficult situation. I was very nice to her, even talking about "mom" and the care she would be needing. I think the thing that "hurt" OW the most was that WS's entire family ignored her, and huddled and rallied around me. They are from out of town, and it had been some time since we'd seen each other, so it was all hugs, and I love you's and I miss you's...and I could almost see the smoke coming out of her ears! She certainly was feeling like the outsider. And I didn't have to do a thing to make it happen! I really enjoyed it!

Also, I am not doing anything to try to get him back...I don't want him back. You brought up trust...well, I don't trust him and I don't think I will ever be able to learn to trust him again. And I know she is very insecure about my role in his life. So, though it is fun to fantasize about all the mean and ugly things I could do to make her uncomfortable, I agree that just my presence will be enough, especially if I come off as "Grace Kelly," confident, poised, and graceful.

As far as the date....I'm still pondering that. We'll see. Either way, I think I will have a good time being happy and carefree and sure of myself, while she writhes with insecurity!

Thanks for having some fun with me on this!

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Trinity Brianne:
<strong> As far as OW feeling "secure" in that I am not a threat because I am "taken," I think the opposite will be true because I think she will be able to pick up on my XH's jealousy. And I KNOW he will be....even after the D, he still expects me to "wait" for him to dump her, so we can be reunited. HA!

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think you should go for it, bring a date/friend and enjoy yourself to the fullest! It is a shock how men expect women to 'wait' for them while they are off being jerks.... what is good for the goose is good for the gander.... You hold your head HIGH, you did not break the marriage vows.... You should be so proud of losing weight, and dress to kill..... I know that will help your self esteem. There's nothing wrong with what you are doing.... good luck, and I know you will have a great story to tell!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

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I have already decided, at the urging of the bride (who absolutely abhors the OW just for the fact that she is an OW)
Why is the bride allowing the ow (and your soon to be ex) to come to the wedding?
Marriage is sacred (and all that yada. yada) but your husband and the ow showed it meant nothing to them.

Inviting them to the weeding is like calling for ice delivery to the Titanic after it has hit the iceberg.
Friendship is one thing but total disregard for your own wedding?

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Chris~

The bride is inviting them because my XH is very good friends with the groom. Oh well.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

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Chris~

The bride is inviting them because my XH is very good friends with the groom. Oh well.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

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This is my opinion:

I wouldn't want or need a man!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
Like you said..."your the winner!!!" free to roam and mingle as you please!! 20 dance partners all night long~~~~beautiful and radiant.

NO MAN NECESSARY!~
In my opinon TRUTH and HONESTY works better. Why "fake" something???? YOU just be YOU.....foot loose and fancy free!!!!

That's my opinion!
NOTHING wrong with going stag! NOTHING! you have actually earned the right....think of it in the positive...all those single men~~~drooling over you! he he he he! Nothing is sweeter in my imagination than an EX and his OW seeing that!

Blessings,
Atruheart <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

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Ok, I guess you are right about going alone. It just might be more fun than having a man with me that I will have to entertain. LOL So, now I have to call the bride and find out how many good looking single guys will be there that I can "flirt" with! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

As I play out both scenarios in my mind...having a gorgeous, charming, YOUNGER (LOL) man on my arm, or playing the room and mingling with all the single guys...both are tempting. But I think being alone and doing the mingle thing and also, the ultimately "available" thing, might just get both their goats. I mean...WS would be thinking about what he lost...and OW would be thinking I am a threat to her...especially as good as I look now. (And I wouldn't have to do a thing to invoke that, just my mere presence will be enough <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ) As my father-in-law stated to me, I am 10 times the woman she is...in looks, class, personality, and intelligence. Why not use that to my advantage???

Ok, so now the question is this...I go a lone, do I ignore them, or play the vivacious, playful, got-it-together XW and smile and wave at them...maybe slipping in a little wink only the XH is supposed to see?

BTW, just to give you an idea of what I plan to wear. First let me say, that I look the best I have ever looked in my entire life right now. I am healthy, I am physically fit, and I am about a good 15 pounds less than OW and about 6 dress sizes smaller than her. I am wearing something casual, but sexy. I have a new tattoo on my lower back that kinda falls below even the lowest waist band, and when visible, I get a lot of compliments on it. I thought a mini skirt with a halter style top that is open in the back. I don't want something too cheap looking, but rather classy but sexy. I work out 5 days a week, and I tan every other day. Any one have some suggestions on what to wear? Keep in mind that this is an outside wedding in July.

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<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> you sound fantastic!!!!!

How about something "Classic black"!

Don't forget to "oil" your legs (not too much) because that looks great, mostly when you have worked out and when you are tanned! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I wouldn't go out of my way to "ignore" them, remember, just stay "classy" with alot of style.
Give em a nice smile and say hi!

Don't "over react".

Holding back and just saying hi and giving a "soft & warm" smile will definately make you interesting. Your x is gonna have alot of things "swirling" through his head! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />
OW will too!!! She's going to have to "hold on to your x very tightly" ! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

take care
bb

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You are setting yourself up, Trinity. If you are going to this shindig imagining them seething in envy and jealousy...well, you are setting yourself up for a miserable time if they aren't.

One trick I've tried: imagine what you can GIVE at this party -- give to everyone. A smile, a kind word, a compliment. Give out as much as you can. Go with the idea of giving (and yes, look sexy and classy ... but imagining 20 single men drooling over you, especially with your ex nearby, is another set up for disappointment. If they do, fine; if they don't, position yourself so it doesn't matter. Have it NOT be what you are going for.)

That way you won't be disappointed if, say, H and OW are having a good day. They WILL have good days, you know -- and you don't want to be on their rollercoaster.

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opps

<small>[ June 15, 2004, 02:28 AM: Message edited by: blondblossom ]</small>

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