Dear Melody Lane,
I had one other thing that I wanted to address especially to you. I looked back at your info at the bottom of your posts and see that you have been married since April of 2000. You found out that your husband had been having an affair in October of that same year, if I read correctly. You have been posting here since April of 2001, and I am sure that you have helped a lot of people in that time. You said that you have been in recovery since October of 2000. I am glad for you.

Was this your second marriage? I am interested because in looking at several threads that you haved posted on, you usually ask whether or not the affair has been exposed. If it has not, you usually suggest "telling the world". I want you to know that I do think there is merit in that approach in some circumstances, but it is not advisable in EVERY circumstance.

Seeing that you had only been married for a few short months before discovering your husband's affair must have been horribly traumatic, and I certainly understand that in your case, you may have found that exposure was the route to take.

Please remember that I had been pretty happily married for nearly 31 years when my husband's affair began. We have a history together. We have a family. We have dreams. We have goals.
We want to stay together, and I am beginning to realize how "Pollyanna-ish" my views of marriage have been, thinking that if I kept a good attitude, that everything would always turn out wonderfully. I didn't factor the influence of other people, outside circumstances, health problems, death of loved ones (we had experienced the deaths of 5 family members within 6 months - One of my parents was amongst those, and my remaining parent had a catastrophic stroke 5 months later, which left them needing 24 hour care, for which I am responsible). That is part of what I was talking about when I spoke of the fact that unless you really know the people involved, and the circumstances surrounding them, you may not get a true picture. I feel somewhat responsible for this. I have been so very hurt and angry over this that I have painted my husband as a real villain, but in reality, he is a good guy. An imperfect guy, yes. An imperfect pastor, yes. Do I destroy him for this one indescretion? Or do I forgive him and move on with our lives? That is what I have chosen to do.

I do NOT say this in any attempt to hurt you, but I do wonder if there is some reason that you seem so intent on seeing me expose this now that it is over and done with? Do you wish me to take revenge? If I feel that I have taken the Biblical approach, then that is all that I can do for now. If, God forbid, my husband and this young WOMAN should continue to call each other, then that is certainly a different matter, but as for now, after MUCH prayer, I feel a peace about my decision. Can you understand that, Melody? I ask this tenderly, without anger.

I do know that we hold pastor's up to a higher standard, and so we should, but we cannnot forget that they are human. If his deacon board would not accept his resignation (he did offer it), then if there is no continuance of this sin, I feel comfortable with NOT exposing this to our entire congregation.

This has been the hardest thing that I have ever faced. Harder than the death of loved ones. Harder than taking care of my aged parent. Harder than dealing with my health problems.
However, the reward for this hard work will be great. I am already seeing that.

My husband is back at home. We will no doubt have a rough road ahead, but we'll be traveling it together.

I wish the best for you and your husband, and know that you will continue to be a help to the hurting people who come here for help, guidance, and a kind word.

Marie

Dear Pepper,
You may be right, but the dumb, weird one wasn't my husband. I'm the bright one who came up with the offer to help her. I can't seem to get past the fact that this was our daughter's friend before this junk began...

You know I thought that I hated her. Can't say I LIKE her, even now, but I do feel sorry for her. She is warped, and I want to save the NEXT family.
Now that you mention it though, perhaps the help should not come from us. He hasn't made the call yet, and I'm sure he will agree with you ( he is compassionate because of his part in this, and wants to do the "right" thing, now). I didn't really see the connection until you pointed it out. Thanks

Originally posted by MARIE ELENA1:

I'm the bright one who came up with the offer to help her.

Slap yourself.... DUMB idea!!!

I can't seem to get past the fact that this was our daughter's friend before this junk began...

So what!

You know I thought that I hated her. Can't say I LIKE her, even now, but I do feel sorry for her.

I don't care what your feelings are .... it is a dangerous situation to help her again....

PS.... you're welcome.

Pep

Hey there ME,

As a person who was preyed upon by a minister, I can tell you it does more damage to a church...but especially to the young girl. I have a hard time believing ANY minister after being lied to and preyed upon.

And about exposing to the world? Who says they don't already know...or at least the rumors are flying, and they just don't make it to your ears. Yep, I'll bet the OW hasn't been quiet... So by being quiet makes you look like you condone the behavior, or that you have no clue to what is going on in your household.

You have heard some pretty honest statements on here, and you seem to have an excuse for not exposing...yeah, your situation is different. Let me tell you what happened in OUR church when our minister's 'indiscretions' (yes, plural) were made semi-public...all people who knew what was going on were brought into a room, promised not to tell anyone, and then he was moved on to another church... I enjoy going to church, but have a hard time trusting the leadership...this is bringing up triggers for me, I was 17 at the time, and I see the same attitude continuing.

What you're hearing on here is uncomfortable, especially ML's words, but they are the MB-way. Your words to discredit ML were a defense to protect yourself from your H's consequences. How bad would you look if the congregation found out? How bad do you look now?

ME! i'm very glad for your recent posts here and i feel like you have clarified things very well so now that I'm comfortable w/the plan you have chosen to take w/the exposure w/the church (not that you needed my approval) roman's instruction i also agree was the most biblical and appropriate for your situation.

i still have a couple of things though. i do think that this girl should probably leave the church if the deacons do not want your H to resign. so i'm more inclined to feel that they are the ones that need to ask her to leave and not your H. as far as the paying for her counseling, i think you have good intentions but this is not for you and your H's place to do. i think it would just prolong things, re-inforce the reason she came to your H in the first place, i don't think she would take you up on the offer anyway, i don't think that this would be according to God's will. just continue to pray for her, which is really the best thing anyone can do for her and God will let you know how long you should do that for.

you are beginning to be a real salt and light and yes God will continue to bless you for this here and in eternity. yes, this is a "rough road" but God has cleared the path for us and given us what we need to walk it. he didn't promise it would be easy or fast but that he went ahead of us and is w/us all the way. you've got the right attitude and the majority of that consists of the attitude of prayer. i think you have turned this thread around and truly have taken in what we have all said and prayed and again, i feel that there is some peace w/you about this and i am comfortable w/it. again, not that i need to be comfortable w/it but you get what i mean <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

take care and check in when you can, prayers to you, God Bless, RR

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If his deacon board would not accept his resignation (he did offer it), then if there is no continuance of this sin, I feel comfortable with NOT exposing this to our entire congregation.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Was the deacon board told the truth or did he lie to them too?

Marie Elena, the reason I say expose is NOT because of my personal experiences, [I never exposed his affair] but because it is the Biblical and historical standard and it is what Dr Harley also recommends.

In your case, it is even more critical because your H is unfit to be a pastor and should be removed. He has a greater responsibility than others. A pastor who preys on his parishioners is a danger to the church. And maybe the church elders might decide differently, but they should have the right to make that decision. As it is, this pertinent information is being withheld from them.

He has an even greater responsibility to society than a civilian so it is even more important that he be exposed.

1 Tim 5:20
19Do not entertain an accusation against an elder unless it is brought by two or three witnesses. 20Those who sin are to be rebuked publicly, so that the others may take warning.

This is the standard in most churches. Pastors who are in a state of fallen grace are removed from office and this is Biblical.

Do you remember the uproar when it was discovered that the Catholic Church had covered for many pedophile priests? I don't think anyone would ever say that they should be left in place "because no one is perfect."

Of course none of the pedophile priests are perfect, but that does not mean that a person who is in sexual sin is fit to serve. They should be removed. And I would bet that the board of your church would agree if they weren't being lied to by you and your H.

The Bible is real clear about who is qualified to pastor a church and who is not:

1 Timothy 3


Overseers and Deacons

1Here is a trustworthy saying: If anyone sets his heart on being an overseer,[1] he desires a noble task. 2Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. 5(If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church?) 6He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. 7He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil's trap.
8Deacons, likewise, are to be men worthy of respect, sincere, not indulging in much wine, and not pursuing dishonest gain. 9They must keep hold of the deep truths of the faith with a clear conscience. 10They must first be tested; and then if there is nothing against them, let them serve as deacons.
11In the same way, their wives[2] are to be women worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.
12A deacon must be the husband of but one wife and must manage his children and his household well. 13Those who have served well gain an excellent standing and great assurance in their faith in Christ Jesus.

<small>[ June 02, 2004, 08:18 PM: Message edited by: MelodyLane ]</small>

Marie, I just want to add that this little lie will come out. Her parents will find out and the church members will find out. It is ludicrous to think that a 23 year old girl will keep this secret. They love to chatter to all their girlfriends.

I believe the only reason it has been kept under wraps this long is because your H has stayed in contact and she doesn't want to jeopardize that.

Once he really ends contact, she will have no motive to keep his secret. Just think of the power this young girl has over your H and his career?

I hope she is a judicious, discreet girl because y'all have bet the farm on her discretion, a pretty risky bet if you ask me.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by MARIE ELENA1:
<strong> Her parents do not attend our church. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This made me go back to your earlier posts, because I was certain that you may have contradicted yourself.

April 14, you wrote: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=37;t=027830#000000

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> “My OW situation is complicated by the fact that her family also attends our church, and if she leaves, it will surely cause many questions.”
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">But this led me further into your story again. Marie Elena, you have heard from some of the most experienced posters on this board. You should take a hard look again at those that you either disagree with, or chose not to answer altogether.

There’s a few basic facts that you have provided that I feel are most relevant to your situation, as follows:

D-Day #1 was Nov 25, 2003 when your 2 daughters confronted him, he confessed, and continued to see OW - until

D-Day #2 just before Christmas, when they discovered a note left by him on the OW's car. He confessed again to continued contact.

D-Day #3 was mid January, when your D confronted the OW herself and threatened exposure, and scared her half to death. This EXPOSURE got your H to finally confess to you Marie Elena.

D-Day #4 was May 31, that’s 6 months after initial exposure, that you discovered continued contact from Jan 15 – mid April.

What concerns me just a bit, is that you are continuing to set yourself up for more and more false recoveries.

You also said:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> “If this emotional affair had been part of a pattern, or if he were un-repentant, or whatever, that would change the dynamics of this circumstance.”
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">And therein lies the concerns – this is not just another EA, it moved past that to the PA, and there is a clear pattern of continued contact. The power of exposure in your situation should be considered carefully.

Your H is finally home, to face these realities. As far as the NC plans, you should be there to witness them every step of the way. Your job right now is to be vigilant, and leave nothing to chance. He's back in the same town as the OW again. Make sure he at least gets the little tramp out of your church.

I can't say I'm surprised at your decision ME.

But, I side with ML on this one - not because it's something she's said - but because Paul is very clear in his instructions to the church in regards to leadership. It really doesn't matter if your husband is repentant. It doesn't really matter if you find it in your heart to forgive this girl.

The fact of the matter is your husband is the shepherd of the flock. He has proven to be untrustworthy. It doesn't matter that it started out with him trying to help.

Sin not faced is often sin recomitted. I know you'll say he is facing it. He is repenting. You will work on it together. But there is still an aura secrecy. The flock doesn't know. As a pastor, he does not have the luxury of keeping anything like that hidden.

Of course, regardless of my opinion, I know God is working with you and your husband. I pray that he give you both the courage to do what will have to be done - and that you won't have to face it like my associate pastor did.

God bless,
Seeking_More

No contradiction - her sister, and her sister's husband do attend. Her parents do not. I guess I did not specify that it was her sister and brother - in - law.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I called my husband, and he admitted that he had called her, also. Upon my pleading for complete honesty, he also admitted that they had been telling each other "I love you" right through that last call. That means, my dears, that all of my starry eyed posts of this last week, giving advice to all who would listen, etc. etc. were laughable! There's no fool like an old fool. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Okay, ME, it's been a long day, and a full moon, and in the mid-90s ... but I'm a little confused by the above passage, in light of your new info.

In my last post, I was responding to you as I would respond to myself. I sense in you the same capacity for self-deception I have -- and when the chips are down, to spin information and manipulate, as a means of giving oneself the illusion of control. I've had to work hard against these tendencies in myself.

Can't say I know what's what in your sitch -- but beware of yourself, and what you want to believe. It can be dangerous.

ME! this thread has gone beyond MB into what we expect of the people in leadership positions.
As a wife and mother, this has to be very hard for you. You want to protect your family from public humilitation.
People become cynical and untrusting when a leader apoligizes after being 'caught'. IMHO, we tend to believe and forgive much easier when someone comes out and says 'I messed up, please forgive me.'
At this point, it sounds like you're allowing your future to be held in the hands of a 23-year-old young woman. One who sounds quite manipulative and not phsycologically sound. Quite possibly, she enjoys the power she holds in these games she is playing and is too young to fully understand the impact of what she had done or will do.
I'm not trying to be an alarmist, scaring you or adding to your worries. I just wonder if your H has considered going before his congregation and confessing in a way that allows him to hold on to some dignity but also show that he is truly sorry for his mistake. Most sincere believers don't want details. They want to know that this man they trust to guide them also trusts and values them. Your daughters have been through a great deal with this A. Publically apoligizing would be a hard thing to do but could also be a great beginning to healing. I think people(maybe even your daughters) would see this as a coming from a strong person, strong in their belief in forgiveness and the power to forgive. If the A is truly over and he is truly repentant, I would think this would be a way to come out of it and still hold some of the respect of those in his church. Waiting for things to leak out through the grapevine of gossip is the worst.
I appreciate your clearing some things up in your earlier post. Exposure is hard and I do believe in starting with the closest circle first. Unfortunately, a person living a public life has a larger circle that most. Especially for a pastor, a pastor has people who trust him for guidance in so many important parts of their lives. I know the pastor of our church is someone we all love dearly. We also know and understand he is human. He is the first to tell you his quirks and shortcomings. It doesn't make us love him less. Instead, we relate to him better because we understand he doesn't believe he is better than us in any way, just one of us.
Prayers are with you through this.

first of all, the amount/type/timing of exposure is not necessarily recommended by the harley's. ML, how can you possibly speak for dr. harley? we can only guess to what he would say given the MB concepts, etc. Steve Harley told me that additional exposure by me in my case would not be helpful or effective and would probably be harmful. i discussed this at great length because i didn't want to leave any stone unturned and if more exposure could turn my M around then i would do it. so unless ME talks to one of the harley's and get's their opinion i don't think we can safely say what someone else would say about her situation. yes, there are great similarities amongst these situations but there are also great differences.

i still don't think that her H "preyed" upon this girl. i also wouldn't be surprised as to how many people in the church already knew, and again that's kind of where i have a problem is that if some people know and your H hasn't repented publicly then who knows what they are thinking now. i would not discredit the fact that someone who has gone through what your H has would not maybe in time be an even better pastor BECAUSE of what he has gone through and been able to help others (but maybe not at this church).

ME! you can see my response to your plan yesterday, however, given the timeline above i am beginning to wonder about things more. you know, if you don't ever post here again it will be okay, because God has a plan for you, he has one for all of us, and his will can be done if we post here or not. so you are turning it over to the Lord, always a safe bet. i would be interested to find out the course of action and final outcome of what the deacons come to.

as always, prayers to you, RR

The pastors affair with the young church member lasted 7 months....

If I were a member of this church.... during that 7 month period...

and this pastor had performed a marriage of one of my children .... during that 7 month period...

I would feel the ceremony had been dirtied by the sin of the pastor....his disrespect for marriage while officiating a marriage .... ugh!

if I had been in close counseling with that pastor... he had advided me in Biblical Ways .... during that 7 month period.... I would feel betrayed.

If his wife knew about the affair and helped cover it up to the church community ... I would resent her as well.

That's just me.

Pep

roughroad, every situation is different, however, this situation most certainly does call for exposure. I don't advocate exposure because I am the exposure parrot or because Harley advocates exposure but because it is right. It is the Biblical standard. Because of the nature of his obligation to his flock it is even MORE imperative. He is accountable to a group of people and to God.

The pastor who desires the office of leadership should be blameless. If he is not “blameless” presently, then he is disqualified. If in some way, he has subjected himself to some scandalous sin, then he is no longer blameless and the office is forfeited.

Now, that doesn't mean that his board might decide to keep him if he showed true repentence, but they can't make that decision as long as he continues to LIE and deceive them. [which shows no genuine repentence]

There simply is no reason to NOT tell them except for selfish personal reasons and to enable him to continue his affair. There is absolutely no good reason to continue to withhold this information. The reasons ME give are all selfish, personal reasons which give no thought to the people they serve.

His personal life is absolutely CRUCIAL to his ability to lead others. He is accountable to his flock and he cannot lead them if he cannot lead himself. How can he ever teach about marital fidelity with this lie on his conscience? How can he ever preach about honesty with unconfessed, unrepentent LIES on his conscience? Of course he can't unless he wants to add hypocrisy to the mix.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">i still don't think that her H "preyed" upon this girl. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I don't see how it could be viewed any other way. This man has a whole life's worth of experience and wisdom and this is a girl who is barely out of her teen years. This man had an additional obligation, a vow to God, to lead a member of his flock to God, not to his bed.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Pepperband:
<strong> The pastors affair with the young church member lasted 7 months....

If I were a member of this church.... during that 7 month period...

and this pastor had performed a marriage of one of my children .... during that 7 month period...

I would feel the ceremony had been dirtied by the sin of the pastor....his disrespect for marriage while officiating a marriage .... ugh!

if I had been in close counseling with that pastor... he had advided me in Biblical Ways .... during that 7 month period.... I would feel betrayed.

If his wife knew about the affair and helped cover it up to the church community ... I would resent her as well.

That's just me.

Pep </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I agree, Pep, and this is exactly why a pastor should be "blameless," according to biblical standards. A man who can't lead himself can't very well lead others. What is there left to preach about when you are living a lie? How can you ask others to uphold standards when you make a mockery of them in your personal life?

That is why exposure is so critical in the case of church leadership. Their personal behavior very much effects their leadership position. This isn't like some janitor, whose personal behavior has no effect on his job. This man is assigned the responsibily to LEAD others. And when he can not longer do that, he has abdicated his responsibilities.

And the affair was still going on, as far as she knows, until a few weeks ago when she caught him AGAIN and he AGAIN "confessed" and "repented" for about the 3rd or 4th time. From what I can tell, this has been going on for about a YEAR now.

Marie, how are you doing today? This thread is getting pretty deep. I hope that you will feel that the authors of these posts are showing concern in their own way. We do have different POV's and FOO's which helps us to see the thing from different angles. EDITING IN HERE; We all have our own histories (and hangups). Sometimes they show very well in what is posted.

Takes time to get recovery. What may seem many steps backward, can be less difficult steps back and easier steps forward. Sharing and keeping goals in sync with our spouse is important.

I consciously like to have all or as many facts as I can prior to deciding on a path that is important. Remembering always that even if a wrong path was chosen, that we can always pick the better path next. Hope for our best outcome is important. Recovery is happening when we work towards building this marriage together.

When I make my decisions on how to handle something important, I ask my self, "Self, what is the goal here?"....What is the best possible outcome we could hope for? And just work on at it.

You talked about many changes that have transpired in your life. Illnesses and deaths, and you and your H are still together. Even after what transpired with that OW, you and your H are together.

H/O is a goal. He ought to be telling you, and accounting for all time of his day. Is he doing this now? Accountability to you is essential. You need to be able to ask anything and he needs to answer you, whatever it is. He should wish for you to see that you can trust him and answer it for your sake, and your marriages sake.

If he digs in his heels on a sore issue, then you know it is a hot spot. Clues to ongoing affairs need to be caught and stopped with exposure.

What are the risks of not exposing? That will come out in due time if you let it happen that way. Meanwhile you can bounce as many questions and thoughts about this as you can think of here.

Are you attending MC with your H?

I wish you the best, and pray that you will have good recovery.

PS, Do NOT pay for anything for that OW! Already she is in another affair with the boss? NC is a goal to fix part of your problem. Another thought is to get a RO(restraining order), if she is continuiing to be in your face. She is not ever going to be a friend to you or your family. When you look at this clearly, she never ever was your friend or your daughters, and not your H friend. She is merely a "homewrecker" in the true meaning of that word. Old enough to know right from wrong...

EDITING here: I do not agree with the throwing of stones at the pastor here. "let he who is without sin cast the first stone". Ministers are human. And there is no such human as a blameless human. Sorry if I sounded like I agreed with those statements. We do not know the entire story, and the situation is hard enough that we ought not to compound it.

Back to the original story. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

<small>[ June 03, 2004, 11:38 AM: Message edited by: cardinal ]</small>

ML, Pep, cardinal, sounds better when it comes from you guys, guess i need to stay out of it.

Dear Melody Lane,
As I have REPEATEDLY told you, my husband did NOT LEAD THIS GIRL INTO HIS BED. My word! No wonder people are jumping onto your bandwagon!

My husband admitted to kissing this girl. He kissed her perhaps 10 times within a 7 month period. I do believe this.

His "relapse" was to call her after January 15th. Actually, this began with his returning her calls. He did not see her alone ever again.
This "relapse" (my word) was confined to talking on the phone with her several (approximately a dozen) times. The important thing to me about this is that HE stopped his behavior without being found out. He made an appointment with our therapist and confessed it, asking her whether or not he should tell me. She told him that I was in too fragile a state emotionally to deal with it at that time. I was to have been told this coming week at our next appointment, but I discovered it on my own.

His appointment with her was nearly 8 weeks ago. Since then there has been no contact.

I am going to have to stop coming to this site for a while. It is not a matter of not hearing what I "want" to hear. It is simply too hard to deal in generalities any more.

With all due respect, you have never walked in my shoes. You can read all of the books in the world, have spent countless hours in couseling, and even have the best of intentions on being helpful, but still, you do not know what is going on in my head and heart. You do not know me, nor do you know my husband, or for that matter, you do not know the 24 year old "barely out of her teens, child". Frankly, that statement made me laugh. She is NO CHILD, and she knows right from wrong. She is evil, however, in my humble opinion. I have tried to, in some ways, find excuses for her- her age, etc., but I keep coming back to this. She knew that I was completely devestated by this, it was "over", there had been no contact in over a month, and she again began calling him. His return calls to her began because she was in some ways using emotional blackmail in that she made him fear that she was going to disclose this. He finally came to this conclusion and realized that he was about to slide down that slippery slope again, but he brought it to an end. That is what I am hanging on to, and coming to this site and reading your posts is beginning to cause me to obsess again. I know that I am not emotionally well at this time, and this has become unhealthy for me.

So, I bid you farewell.

I will miss getting to read the posts from Cardinal, Roughroad, Recovering H, MTHEART, Tere234, Roman121 and others, though. They, while being honest and blunt at times, were still kind. They helped me alot throughout these past two months, and I want to say thank you to them.

To all of the others who contributed to my threads, some of you said some thought provoking things, and they helped me in some ways, too. I also thank you.

This was a blessing to me when I found this website, because I really had no one else to talk to. For that, I will always be grateful.

Later, I will check back in with some of you and tell you how this adventure ended. I am hoping and praying for a "happily ever after".

Goodbye, Dear Ones,
Marie

ME! you can email me at chewey75@hotmail.com if you would like some time (just make sure to put marie elena in the subject line). God knows everything, he knows our hearts, and knows what his plans are for us. I had a feeling that you might need to leave the forums for awhile and i think God has laid that on your heart as well. i have thought about this several times myself.

God speed and prayers to you. RR