Well,redhat and everybody else I don´t intend to offend anyone either but if you put your kids first after divorce and your possible future partner will put his/her kids first too NONE OF YOU WILL HAVE A CHANCE TO SUCCEED IN A NEW RELATIONSHIP!

Kids will leave their parents sooner or later and some of them may never be even grateful that we sacrifice our life/happiness for them.

I am 100% that my marriage will work this time as long as both my husband and I have the same oppinion about being parents.

If our exes are trying to prove they are better parents than we are,then we let them play their own game.And if they are better it´s great as well.

I´m afraid they can never enjoy their life without the right partners as adults need other adults´love not only their kids´love.And I think from your discussions I realized WHY our exes make problems continously:THEY NEED SOMETHING MORE THAN THEIR KIDS`LOVE and they are jealous we realized it BEFORE THEM!!!!

They didn´t stop their dirty game even though WE DIDN`T PLAY BACK!HOW CAN NORMAL PEOPLE BEHAVE SO???? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

And no,my husband and I didn´t know each others before but our exes had common acquaintances due to their former jobs.

I don´t know how to explain this in English(as we do not live in an English speaking country) but we have 50% custody even the kids live with our exes.In other words our exes cannot take any decision concerning kids without our approval.It is called here "shared custody".

Thank you again everyone I think I know now better what to do in this situation.

<small>[ October 07, 2004, 01:28 PM: Message edited by: we_need_help ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by we_need_help:
<strong> .... NONE OF YOU WILL HAVE A CHANCE TO SUCCEED IN A NEW RELATIONSHIP!</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"></strong>

No you won't offend me. I have a very thick face. Listen, you could have both. I know there are women out that put kids first before their own. Those women are the one that I will date <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> and both of us know that we would never make our partner to choose ... we know the answer <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> . How is your relation works for you ?

We have the same custody arrangement here in US. There is Physical Custody and there is Legal Custody. What you have is visitation right but small or none Physical Custody ... plus 50-50% Legal Custody.

The question is still stand ... how you loose physical custody in the first place ?

Your story is common. I am not tyring to defend your ex'es but I try to put myself on their shoes. If I have 100% Physical Custody and my exW trying to dictate and/or exercise their 50% Legal Custody, I would resent it too. It is not fair, I think anyone who has 100% PC should have 100% LC.

Could I ask what are you going to do next ?

-rh-

<small>[ October 07, 2004, 05:10 PM: Message edited by: redhat ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">some of them may never be even grateful that we sacrifice our life/happiness for them.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">They are not supposed to be grateful!! Your children did not ask to be born. You should be grateful that you are lucky enough to have them.