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#1195497 10/12/04 08:10 PM
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I agree, Coach. The disparity between the few very rich and the huge number of very poor, and the disappearance of the middle class poses a huge threat to the health of the American political system.

I have six kids, two of whom are adults, and one in college. My kids buy most of their own non-essential items. Moving out of state would be very difficult, as I would have to get a judge's approval. I spent a long time trying to locate within the state, and found that house prices really did not vary as much as I expected. You can either live within 40 miles of the capital, or within commuting distance of the huge concentration of colleges, or in the Berkshires. Nowhere is it cheap. It is extremely rare to see a house on the market for less than $300,000 anywhere near where I live.

#1195498 10/12/04 08:23 PM
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Nellie -

I hope you don't take our suggestions as meaning that we think you are not being thrifty. I raised my kids alone for the first 12 years, and I know what a constant struggle it is. It's very, very hard.

If your husband only sees your kids once a month and is not working, maybe the court would let you move. That is the only thing that I can see that would permit you to raise your standard of living.

There are a lot of federal jobs - check out the navy website www.donhr.navy.mil. You can put your resume on, and check out the places you could go.

#1195499 10/13/04 12:08 AM
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Saw a TV program over here in the UK tonight which described how a couple who do not work and who have eight kids have a state benefit income of £37000 ($55000). Their house and car are also free and state provided as are their utility bills.

So in the UK having lots of children seems to be a fairly sensible career choice.... not many of the working slobs I know have $55k left after tax however many children they have.....

Just a coment to say that stuffs odd over in the UK too.

#1195500 10/13/04 07:45 AM
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Nellie1 Offline OP
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I've heard horror stories about people who were not allowed to move even an hour away, because it was to a different state. I don't have much hope that a judge would let me move. My H does see the kids weekly for dinner. Most weekends he is too "busy" to have them visit.

It seems to be almost impossible to raise children in this country on one income, and I know it is far worse when you have to pay for day care as well.

#1195501 10/14/04 12:46 AM
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Nellie1,

None of us could bring the kids out from Bay Area (must livin' within 6 counties only) w/o court approval. Even exW & I would agreed and allow it to happen, we would violate the divorce decree. It is terrible but that was one of the bargaining chip that I gave up. But I love livin' here and won't move anywhere else. In your case ... the judge would allow you to move out of state as long as for the best interest of the kids. Better paying job for you, better schools for the kids, closer to relatives, and so on. I wouldn't discount that possiblities ... H is a weekend dad anyway and I assume that he doesn't go to school/kid's activities either. So H could be a holiday dad and the court most likely would grant you.

It takes a village to save M and it takes communities to raise childeren. Ask around, people are willingly to help out ... most people feel it is a privilege to be able to help you out. On the nite that I went to school, I ask for help to bring my 2D home from practice.

Yes, it is hard to raise a kid by yourself anywhere but it is even harder if you have no family/relative that live close by to help out <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Again managing your career is the key to earning good wages.

-rh-

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