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Hello all, I have some problems. Alcoholism runs on both sides of my family. Had always avoided it if I could because of that. Here is my story. One year into recovery, I have major stomach issues. Turns out I have acid reflux. Anyhoo, the doctor I went to ordered a upper GI series 3 years ago. They could find nothing worng with me. I was vomiting etc. Major Pain. My father had ulcers, bleeding ulcers, you name it. So, the doc says, well, can't find anything wrong. He knows of H affair, my breakdown etcetc.Must have thought it was psychosomatic. So he says, have some wine with your meals. I feel so stupid. This should have been a huge red flag. So now, 3 years later, I am truely struggling with alcohol. I am on a permanent prescription for acid reflux. I was given antidepressants by current Dr for depression. He said I was self medicating. Have had ad's before. This time they just made me lose all feeling for everything, did not help my problem. I quit them, 1 year ago. They did not help my drinking problem. I did get the alcohol monster on a leash, but lately it has gotten the better of me. Please do not suggest AA. I just am too private, whatever to be in that situation. I have prayed. I don't want to be here. Anyone have any suggestions? This just all crept up on me. My H is angry and worried. He never will let me talk about my insecurities about the A. Not an option, however, a problem for me. No outlet, just stuff it. I know this is complicated. Sorry <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> Love in Christ, Miss M
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Miss M,
I know exactly what you are talking about as I too have a problem with wine. My dad and several different relatives in my family were alcoholics so I know all too well the gene runs in my family too.
What has worked for me in the past is to make sure I am busy until I go to sleep. Right now I am off the wagon so not practicing what I preach, but I know it works.
For instance, I like to get on a treadmill or gazelle machine after work. I can not do this if I have a glass of wine first. It means enough to me that I will not drink when I want to work out. I take lots of walks also, when ever I want a glass of wine I will take a walk or go shovel snow. Always feel good after.
My problem is right after work, once those couple of hours have passed me by I can usually make it through the night if I have some good books to read, or a hobby to work on and watch T.V. with. Such as crocheting.
Also after work when I find myself wanting a glass of wine if I schedule something with my daughter such as going to the movie, or the stores,doing our nails, just anything that she will look forward to because I won't let her down, so I will not drink before or during those times.
For me the key is staying busy with things I like to do during my weakest hours. It's a tough habit to break, and tougher if you truly have the complex physiological disease of alcoholism. If that is the case then you can never drink again, because it is a physiological disease which means your body, and I mean every cell in your body develops a need for it. You absolutely cannot function with out, but then you get to the point where you can't function with it. Your body cannot tolerate it but needs it. Bad sh*t alcohol for the alcoholic.
But you know which type of alcoholic you are, and only you know that. Try what I am suggesting with the scheduling activities you like during the bad hours so you can not drink.
In either case, God is really the only one who can give you the strength to beat this.
Bless you,
weaver
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Miss M,
I also wanted to say, and I don't know your financial sitch or obligations, but there are a lot of good private clinics that you can check into for a few weeks.
This to me would be the best avenue if it is do-able. If your husband is supportive and you are agreeable, I think it would be well worth exploring.
Maybe some others on here know of good places if you are interested. I know of one place I took my dad to in Ann Arbor, Michigan. It was not like a normal re-hab clinic where court-ordered's go. It was catered more to people who resembled his social status.
In fact if my mom hadn't died at the time he went, I really think it was the one place which was going to work for him. But of course can't say for sure.
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<small>[ November 29, 2004, 09:23 AM: Message edited by: marriage isn't forever? ]</small>
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One more thing (sorry)
If you are an alcoholic and not just a self-medicator who has gotten herself into a bad habit, then there is a drug you can take every morning which if you drink you become violently ill. So much so that people who take it will not drink.
My dad used it once he left the clinic up until my mom's death and he was adament about taking it every day, and therefore did not drink. So I know it has merrit.
MIF -
You start doing things which are not conducive to drinking, such as physical activity. Get a punching bag, take up jogging, start a new project but stop get a handle on this before you are in real trouble. You hear??????
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Thank you weaver, You are right on the mark. My youngest moved out 3 months ago, and I have no reason to not drink, as I did then. Thank you so much for your advice. I will be doing better soon I hope. I have no money for any clinics, etc, as I am the main bread winner and cannot afford time off work. We are sinking as it is due to our 'soft' careers, which depend on the economy. I live in Washington state, hardest hit since 9/11. MIF, hon, try to keep it on a leash, cut down, please? If you are a group person, try AA. You are not helping yourself. HAHA, I know I am the pot calling the kettle black <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> Should we start an accountability thread? Thank you once again for your replies. I truely have no other resources as I just work and come home and deal if you know what I mean. Love to you all, you are the best, and we are all WORTHY!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Love in Christ, Miss M
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Oops, wrong thread.
<small>[ November 28, 2004, 07:04 PM: Message edited by: weaver ]</small>
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<small>[ November 29, 2004, 09:24 AM: Message edited by: marriage isn't forever? ]</small>
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Weaver,
The drugs name is disulfiram(Antabuse). It works very well IF some one else is responsible for giving the daily dose.Hopefully find someone qualified to treat but an FP can monitor. Hope this helps.
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Cymanca, Thank you for the info. I know my H would be more than willing to administer the meds. Will ask my FP if he is up for this. Thanks again. MIF? Please get a handle on this rather that WAITING for a time that you feel you can get a grip on this monster, it may be too late by then. Pray and pray, as I will for you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Anyone else? All opinions appreciated. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Love in Christ, Miss M
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Cymanca, Thank you for the info. I know my H would be more than willing to administer the meds. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Will ask my FP if he is up for this. Thanks again. MIF? Please get a handle on this rather than WAITING for a time that you feel you can get a grip on this monster, my fear for you is that it may be too late by then. Pray, and pray some more, as I am for you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Anyone else? All opinions appreciated. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Love in Christ, Miss M
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<small>[ November 29, 2004, 09:25 AM: Message edited by: marriage isn't forever? ]</small>
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Miss M--so sorry to hear this is causing you problems again.
I'm on meds for acid reflux too. Take them twice a day whether I need them or not the Dr says. The stomach's better but when I decide to have a few drinks,I have major problems. So that sort of curbed my drinking (I was a vodka or gin drinker, not wine).
I was on ADs for a year, quit for a year, and then about 3-4 mos ago went back on them. Any loss of feeling was nothing compared to the agony of depression-not being able to enjoy anything or be anything. I tried drinking too--but I'm not a "happy" drunk during this period. So I prefer ADs to drinking although I still take an occasional drink.
I understand how you feel about not being able to discuss the A even after all this time and how it leaves a hole in your heart. I know you don't have a lot of time to do for you, with work and all. But even 15 minutes to pamper yourself a little (no wine, now) and a good nights sleep can work wonders.
Keep posting-you know we all just want to help if we can.
{{{{{Miss M}}}}}
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Miss M:
Please do not suggest AA. I just am too private, whatever to be in that situation.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">sorry ... what is more important to you ... sobriety or privacy?
Go to an AA meeting as an observer. If you want to ... go to a "women's only" meeting...
If you have never been ---> you have no idea how wonderful the support is.
You are asking the board for help inappropriately. Go online to an AA support board... that way you can protect your "privacy".
Pep
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Miss M, </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Please do not suggest AA. I just am too private, whatever to be in that situation. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Ditto what pep says. By the way, AA is filled with people who said the same thing ( at first) There are people who stay sober ( or dry) with out AA, but most do not. There is AA online and you can get unlimited access the Grapevine magazine, or in booklet form. It's like a meeting in print. I have been sober for 12 years, so I've seen and heard just about anything and everything. It's a life problem, not just alcohol. So, It's your life your talking about - don't let excuses get in the way of getting help. Email me if you like & we can talk if you want to. D. <small>[ November 30, 2004, 09:47 PM: Message edited by: WillGetThruThis ]</small>
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by WillGetThruThis:
<strong> It's a life problem, not just alcohol. So, It's your life your talking about - don't let excuses get in the way of getting help. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Amen........
Before I walked through the doors of AA/NA I would of never labeled myself one of "those" people. You know them harley riders with tattoo's. Heck I'm a professional man with a good job and leader in my church.
But for me, it came down to a choice. In a moment of sanity, I had the choice to die or join my brothers and sisters in sobriety. I chose to live. So now I go to "those" meetings and sit next to the Doctor, State Representative, Business Owner, Welder, Mechanic, and share my story with the hope that my experience will help someone stay sober that day.
Humbleness and humanity, two lessons I learned through Christ but forgot in life, thank you AA/NA for the reminder.
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Miss M ((((((((hugs)))))))))))
I see that this has become bigger then we had last spoken about it ...
Ya know I love ya and never rough you up girl(2x4) cushion comimg ...
Stuffing and not making time for yourself is a problem within itself ... and is allowing you to use alcohol as your escape ..
YOu already know that .
AA is your option if this problem is out of control, I get the no time thing work all the time ,, but there are meetings and sponsers all the time RIGHT ? (BIL is recovering 20yrs)
YOU have to find a support , others to talk to .
YOU ahve to talk to your H as well ..
MM do not hand me any crap about this , you know how I feel , YOU need to talk about your feeling, insecurities , I don't care how but you need to get it out ....
Even if you feel like he is a brick wall ,,, talk about it ... let it out . I know I come off as weird to people about the say what ever is on your mind thing BUT it keeps ya alot more sane and healthy !
STUFFING ANY PROBLEM comes out in other detructive ways !!!!!
You are admitting there is a problem right?
So as they say thats the first step .
YOUR private I know that , get your H involved with this ask him to go with you . If he is that concerned then he will attend meeting with you . He will suppot you getting help .
You keep busy as suggested , find a hobby ,, even if its reading about the affects of alcohol...
Dive into this ,, your own words my dear .....
YOU ARE WORTHY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3 out , (e-mail if need ) I am praying for ya always .
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Thank you all for your replies. I appreciate each and everyone of them. I am doing good! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Sorry pepperband, that this subject is inappropriate, however, the issue is post affair related. I never gave a timeline as to when this all started. Let's drop it now, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> I will check out AA. I have stopped drinking since I posted this thread. Love in Christ, Miss M
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NO I will not drop it , there is no reason why you can't talk about it and seek suggestions and guidence here .
Your H had an A and thats also partly what some of this is about ..
Stop stuffing things . There are alot of people here who can /will/ and do have some suggestions for you ... So post away women !
even if its to encourage you , and know there sre others with you ... that is why you should post .
I think alot of BS may have dove into the bottle alot while going through A and after !
Some may stop after the hard spots but some might have continued not realizing they have a problem or are using it to still run from problems .
thinking of ya !
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Miss M: Sorry pepperband, that this subject is inappropriate, however, the issue is post affair related. I never gave a timeline as to when this all started. Let's drop it now, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> I will check out AA. I have stopped drinking since I posted this thread</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> The discussion of alcohol on MB is not inappropriate ... seeking help here for an alcohol problem is like walking into an ice-cream parlor and asking where they keep the hammer, nails and saw you need to complete a home remodeling project!... oops, wrong place to shop! Imagine for a minute.... you are reading a new thread on MB and the poster asks for YOUR help with a cocain addiction... What advice would you give? ... "Ummm... read the Harley concepts and make a list of the EN's fullfilled by snorting coke." .... NAW! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> You'd say ... call in an expert in that area because it is important to get experts involved when there are serious issues. I love my alcoholic husband !!! He's been sober for almost 9 years and AA has changed his life. He sponsors many men ... and his personal growth has exceeded mine by a long shot! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Pep
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