OK, Bob, you asked for it. EDIT TO READ: Thought I would start my own thread to answer, rather than TJ.
My W's mother is slowly fading from our sight. We hope she lasts through the holidays. Hospice comes in now to help. They are fantastic. We still go up on the weekends.
On Oct 1 my 26 year old son from a previous marriage was hit by a SUV while walking on the sidewalk at 2:30 AM looking for a girls house. SUV jumped the curb and knocked him out of his shoes and threw him 60 feet. He fractured the 5th vertebrae in his neck which they have since removed and fused with some hip bone to the 4th and 6th and ratcheted it all down with a titanium plate and four screws. He was in a three week coma and has severe brain trauma. He is now "waking up" in Craig Hospital in Denver, CO. Doctors figure he is 20% aware and awake. He is in a state of waking confusion. (aren't we all?)
He has a trach breathing tube in his neck and a feeding tube into his stomach. He is now vocalizing and also able to eat some food. Doctors think he will be there until 01/20/05. But he won't be walking out. He is not married. He has been enjoying life (maybe too much!)
So now we have drama with his mother who lives in Colorado and me in SoCal as to who best to take care of him for his continued rehabilitation which could be another 6 months to 2 years (?).
So we have been flying to Denver once a month for a week at a time to be with him and help him along.
Add another pound of stress. That is when I started the Lexipro. It has done wonders.
Still the saddest thing is the A. My son is getting better. Don't know about the M. She is doing all the right things except the SF. Still feels dirty and ashamed, so she can't participate...plus her mom and now my son. Just not to conducive to love making, as many here at MB have advised.
I have some blue days, but not as many or as severe.
So I take my AD's and fly to Denver once a month and go up to LA on the weekends to attend to MIL.
AND I NEVER WHINE OR BRING UP SF EVER!! I am being an angelic and patient MB boy.
And go day by day.
And come onto MB and offer my expert advice!
(When I should be working!!) [ December 01, 2004, 04:04 PM: Message edited by: krusht ]