Try to reach you but your VM is full ... hope you are doing fine.

-rh-

It's been 46 hours that I don't have sleep, Lately I am so down and still thinking about my wife. I think I love her so much and I just cant moved on. I let her do her own thing and I haven't seen my daughter since before christmas. I talked to her on the phone 3 times a day but haven't seen her. Sorry I cannot check my messages on my cell because I've been so down.

HATE LOVE,

I have been there and I did a lot of destructive thing to myself too. However the worst is not reaching out. You have peoples that concern about you, even strangers that you never meet in person. It is not clear right now but you are in a deep depression, I was there.

If you still love her ... what you are doing is not helping to fight for your M, it is the opposite. We can't help you if you don't want it.

Right now, think about your D ... her future at your hand. Her mom is deep in the fog, and where is her dad ?.

I 've told you to call any time and we could hang out to weather this out. No one is strong enough to do it alone. It was not b/c of freinds in MB I would not survive and strong as now. I was in the same boat 4 years ago.

At least get AD med call your doctor and get an emergency appointment. If you read my old post, I have to tell to the nurse about my wife A to get me to my doctor calendar that day. Stay away from booze and ladies friends (Erin has her own personal problems and you know better about the other one).

Your fight is very personal for me b/c I tried to help a MBer that walk the same path as you do now ... a year later, his exW want his back but he is too mess up and become WS himself and have OC. A will end, not now and not yet.

Help is all around you if you want to reach it or allow you to be reached. -rh-

First New Years Day alone, RH lets go out and drive around the city of san francisco. Me and my daughter spend 6 hours together to catch up what we missed on Christmas day. I just drop her off and she said she had fun, shopping, and being with DAD.

HATE LOVE,

k ... catch you later.

-rh-

REDHAT:

We made it, Happy New Year 2005 is my new year. forget the pain in 2004 lets try to be so happy. RH thanks for driving me around downtown san francisco and it's a good thing you didn't take the wrong street right beside Mission District hahahhaha <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> You know what I am talking about Happy New Year.

Everyone we made it all its new year 2005.