Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
#1254096 01/10/05 11:33 PM
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,743
K
KMEJ Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,743
Before H left for work this afternoon he made the request that I be in "something sexy- maybe that red lace piece" when he gets home tonight. SO I am on here trying to kill time, as H does not get off until after midnight and won't be home for half an hour after that. I get up at 5:30, and am really tired. Would it be a LB to not honor his request of waiting up for him in what he requested- as I have already had coffee, and it is not helping, or do you think I could pull off being "sleeping beauty"?- basically wear what he wants, but be asleep?

Yes I know this is a REALLY STUPID question, especially in the whole skeam of my relationship, and the enormacy of my problems, this is nothing- however it was still a request of his, and I am trying to do what is right. I really want to crawl into bed in my cute capri and tank top, and sleep~ however do not want to hurt his feelings. Suggestions please.

#1254097 01/10/05 11:35 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 135
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 135
For what it is worth, I admire you for even having an interest in satisfying his request. Something I have never gotten.

#1254098 01/10/05 11:55 PM
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 3,525
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 3,525
Hmmm,

For tonight, if you agreed to do this..then I think you should honor your own word.

In the future, I would give pause before agreeing, to consider whether it is doable.

In the future, if you have agreed, rather than kill time until he gets home, I would catnap from the time my kids went to bed until about 30 mins before he got home [to wake up and freshen up]. That'd give you about 4 hrs give or take and should not leave you overly tired.

I have done this many times, and those late night moments of undisturbed recreation are priceless. it's just a schedualing prob if both people are willing to make it so.

Noodle

#1254099 01/11/05 12:01 AM
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,743
K
KMEJ Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,743
That is a good point Noodle. And a good plan- little late now to impliment however. I did not agree to do it, he just left it as a suggestion, which I will try to honor. I recorded Las Vegas and will go watch it in a few minutes, and that should keep me awake hopefully until H gets home. I just took a shower to wake me back up, and to clean me up- however I put on the cute pink Capri Pants and Pink tank top- it is Minnesota ya know- it is COLD outside.... i will change later. Would candles be over the top? Do guys even like those? Anticipation- I tell ya- is have the fun.

#1254100 01/11/05 12:12 AM
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 3,525
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 3,525
Depends on the guy.

My H loves the set up..loves to be romanced.

Some would be irritated that they can't see you naked as well as they could with a 100 watt bulb directly overhead <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Could go either way. If he doesn't object, and candles make you feel good..then light em up.

Noodle

#1254101 01/11/05 12:34 AM
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
R U going t/b Sleeping Beauty or L'il Red Riding Hood?

L.

#1254102 01/11/05 08:35 AM
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 781
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 781
KMEJ,

The more important question, at this point, is how you plan to deal with the Vikings playoff loss to the Eagles on Sunday. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

#1254103 01/11/05 08:50 AM
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,823
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,823
I know this post is from last night....just wondered if all went well <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

-Caren

#1254104 01/11/05 04:04 PM
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,743
K
KMEJ Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,743
Caren- Last night did not go well. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> I waited up for H until around 12:30- when he was not home, and no call was made to say he was running late, I decided to go to sleep. When I woke up this morning I found H next to me, TV on, Glasses still on, and his clothes still on....
Then I went downstairs and saw his friends shoes and knew, KNEW that I was blown off for his friend YET AGAIN! When I called him later in the morning to tell him that I was hurt he acted like I did something to him, and got all upset saying that I want him to have no life what so ever and that all he should do is go to work and that is it. I calmly just reminded him that last night was his idea, he claims I did not wake uo for him- like he tried- he was home late, and had a friend with him! He said I was not interested.... I asked him what I was wearing, and then asked if he really believed what he was saying- he handed the phone to the baby... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Now I am home- been home for half an hour, no H to be found- but friends car still in driveway.

Why oh why to I let myself get worked up only to get let down???????

#1254105 01/11/05 04:06 PM
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,743
K
KMEJ Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,743
Andrew- thanks for the vote of confidance. The Vikings made me proud of them last weekend, and no matter what the out come of Sunday's game I will still be proud. WE almost beat them earlier in the season, and they do not have Terrel Owens, so we have a shot!!

#1254106 01/11/05 04:07 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 344
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 344
kmej

i dont know what to say, except he is a selfish ba$[censored], who doesnt deserve to breath the same air as you

#1254107 01/11/05 04:09 PM
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 781
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 781
Wait a minute...

Your H asks you - a good-looking woman who is far too-eager to please him - to wear something sexy for him when he comes home...and he blows you off?

There is seomthign seriously wrong with this man, KMEJ. Are you sticking to your March deadline for him to shape up?

#1254108 01/11/05 04:16 PM
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,743
K
KMEJ Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,743
Yeah he asked me to wear something sexy- so I took a shower, used my really pretty smelling body wash, basically did the whole ball of wax, drank coffee to stay awake for him, even um- gave him a prelude before he left for work- (OS) and I got nothing but greif. I am just curious if he is a rare breed or if many a men do this kind of thing...

Yeah March sounds about right... however I have been having more and more thoughts lately. I am just so tired of sitting idle while he does as he pleases. I am tired of being alone in a marriage. I am tired of his friends coming first.

H just got home, they took Michael and went bowling. H came in said Hello, asked about my day (which he never does- must know he is in trouble) then walked away and is presently playing Cribage with his friend, and has to leave for work in 45 minutes... So much for time for me. And we have the boys' birthday party here this weekend, and so far he has done nothing to help.

#1254109 01/11/05 04:22 PM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,736
E
Member
Offline
Member
E
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,736
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by KMEJ:
<strong> Yeah he asked me to wear something sexy- so I took a shower, used my really pretty smelling body wash, basically did the whole ball of wax, drank coffee to stay awake for him, even um- gave him a prelude before he left for work- (OS) and I got nothing but greif. I am just curious if he is a rare breed or if many a men do this kind of thing...

Yeah March sounds about right... however I have been having more and more thoughts lately. I am just so tired of sitting idle while he does as he pleases. I am tired of being alone in a marriage. I am tired of his friends coming first.

H just got home, they took Michael and went bowling. H came in said Hello, asked about my day (which he never does- must know he is in trouble) then walked away and is presently playing Cribage with his friend, and has to leave for work in 45 minutes... So much for time for me. And we have the boys' birthday party here this weekend, and so far he has done nothing to help. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sounds very frustrating and lonely.

On the birthday party, what is it you've asked him to do?

TB

#1254110 01/11/05 04:24 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 344
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 344
what is OS
he11 what is SF

are you sure he is straight.
if my w ever offered my buddys had to wear my footprint on there butts for a week after i got done kicking them out the door

#1254111 01/11/05 04:26 PM
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 781
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 781
K,

Are you sure the OW isn't back in the picture - or that there isn't another one?

#1254112 01/11/05 04:32 PM
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 1,815
G
Member
Offline
Member
G
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 1,815
Dalson, go up to the Emotional Needs section and click on Welcome to MB, etc. thread. That thread is there to help new members understand all the appreviations etc. It will help you understand what is being said and is WELL worth your time.

#1254113 01/11/05 04:42 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 344
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 344
that was a joke <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

#1254114 01/11/05 04:48 PM
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,743
K
KMEJ Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,743
I had this legnthly reply, and my internet shut off, so much for DSL!

Dalson- os is oral sex, SF is Sexual fullfillment. Hope that helps buddy!

I have questioned myself as to if H might be attacted to the same sex. He says everything is does not like is "Gay", makes me think that he might be over compensating something that he is trying to hide.

As far as the birthday party, I have asked him to wrap the presents (2 of our boys birthday) and either put away the 2T clothes and pack up the smaller ones, or clean out the toy room. As well as take down the Christmas tree- which he wants to leave up. Basically help get stuff ready. If he does the above that leaves me with 4 bathrooms, and every other room in the house, cooking, decorateing 2 spiderman cakes, shopping for all the ingrediants, and so on. I am not asking that much when 2 days he has only 1 kid and he is usually napping.

I am just dissappointed in H for last night. Is this typical of a WS to treat their BS in (so called) recovery like this???

#1254115 01/11/05 04:51 PM
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,743
K
KMEJ Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,743
Ha ha Dalson- i get it now, you are not getting OS and SF anymore, so you are trying to remember what it is right? GOt it, that was good, you had me too!

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 373 guests, and 59 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Bibbyryan860, Ian T, SadNewYorker, Jay Handlooms, GrenHeil
71,838 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5