This is a note of encouragement to those on this board whose marriage is ending, cannot be repaired, etc....

I am a regular on this board, posting under a different name for my own reasons (mostly for fun and mystery). In any case, I went thru a nearly perfect plan A, and very good, though difficult plan B, and ended up losing my marriage - I went thru the pain, the agony, the pain that we have all felt at the loss of a spouse and friend - one of many years, in my particular case. Having gone thru this pain - true agony, I just wanted to post a note of encouragement.

FaithfullNewCJ and I just spent a wonderful week together, the first time we have personally met - all of our conversations until now have been over the phone, IM, email, etc. We finally met, and since she is on a Greyhound headed for home and can't get on here herself, I thought I'd take the liberty to express some of my thoughts.

Because CJ and I have been here on MB for a while (CJ a lot longer than I) we have learned many, if not most of the MB tools and have been blessed by the ongoing discussion thru this message board. When we actually met, for the first time, I already knew her fairly well - we have exchanged Personal Histories, etc. But when I saw her for the first time, I knew what it meant to be happy, I know many of you have met her and know her smile, but to me, it is sunshine.

My word of encouragement is this: I thought my life was over, that I would not be able to make it - having residential custody of the kids, all of the bills of many years of marriage - plus the loss of the person I that vowed my life to. (Yes, CJ - dangling participle - bite me...please....hee hee). But I found out this week that the MB principles do work, that love and commitment are possible. I was devastated at the loss of my XW: I didn't think life was worth more than running on 'automatic' - just 'going thru the motions' for my kids. But CJ taught me a valuable lesson; that lesson is this: it is possible, even if you lose the 'love of your life' - to find that there is another out there that is even better.

And to the friends of CJ - All of your words of wisdom I heed: she is worth my life. We have pledged ourselves to one another and on the day when we finalize our decision, I will tell you who I am. Until then, just keep all this in mind: she is worth all of the effort a bachelor dad like me can possibly expend.

And to CJ: when you get home and back to MB: I love you, and I pledge that all of my energy will be spent on doing the right thing and following the 4 steps of protection: you are already such a part of my heart that I find that the time it is going to take for us to become one is worth all of my energy - and beyond.

SUM OF IT ALL: Love is there. Follow the steps that the Wise Ones on this board and the Harleys' advice. Do what is right. Do the steps exactly, no matter how you feel at the time. You most likely will save your marriage (the 'odds' - I don't believe in luck - are on your side). But even if you lose - there IS SOMEONE OUT THERE THAT YOU CAN LOVE AND WILL LOVE YOU IN RETURN.

Later all. To CJ: "To Jimmy Buffet Mornings"

Love to all

OHHHHHHHHHH---A MYSTERY. I LOVE MYSTERIES!!!!!!!

COOL. I'm really glad I read this post!!! (I'm having a terrible time being able to see and post here!!!)

I (obviously) don't know who you are but CJ is awesome. Her words and care have helped me so much. Congrats to you both.

Dang, must have been a longggggggg week. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> I recall posting to y'all before the boards closed.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

Anywho, thank you sooooooooo much for the words of encouragement. I am always glad to see a success story in the making. One of my fiance (who posts here) & I's favorite songs is "God Blessed the Broken Road - that lead me straight to you".

I know y'all have been through terribly painful experiences and to see love and happiness rise from the ashes of despair and hopelessness is an amazing experience.

For a funny thought, I'd like to seriously know how many people have had appropiate or inappropiate relationships as a result of people they've met 'round these parts. Sadly, I bet the inappropiate ones out number the appropiate one but that's beside the point here.

I can't begin to express how special that short-legged one to my West is to me. For her to find love and happiness is a dream come true for me. All I ask is that you love her and I know you will.

Hugz, Thoughts, & Prayers

That is very encouraging news. I think about the frustration I have right now with everything that's going on, and it honestly weighs on my mind.

It's easy to sit here temporarily house ridden by yourself, and think, can life get any tougher? At least I'm not dying!

Friends around me and on this site give me hope that there is happiness around the corner. With or without my wife.
It's good to have the reminders.

SIS <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

I've wondered that myself - it would be really interesting - too bad there's no way to run an anonymous survey....

David

Hee hee hee hee hee hee..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Hi LH!


LOL! CJ and I have chosen that as our song. There isn't a line of it that isn't amzingly true.



Thanks LH - you have my word that she will be loved and treated with extreme care and respect. She is an amazing woman....and wonderful too (of course, I'm a bit prejudiced - hee hee.) If you've met her you already know what a wonderful smile she has - she lights up the room when she smiles, and that's pretty much all of the time. I've never met anyone like her before, and I've met a LOT of people.

Like I said before, if I ever do anything to harm her, my behind is available for kicking. My prayers are that I will never do anything that would give her pain. 'Course I'm not perfect - but she's worth all of my strength, time, resources and commitment.

* sniff *

Smoky in here innit ?

* sniff *

Happy for both of you, David AND my DEAR CJ !

Bless yer hearts, C.J. and David the Lightweight.

GC

We're bringin' a posse if you don't! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Great happiness to CJ and her Mystery Man!

LOL! Sherlock Holmes is on the trail.......

Weeeeellll ! You only got to read the conversation that went on these boards between you two....I felt like a gooseberry ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

ALL blessings ! Really.

Special people. And 'specially my darlin' seej <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hi, everyone! I'm Baaaaaaack! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> So is it just me, or is this just the most awesome post EVER?? This was the most amazing, surprising, wonderful trip EVER, and I owe it all to this wonderful man. Isn't he something?

Well, it was a little longer than a week because I rode Greyhound out there and back and enjoyed the scenery along the way. It was WONDERFUL. I love our United States. And the week was...WOW...indescribable. I love this man!


CJ

nope, it is not just you, you are absolutely right.

this is definitely a most awesome post!!!

CJ... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> Now if my hunch <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> is right then that little bussy pooh you rode probably took a little stop through my town by Russell's Resturant..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> I work like 5 blocks from there.....

That's OK darling, just make sure that we see each other on your trip out here in July, I wouldn't be so eager to forgive that one.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Anywho, as you can tell, even though I've been left out on all the details <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />, I'm extremely excited for y'all. It's wonderful to hear your joyful heart spill out in your words. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Hi Sunshine!

I think this is a pretty cool post, too. I started it as a way of sharing my joy and amazement at finding someone...well, you, to be specific...after settling myself in for a single dad life and not even thinking about relationships at all - just wanted to put out the good word that there is always hope in the world, especially to those who are facing what you and I had to face - the real end of a relationship, the loss of the person we thought would be around forever.

But hey, I also want to let the world know I found the most wonderful woman in the world, so I guess this thread has a dual purpose! "It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true...."

Jimmy Buffet mornings to you sweetie.

G'day, all!