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FL-T2M - No, what MM has been writing didn't come from a book. It came from a series at his church.

However, if you'd like a book that delves into similar material I would recommend you get a copy of Magnificent Marriage by Gordon MacDonald.

God bless.

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thanks FH!!

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***edit***

Last edited by Maverick_mb; 12/18/08 08:21 PM. Reason: personal attack
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After I've saw this thread with the few more responses and opened it, I was SOOO hoping I would FINALLY see the outstanding 2 roles of the W’s role. Aaaggghhh, what a disappointment… Hope we wil eventually get it someday... Will we MM?

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I apologize. Much of what I have been doing in my life lately has been taking ALOT of time (new business, travel baseball for my sons). Barely have time to deal with the issues that are day-to-day here. But I did finish the 2nd of 3 sections for the gals FINALLY!! So, here comes that post. I will then start on the final one.

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Seducing your husband...(1 Peter 1:3-4)

“Your adornment must not be {merely} external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but {let it be} the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.”


We started off with the men, with the husband commanded to love his wife as Christ loves the church. That in order to do this, he must become her savior, sanctifier and satisfier. We then started in on the role of the wife, which is to respect her husband. And the first way was to submit to his headship.

One day a woman was trying to get her mule to move. But her mule was stubborn and ornery. So, she went into the barn, found a 2x4, came out and…BAM…hit the mule upside the head. The mule fell over, shook its head, and staggered back to its feet and then begin to follow the woman. Her daughter, who had watched all of this, asked her mom “Why did you hit the mule upside its head?” She said, “because you have to sometimes do something to get its attention.

Men are often stubborn, mule-headed, ornery, lazy, babies-instead-of-men. But God has given every woman a 2x4, one that most women are unwilling to use. It is called respect.

God has said that a wife’s role in the marriage is to hold her husband in high esteem. That does not mean agreeing with him. That does not mean she becomes a subordinate, meaning less than…no more than Christ was less than God. What it does mean is a functional term, in order to fulfill a program, which requires a willingness to yield to your husband’s headship. It is a recognition that God Himself has placed your husband as the head of the home. And your submission of his position…even if you are smarter, more educated, have more common sense…it is a 2x4 that God has given you that if swung hard enough and consistent enough, will get the mule moving. That is why He states that even if they are not obeying the Word, when they observe your chaste and respectful behavior, they can be won.

We are now going to continue on by discussing the second role…which is wives seducing their husbands. Now before you guys get too excited out there…

God wants you wives to be seductive for your husbands, but in a Christian sort of way. That is what verses 3-4 are about above. It says that respect for your husband is seductive.

He uses the word adornment. Let’s look at that word for a minute. The word used in the Bible comes from a Greek word pronounced cosmos. This word is also used in the NT as the word “world.” We get the English word from this “cosmetic.” The word literally means “to arrange or organize.” When the Bible talks about the world, it is talking about how Satan arranges things to leave God out… to forget God.

Knowing how women are normally oriented to how they look, Peter uses this to express how she should relate to her husband, how she adorns herself. So, ladies, when he talks about adornment, he is talking about how a woman makes herself attractive. He says that even if your husband isn’t all he ought to be, he wants to raise a question about how attractive you are.

You see, the reason he raises this question is twofold. First, women are into how they look. And secondly, men are into how they look. Men are seduced by what they see. Men don’t necessarily have to feel it, they just need to see it. That’s why your husband spends more time in your Victoria Secret catalog than you do. Because men are seduced by what they see. That’s why pornography is such a major problem, why the internet is such a problem with men. Because men are seduced by what they see. Men don’t need to feel it, they just need to see it.

Women are oriented toward how they look. They carry their compact cases, the tools to look good all of the time. They do this because it is important to them, and because this is what men see. He says that I want you to look a certain way, particularly to your husband. He wants you to look a a certain way for your husband, to be adorned a certain way for him.

He says that your respect for your husband is your compact case…carry it with you. Because it keeps you looking good.

Does anyone know the difference between a rebellious, unsubmissive, disrespectful wife and a pitbull? Lipstick! (joke…it is just a joke…don’t shoot me and no virtual 2x4s please!!)

He says I do want you to adorn yourself, to look and be arranged and ordered…to have your hair in place, jewelry in place…but He also wants you to adorn yourself with that which has deeper value.

Stores advertise their products in the windows using mannequins. Lifeless replicas. But recently, some stores have moved to live models in the window. They will stand there motionless, wearing the store’s fashions. Sometimes, the only way to tell they are real women is that they blink.

Many people will come by and knock on the window, or make faces, in order to get her to move. But she had something more important in sight that kept her motionless…it was in pleasing her employer.

Ladies, for you to live this life that God has ordained, you are going to have to ignore the folks on the other side of the glass. What the Bible talks about will go against what many of your friends will say, will go against what much you will read in popular magazines, will go against what you see on TV. But you aren’t here to please the onlookers…you are here to please the Lord.

So God wants you adorned, He wants you arranged, He wants you looking good. He wants you seductive, if you will, in the sense of attention getting. But, what is the content of this adornment, this look?

Verse 3 says “our adornment must not be {merely} external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses;” Please note, He is saying “I want you adorned in two ways, not just one.” When you get dressed, you try to look your best. God applauds that. But He is saying don’t let it just be how you look on the outside. He is not criticizing how you look on the outside. He is saying that if you can make yourself look good for your boss, you should definitely be making yourself look good for your husband. If you can look good for men you don’t know, you should be looking good for men you do know…mainly the man God has given you as your mate. The woman in Proverbs 31 is a beautiful woman. We are told how she dresses, how beautiful she is.

God does, however, want your beauty to be tempered by modesty. 1st Timothy 2:9 says: “Likewise, {I want} women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments…” He says look beautiful, but don’t leave modesty. What do we mean by modesty? Immodesty is when something is “too.” It is when something is too low, too high, or too tight. If it is too low, too tight, or too high…suggesting an intent to seduce… The reason it says this in 1st Timothy is because that women should watch how they dress at church because in prayer, the people should not miss God in the prayer. But this also applies outside of the church.

He says “not merely external…” You ladies need to understand that a lot of your beauty is store bought. I don’t care how pretty you are, it is store bought. If you took off the make-up, if you threw away the curling iron, if you didn’t wear the clothes that you normally wear…most of you wouldn’t look like you do now…we might not even recognize you. That’s why you ladies say “I have to go put on a face” … because the one you have is not your own. It’s store bought. The jewelry you wear that everyone compliments you on, that hairdo you got at the beautician…it’s all store bought.

Now God isn’t saying there is anything wrong with that. This isn’t a criticism of that. But He is saying that you have to understand…that’s not you. You are looking good and a girlfriend says “Girl, that’s you.” No it’s not. That’s Neiman Marcus, that’s Nordstroms, that’s Bloomingdales. That’s not you.

So, He says not to get enamored by this external beauty. Don’t think because you have all of these things that can make you stunning, that that is the sum total of the beauty of you. That is just one side. He wants to give you the rest of the story.

1st Peter 3:4: “But let it be the hidden person of the heart, with an imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit.” God wants to know are you as pretty on the inside as you are trying to be on the outside. He wants to know that your internal beauty is taking precedence over your external beauty. That He compliment you on how you look on the inside, like you are trying to get compliments from others on how you look on the outside.
The external fools you. It can give the impression that how you look is how you are. That just because people say you are pretty, it can make you think you are pretty. Why? Because external beauty is not being supported by internal beauty…or the hidden person of the heart.

He is talking in this passage on how you look to your husband. He says that your husband ought to see your respectful behavior. And so, if you dishonor him…I’m not talking about disagreeing with him…if you dishonor him, then that shows an ugly attire, it is showing poor adornment…it is showing a poor style. It means that you are not properly attired. What people see must also be supported by who you are. That’s why He calls it the hidden person of the heart…the person not readily observable.

What is God is concerned about is that you are as pretty on the inside as you try to be thru all of your efforts on the outside. He calls it the inner person of the heart…the inner man…the core of you. Don’t tell me when you look good on the outside, but your every word to your husband cuts, you pick up the phone and run him down to your girlfriends…where you do not seek to embellish him in front of your children…don’t tell me that you look good before God when you look ugly before your husband and about him.

How do you get pretty on the inside? There’s only one way, and that is to be transformed by His glory. In other words you have to be a woman of God, you have to be in hot pursuit of God. And He will give you a gentle and quiet spirit. That doesn’t mean you don’t talk…it has to do with how you talk. It isn’t talking about the times when you get frustrated 9everyone gets frustrated). What I am talking about is your overall demeanor. Your overall demeanor should be kindness. It says about the woman in Proverbs 31 that kindness is under her tongue. I am sure she got upset and frustrated, I’m sure she had bad days, PMS days. I’m sure she went thru menopause. These are facts of life. But it says that when you look at her overall demeanor, kindness was under her tongue.

When is the last time you said something kind to your husband? That it wasn’t smart aleck, it wasn’t a put down? When was the last time you used a meek spirit, a gentle spirit…not a tearing down, demasculating one?

God wants the woman that even though you are getting older, or wrinkles are starting to show, or you are putting on a few pounds…because of God’s glory on the inside, you are getting prettier all the time. You ladies know what I am talking about. We all know that average looking lady at church who has that almost mystical beauty to her, something radiating from her that takes her ordinary external look and makes her into something beautiful.

Look at how much time you spend on your look. You make an investment. The Bible has a term for this. It calls this a woman’s glory. It says that a woman’s hair is her glory, and isn’t that so? It is when you step out and gone thru all of the time and energy to look glorious.

A lot of guys out there are married to women like my wife. When we have to go somewhere at 7pm, at 6pm…she goeth before the mirror of her glory. She goes to work. She pulls out eye highlighter, and curling iron, and make up, and stuff I cant pronounce…and in an hour is transformed before my very eyes. Then she heads out to the car, and checks the glory that she just put on.

If you have a woman like that, men, and she seeks to be glorious…the Bible says that the woman is the glory of the man…so go ahead baby, make me look good!!

Now, you wives are saying: “Okay, I’ve got it. I am supposed to be respectful to my husband. I’m supposed to be intimate with God so He can give me that respect that I don’t have. I am to lay myself before God and ask God to help me with all of this…to help me become what I am not. But you do not understand…he irks me. He gets on my last nerve.”

That’s why the last line is so important. He says because it is precious in His sight. We would probably be tempted to disregard that statement, but it is probably the most important phrase we have gone over.

He says for you to look like this on the inside, to make it a goal…just like you spend time looking good on the outside…if you take the time to invest in God’s presence or sight (sight means face-to-face)…where you are looking at the face of God…the Bible says in 2nd Corinthians 3, that when you look long enough at the face of God, you will be transformed by His glory. His glory begins to make you up…you get your own private make-up artist. Like the movie stars that get made up, God becomes your own private make-up artist and He calls the making-you-up-on-the-inside as precious. This is the word used for the woman who brought Jesus the alabaster box. It says it was priceless…precious.

Not what makes something priceless, precious? Simple. Because it is rare. The rarer it is, the more valuable. Stuff that is every where is a dime-a-dozen. Stuff you only can find in certain places has more value. God says the woman He is talking about is hard to find. You can find pretty women on the outside all day long!! Because you can buy that. But He says this woman I am talking about is rare. The Bible says about the proverbs 31 woman “an excellent woman who can find, for her price is far above rubies.”

You single ladies, you have to understand your value. You are not a piece of meat. You are not something to be used and discarded…you have more value than that. You are not here to be used by men that have no respect for you. If they don’t have respect for you…you have respect for yourself. They can’t talk to you anyway…they can’t touch you in any way. Why? Because I am precious in His sight! I’m one of those rare kind of women.

It is precious. In other words, God pays attention to this kind of woman…God works on behalf of this kind of woman. Women who just look good on the outside…all the men go crazy over them. But God goes crazy over this lady.

Like the lady who broke the alabaster box…everyone else was wondering why she was getting all of this attention from Jesus. Simple…she was rare. Unique. Different. Not like the rest.

God hates external beauty not supported by internal beauty. He hates external beauty on top of internal ugly. In Isaiah Chapter 3:16, God says to the pretty women:

Quote:

Isa 3:16 Moreover, the LORD said, "Because the daughters of Zion are proud And walk with heads held high and seductive eyes, And go along with mincing steps And tinkle the bangles on their feet,
Isa 3:17 Therefore the Lord will afflict the scalp of the daughters of Zion with scabs, And the LORD will make their foreheads bare."
Isa 3:18 In that day the Lord will take away the beauty of {their} anklets, headbands, crescent ornaments,
Isa 3:19 dangling earrings, bracelets, veils,
Isa 3:20 headdresses, ankle chains, sashes, perfume boxes, amulets,
Isa 3:21 finger rings, nose rings,
Isa 3:22 festal robes, outer tunics, cloaks, money purses,
Isa 3:23 hand mirrors, undergarments, turbans and veils.
Isa 3:24 Now it will come about that instead of sweet perfume there will be putrefaction; Instead of a belt, a rope; Instead of well-set hair, a plucked-out scalp; Instead of fine clothes, a donning of sackcloth; And branding instead of beauty.




You know what God is saying here? He is going to make your outsides look like your insides. Because your heart is not for Him. You only get adorned for yourself and for the attraction you bring your way. You do not spend the time to look good to Me.

God says that when you become this kind of woman on the inside (the one we are talking about), it will be rare and precious…and He will get out His make-up kit…and He will start polishing you off. And then He is going to do a number on your husband…He’s gonna say “Hokus-pokus.” He’s going to hypnotize him, so that he’s not thinking like he used to think or seeing like he used to see.

You’ve been trying to change your husband for years and it hasn’t changed anything…how about giving God a shot. By becoming a woman who’s inner beauty is so rare to God, it’s so seductive to God, it’s so attention getting to God, that God works on your husband for you. You have been trying to change him without becoming the inner woman that God wants you to be…and then you wonder why he’s not changing.

Maybe you aren’t rare enough yet. Maybe you are just like the run-of-the-mill. Your external beauty may have gotten him…but it is your internal beauty that will change him. Your external beauty may have gotten him because men respond to what they see. It played a part. But it is your internal beauty that will change him.

Now you might be saying “My husband wont see that internal beauty.” He wont have to…because it is precious in the sight of God. God will see you…and then God will do what you can’t. God will work where you can’t.

Now this might take some time. Now I am not talking about someone that is beating his wife or anything like that. I am talking about a husband that just isn’t up to snuff…isn’t doing what we told the men to do early on in this series (savior, sanctifier, satisfier). Yes, he does have a responsibility. Yes, it would be easier if he did his part and led the way. But that does not exonerate you because He says that even if he is without the Word, you will be precious in the sight of God.

That’s why He says in the beginning of verse one…”in the same way.” In the same way connects you to the verses in chapter 2:21-25, which states:

Quote:

1Pe 2:21 For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps,
1Pe 2:22 WHO COMMITTED NO SIN, NOR WAS ANY DECEIT FOUND IN HIS MOUTH;
1Pe 2:23 and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting {Himself} to Him who judges righteously;
1Pe 2:24 and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed.
1Pe 2:25 For you were continually straying like sheep, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls.




Just like Jesus had to trust God in a bad situation, ladies…you are going to have to trust God in a bad situation. Not by paying back with your tongue. Not by paying back with your lips. Not by using your position to disregard him. But by your respectful, honoring behavior you will get God’s attention even if you don’t think you are getting your husband’s.

May God raise up a crop of women that look good in and out for His glory!!

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OMG - blink blink can it be????

Off to read it all!


Dorry (aka Deeplysorry)
me FWW - EA/PA fall of 2004
FWH EA/PA late spring 2005
Got our acts together July 2005 and started recovery.

The Recovery Guide for WW's (Wayward Wives)
Dorry's Story

[color:"blue"]Excuses are easy...change is hard....[/color]
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Quote:

OMG - blink blink can it be????

Off to read it all!




Yeah...finally!!

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Okay, here comes the final one AT LAST!!!

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Surrendering to Your Husband...(1 Peter 3:5-6)

“For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.”


In a courtroom, if you get upset at the proceedings…you don’t like what is going on…and you blurt out…screaming, yelling…in defense of yourself…even if you are right and the person on the other side is wrong, the judge will say “you are out of order.” In fact, if you continue ranting and raving…even if you are right…he will hold you in contempt of court. Because you have dishonored the courtroom.

There are many women today living in contempt of God’s court by their refusal to surrender to God’s divine order. And that order is clear. To respect your husband. The first issue isn’t that your husband is wrong and you are right. Because as we have already discussed respect recognizes his position as head. Even if you disagree with his point.

Hopefully you have learned so far that submission does not mean that you become a doormat, being a punching bag, being disregarded. That is NOT Biblical submission.

The people that hate the word submission hate the definition of the word that is different than they way God defines it. Biblical submission is a willing placing yourself under the authority of another to accomplish a common program. But many women are imprisoned in their rebellion and stubbornness because they refuse the divine order…and God Himself holds them in contempt of court.

So instead of doing it God’s way…they use the dishonor of their tongues to work against God rather than cooperate with God. Only to find themselves still incarcerated in a situation they cannot emotionally break free from.

Peter says however that when a woman does it God’s way, she can change her husband without a word. Now I know that is hard to believe, but that’s what God says. So the issue is whether you are going to let God be true and every man a liar.

Proverbs 25:24 says: ”It is better to live in the corner of the roof then in a house shared with a contentious woman.” Proverbs 27:15 says: ”A constant dripping on a day of steady rain and a contentious woman are all alike.” Drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip…

God says you will never accomplish your goal by nagging. And you ought to know that because you have been doing it for years and it hasn’t worked. Maybe trying it God’s way…

Today the question is very simple as we deal with the last two verses, verses 5 and 6 of 1st Peter 3. Are you going to surrender? Put your hands up? Are you going to say to God “I surrender.” Or are you going to say to God “I’m not doing that.” These two verses calls you to surrender to God’s command to respect your husband.

He first off says that you are going to need some models of holy behavior. He says “like the holy women of old.” He says to the New Testament crowd…you are going to have trouble finding this kind of woman today. With this Gen X generation…liberated generation…feminism generation. You are not going to find what I am talking about…you are going to have to go back to former women. Women who understood this.

We already saw in the last post that God calls this kind of woman rare. The excellent woman of Proverbs 31 is hard to find. It is hard to find holy women. And he is defining holy in the context of respect for your husband. Your holiness before God is directly related to your reverence for your husband. If you disrespect your husband (remember, that doesn’t mean you have to agree with him)…but if you dishonor his position before God, you are not a holy woman.

Wait a minute…maybe you didn’t hear that. It says the HOLY women…we are talking about the women set apart from God, the ladies who loved God, the women who were close to God…you always knew it because it showed up because of the way they treated their husbands.

So don’t tell me you are close to God and you talk to your husband like a dog. Don’t tell me you are close to God when you put your husband down with your friends or neighbors or even your children. He says the holy women of old didn’t do that.

They may not have agreed with their husbands (and would have registered their disagreements with him). They would have registered their complaints and shared their concerns. But they always honored his positions head.

We set ourselves up for failure in this new generation. You often hear people say, or parents say about their daughters…”I have to find me a strong man for my daughter.” Or, “she will run right over him.” Now, you have already set her up to be a non-submissive woman. Because what you have set her up to look for is the weaknesses in the man that she can run over. You have set her up to find his faults and use those as an excuse to take over.

God said to Adam…I am going to prepare you a helpmate. Now, in order for Adam to be prepared a helpmate, Adam first had to need help. God didn’t provide him a helpmate and he didn’t need help. The boy needed help!! Adam had his limitations.

The problem is that we have misunderstood the word “helpmate.” We define helpmate as “cooking, cleaning, and doing all the other stuff that we can pay to have someone not married to him to do.” You don’t need to be a wife to be a good cook. You don’t need to be a wife to clean up…if you make enough money, you can get a maid to do all of that. The woman in Proverbs 31 had maids…she didn’t have to do all of that cooking and cleaning.

This stuff isn’t the primary way you help your husband. It is a way…but not the primary way. The primary way you help your husband is to help him to become the leader God has appointed him to be. And you cannot help him to become the leader if you are tearing down his leadership role at the same time. So instead of denigrating it, you ought to come alongside and help him be better at it.

You ought to be his chief fan, his chief encourager. His chief support system. Many men would rather go out to eat with someone that is encouraging him, than eat at home with a good cook who has no respect for him. The main way you help him is bolstering him up…lifting him up.

But why aren’t more women doing this? Well, verse 5 says it is because they aren’t hanging out with holy women. You’re hanging out with your unholy girlfriends…you’re watching unholy television…you’re listening to unholy radio…you’re reading unholy books…so you become an unholy wife.

He says if you want to do this right, you need to hang out with the right company. We have mothers raising daughters to disrespect their future husbands and they don’t even know it. Because they are being set up to dishonor, rather than to be the helper to make him a better leader. That’s why Titus 2:3 puts it this way: ”Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, {to be} sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored. Older means women that have already gone through things, already raised their children. You don’t go to someone that has been married five times for advice on how to respect a man. You want the advice from someone that has been in the ups and downs, at least since they have been saved, with one man. And didn’t run away, didn’t quit, didn’t throw in the towel.

Notice the last part of that Scripture…”so that the word of God will not be dishonored.” God’s motivation here isn’t to please society, He isn’t trying to please your feminist friends, He isn’t trying to please what the media is telling you…God says “I’m concerned about My Word. I’m concerned about My name. I’m concerned about My reputation.”

I know its hard living with some men. I know its hard dealing with some men. I know its hard following a parked car. I know its difficult trying to get somewhere when the man is not where he is supposed to be. So what you need are some older women who aren’t telling you “Well, girl…I’d leave him if I were you.” Who aren’t telling you “Well, I wouldn’t take that from him.” Unless it is of course violating a higher Biblical principle. God is not telling you to stay there and be beat up on or that kind of thing.

But because he isn’t all that he should be, or he isn’t what you thought he would be…you need older women who are giving you holy information. You need to hang out with God’s Ring of Honor. He says that the holy women were women who loved God and it showed up by how they reverenced their husbands.

You see Satan got Eve to disregard Adam. I don’t know if you knew that or not. Now it is Adam’s fault…the Bible holds Adam responsible for what happened in the Garden. And every man will be held accountable for his home before God. God will not ask about your wife, regardless of her personality or her flaws. He is going to ask every man. But it was set up by the Devil. And the way it was set up by the Devil was that Satan went to Eve and got her to disregard Adam. Her every move never included reverencing her head. He got her to pay no attention to Adam. Adam at this point is passive. He has become the non-leader…because he was standing right there when the snake was talking to his wife. You see, some people think Adam was a long way off. Nope. He was standing right there.

Now, we have a failed man…a passive man, not taking the leadership role. But instead of her passing it off to him in order to force him to take the leadership role, she took it herself. And when she did this, she reversed the roles in the Garden. Her attitude was “Since you aren’t going to be the leader, then I am going to be the leader.”

When she reversed the roles, the snake had her. She listened to the snake. And too many women are listening to the snakes in their lives, who mean no good giving you advice to disregard the Word of God. Because Satan got Eve to disregard the Word of God.

So, then there was a curse. “Your desire shall be unto your husband, and he shall rule over you.” That was the curse. The curse that came because of Adam and Eve’s sin was the Battle of the Sexes. The man is going to want to rule because he is made to rule (even though he is a bad ruler), and the woman is going to not want to be ruled. You are going to rebel against that.

That’s the curse. The battle we are having in our homes comes from this curse. But once you accept Christ, you are redeemed from the curse. Satan doesn’t want you to know that you are redeemed from the curse. That you don’t have to fight anymore for that position of head. But you need holy women to tell you this. Women who love God and reverence their husband. They may torrently disagree with their husband…but they always honor him.

Now, what motivated these holy women to do this? Well, verse 5 says that the holy women also hoped in God. This is the key to the whole thing here. They hoped in God.

Ladies…God wants to know “do you trust Him?” God wants to know “do you believe Him?” Here it is…if you believe your husband makes the final decisions, you are going to rebel against that. If you believe God makes the final decisions, then you wont. This is the major flaw in most homes when it comes to the wife. The wife doesn’t believe God overrules her husband. She believes “he’s the head…therefore he makes the final decision.” No way!! The Bible says for you to submit to your husband as to something bigger than your husband.

God says you go do your part, but you hope in God. You trust in the Lord. Now its one thing to trust in the Lord when you don’t have any problems. It’s one thing to trust in the Lord when he is the perfect leader and lover. But if he is that good, you may not see your need for the Lord. Your need comes from the Lord when your husband isn’t up to snuff. When his limitations show.

Do you believe God has the final word? The holy women of old kept their eyes on God…not their husbands. The holy women of old said “Okay, I don’t feel good about it, I don’t like it, I don’t prefer it, I think you ought to do it another way…but I am going to trust God. I am going to believe God is big enough and powerful enough to overrule this decision if it is wrong.”

Now that is going to take a little faith. So, the question is what do you think about God…not what you think about your husband.

One day a teenager lost one of his contacts on the carport as he was shooting baskets. He searched and searched for an hour for that contact. Not being able to find it, he went in and asked his mother to help. Well, his mom went out and in all of about 2 minutes, she found the contact lens. Stunned, the sons asked “Mom, how did you do that? I looked for almost an hour…and you find it in two minutes. How is that possible?” She replied “Simple, son. We weren’t looking for the same thing. You were looking for a piece of plastic…I was looking for $75.” In other words, it is all in your perspective.

When you look at your husband through the eyes of God, things will become clearer. When you look at him through your eyes, you will never find what you are looking for. You have been looking for him to change, nagging him to change…you have done all of this and nothing has happened. He wont change. You cant find a solution. Well, you aren’t looking with the right eyes.

They hoped in God and things became clear. Look at Mary…the virgin Mary. Mary is just minding her business and an angel comes and tells her “You’re going to have a baby.” She says “But I have never been with a man.” Angel replies “You’re still going to have a baby…God says so.” Now, if I’m going to get pregnant and I’m not married, this is going to create a few problems in my life. That could be a pretty embarrassing situation.

Do you know what Mary said? “May it be unto me as You have said.” You talk about something that doesn’t make sense. I am sure she found it difficult to wrap her mind around this and to get on board. But she still said “may it be unto me as you have said.” In other words…”I’ll take my risk with you, Lord.” Because faith involves risk. There is no way around that.

The question is “are you willing to bank on God?”

When you got married, you surrendered some things. The first thing you surrendered was your name. You gave up the name of your daddy. Another thing you surrendered was your independence. In fact, you surrendered your destiny. His job transferred…and you had to go. You even surrendered your will.

You have spent all of your married life trying to get all of that back. You’ve been trying to get your name back, your independence back, your destiny back, your will back. And rather than getting on the onramp to merge into where God is trying to take you…you are spending all of your time looking for an off ramp. You thought you married the ideal…discovered it has become a raw deal…and now you want a new deal. Many women want to do their own remodeling…and they create a mess.

Let me tell you what the holy women of old thought. They thought “Okay, I’m going to respect my husband even though I may not like what he is doing. I am going to honor his position, and then I’m going to duck so God can hit him upside his head.” But if you don’t believe God is going to get him if you get out of the way…then you are going to stay in the way and God wont touch Him. Read the story of Nabal and Abigail in the Bible (1st Samuel 25)…about how she honored her husband who was a fool. And how God came to her aid…and how her life worked out.

God can deal with your husband…you get out of the way!!! If you will just get out of the way, God can deal with that man, be he a fool or not. And the way you get out of the way is not by disappearing, but by relating to him with respect and honor.

But then Peter comes to verse six, where he selects one particular holy woman in describing the manner of your surrender. You’ve been fighting for a long time…God is saying “stick ‘em up.” And surrender to your Biblical role.

“Thus Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord.” I know this stuff is ticking you ladies off right now, isn’t it? She showed respect in her actions (she obeyed Abraham), and it was verbal (she called him lord). Your respect should be visible and verbal. You’re not to talk to him decent but treat him bad. Nor are you to treat him decent but talk to him like a dog.

It said that she called Abraham “lord.” If you look back at their story, you can realize that Abraham didn’t deserve her calling him lord. Go back and read their story. Abraham had failed Sarah on many occasions. Because of one of the issues and the fact that Sarah had obeyed with faith, God allowed Sarah to get pregnant. So what, you say? Well, when she got pregnant, Sarah was 90 years old.

God told Sarah in Genesis 18 that she was going to get pregnant. When she first heard this, it says that she laughed. She was laughing for two reasons. First because she was 90 years old. You don’t get pregnant when you are 90 years old. That is a biological impossibility.

She was laughing for a second reason. The Bible says that she says “shall I have pleasure of my lord?” In other words, she is saying we have two problems here. We have problem number one that I cant get pregnant, and problem number two…which is Viagra super-sized cannot help that man.

In other words, she was saying that what you are talking about is an impossibility. This could never happen. It is impossible. And I know some of you women are living with men where you are saying it is impossible…he wont change. This wont work. You are dealing with an impossibility as far as you can see.

In Genesis 18, God spoke to her in her laughter and said “What are you laughing at?” His point was…are you laughing at God? We aren’t given her response in Genesis 18, but we do get her response in Hebrews 11:11-12:

Quote:

” By faith even Sarah herself received ability to conceive, even beyond the proper time of life, since she considered Him faithful who had promised. Therefore there was born even of one man, and him as good as dead at that, {as many descendants} AS THE STARS OF HEAVEN IN NUMBER, AND INNUMERABLE AS THE SAND WHICH IS BY THE SEASHORE.”




She respected her husband. Abraham had failures. He had weaknesses and spiritual limitations. But she decided “I’m going to stop laughing and start trusting.”

I know a lot of you ladies are laughing at this series of posts. I can hear you now: “No way. I’m not doing that. Aint gonna do it.” And you are laughing and God wants to know “Who are you laughing at?”

If you will position yourself as a woman of faith…if you can call him lord. “My lord…my master…my head. My leader. You may be a bad leader, but you’re my leader. I am going to honor that position as my head. I am going to stop fighting God.” God turned her laughter into faith.

Now I know what you are thinking. You’re thinking “I’m scared. At least when I am in rebellion, I can feel good about it because I am in control, I am protecting myself.” Well, please read the end of verse six, it says ”if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.” God is saying “there is nothing to be afraid of…I’ve got your back.” God says “I have your back. Don’t be afraid that he is going to take advantage of you.”

Now you are saying “Once I tell my husband he’s the leader, he isn’t going to keep it within the bounds of this post. He’s going to be all over the place ‘I’m the leader!! Come here, woman…doesn’t the Bible say I’m the leader?’ He is going to abuse this.” Well, God is saying “don’t be scared, I’ve got your back!!” Because just like he is telling you he is your leader, I’m going to find a way to tell him that I’m his leader.

Sarah, even though Abraham was weak and made mistakes…she wasn’t afraid. She built him up. And what came of that? Well, a miracle. Look, if your husband is 100 and you’re 90 and you get pregnant…we are talking a bona fide miracle.

Isn’t that what you need…a miracle? Wouldn’t it be miraculous that God changed your husband so that he would love you more, that he becomes a savior, a sanctifier and a satisfier? That’s going to take a miracle. And you have tried for 5 years and ten years and 20 years to change him. But you have never honored his position the way you should…you have blocked your miracle.

“But I’m scared.” Scared of who…God? God says He has your back. 1st Corinthians 11 says that if you dishonor your head, the angels will not help you. When you stop cussing him out, stop trying to change him…but instead you send smoke signals up to Him…He will come over, find out where you are…and be your deliverer.

So, it’s time to see what God can do because you are cooperating…because you have surrendered.

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Hurray!!!


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Faithful Follower,

Hurray, indeed!! I was wondering if I would ever get back to this and finish it. And I hate leaving things undone. It drives me crazy!!

In His arms.


Standing in His Presence

FBS (me) (48)
FWW (41)
Married April 1993...
4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B))
Blessed by God more than I deserve
"If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"

Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
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Finally!

Thanks MortarMan!

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Quote:

Finally!

Thanks MortarMan!




A++ for use of color!

In His arms.

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MM, well done.

God bless.

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Bump....

This is a great thread for those of you who are intersted in what the bible says the roles of husband and wife are.


BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
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AWESOME!!! FWH had just asked for this thread to be e-mailed to him overseas.

Thank you so much!!


M:Feb.'96
D-Day: 4th of July '07
BS:(Me) almost 32
FWH: 35
DS: almost 14
DD: almost 12
DD: just turned 4
Holy Spirit entered my heart: when preg. w/ DS '94
Accepted Christ as my Saviour: 5/98
I Love my Family Forever
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MM is awesome...

Where are the men like him huh? One who actually follows the bible's teachings and truly puts his faith where it belongs...

Hope he and his family are doing well.


God first, family second, and all else will fall into place.

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Bump


BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,541
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A Bump to the top for those who haven't read this....


BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
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