Just a shout out for another MBer -- I told him I had a link for him, but it turns out I don't. . .

This particular guy is a BS who is trying to get custody of his 3 yo. I know there's at least one link out there specifically for FATHERS to use as a resource. . . can anyone direct me to it? It's for UNSEEN2.

Thanks so much,

~ StillLovingHim

Still,

Let me get some of my resources together and I'll post them this afternoon.

It can be done, no doubt about it.

Talk Later

RebornMan

Thank you, RBM, I will let U2 know you're on the case, LOL. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

~ SLH

BTW, Your kids are adorable, loved their pics.

Thanks SLM...I appreciate that. They are good little munchkins and make me smile more than frown.

My 2 oldest didn't want their picture up so I kindly didn't do it...lol..Had to ask first, they are old enough to say yes or no...

OK, here is some stuff I perused while getting my ducks in a row, lot's of good info and you know that well-informed is well-armed

Here you go...

An Article from Fahtering Magazine...nothing we didn't already know
http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0IZE/is_2002_Sept_30/ai_94448582

An Ohio State university Study that rebukes the mother always being the right choice in custody
http://ohioline.osu.edu/hyg-fact/5000/5310.html

This page has tons of info on custody
http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/6708/altmrfa7.html

Another page to find something more specific to your needs
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/

Another great resource I used frequently...Dads Rights...and still read there
http://www.dadsrights.org/

Hope some of this helps him SLH, and of course, as always, if you have any questions feel free to ask.

RebornMan

I forgot to add that if he needs some specific case by case advice, rulings in other jurisdictions I can get that too. It will be cheaper for him if the Atty. doesn't have to do the research (plus a lot of them just go through the motions anyway)

I have access to almost all 50 states court records, including divorce, so I can give specific cases he can use in his defense.

Hope that helps

RebornMan

Thanks, RebornMan -- I appprecitate the speediness with which you were able to get that info together. What on earth do you do for a living to have access to all 50 states' court records, LOL? Or do I want to know? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

*grin*

Have a great week, and thanks again.

~ StillLovingHim

Hey SLH,

I wish I had some deep dark secret I was keeping....

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

The simple sad truth is I just know my way around networks and how to access them when needed.

Not very glamorous but helpful when needed.

Your Welcome SLH, like I said, if he needs something specific to his case i.e..rulings, divorce proceedings, rules, statutes, case histories...I can get that stuff and probably teach his lawyer a thing or two about the law....lol

RebornMan

ps- I saw you and your kids pictures, boy they look just like you...adorable

The simple sad truth is I just know my way around networks and how to access them when needed. . . Not very glamorous but helpful when needed.

Well, RBM, you know that we become well-versed at what we have to practice. . . whether we want to or not. I'm just happy that knowledge (and the fact that you're so enthusuastic about sharing it) can be used to help other ppl, kwim?

Thanks for the compliments on the pics -- I haven't felt very "adorable" lately. Sometimes I feel like all I am is a full-time Nanny (SAHM). I've learned to enjoy my kids more with my H working so many hours -- 14+/4-5 days/week --(thought I would consider it a burden but haven't, really), so that "smile more than frown" comment hit home. Thanks.

Think I'll sit back with some sissified Blackberry wine and Lasagna tonight and watch some Battlestar Galactica Reruns. After, or before, CSI, of course.

LOL. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

SLH

I'll get in on this thread. I've got a hearing next Monday in King County Washington. WW took DS8 out of my house without my knowledge and took him to Paris. I've got a hearing on the restraining order and my propose parenting plan next week.

You can see my thread for details. It's a little ugly, and Steve Harley said to get my son back over here!

SIS

Another site worth checking out is www.toprights.org Stands for The other Parent. A group working together for Dad's rights.

Good luck.

RebornMan I need help since I have infidelity but mass is really a no fault state. Now a restraining order to get me out of the house - totally false allegations all a bunch of small exaggerated incidents..one with my daughter preent who would support me if i dragged her into court. How can i fight the order and also get custody of my kids? Any good examples?

workinonme, this is the exact way that my ex husband got custody of my children. Restraining orders will keep you from getting custody because like you said you cannot go home. The courts will award her custody due to the fact that they are in the home and you cannot go to the home. You have a long fight ahead of you, get a lawyer NOW.

Believe it or not there are books in the library that tell parents to do all kinds of vicious things to gain custody of the children. My xh went right down the line of an article I read. First the restraining order, he was awarded temporary custody due to this, now you have to fight through all the accusations. The reason I lost is because I had no money to fight the allegations he was making, in the courts eyes I was just laying down and taking all of this because the proper legal documentation to fight this was not filed. Again due to my finances and lack of family support.

If you have a lawyer a counselor for the chilren will be present to talk to them, they do not represent you or your spouse, only the chilren. If your spouse is making false allegations then this will come out. This will also control the fact that too many parents like poison the minds of the children to hurt the other parent. The children have a voice. You need the lawyer for all of this to begin.

Your spouse will have to prove her allegations against you also. If she cannot prove you to be an unfit father than her case will fall, and her allegations to the court will look like malice.

Please protect yourself...you are in the beginnings of what my xh did. Don't let yourself be in a helpless situation like I did, even if you have to take out a loan to get a good attorney do it. The courts see $$$, they don't have to live with the consequences they can go home at the end of the day, but you will. Good Luck.

Any links to articles that i can prepare my defense and help my lawyer? She has spewed a lot ofminor incidents such as poked me with his finger, tried to get into house, broke this thing, calls me..calls others...

Oh and i should add these incidents are not how she portrays them. When i reread the post it appears as if I am a threat LOL

My daughter was at one incident do i drag her into this? Prob not thought she is 21 yo

She claims a bouncer escorted me out of a rest/bar and that is not the case do i go to the establishment and ask for their records? Policy?

How do i know if she is trying to use her therapist and other 'testimony'?

What is the best way to investigate, collect, prepare?

Any lawyer will tell you the same...DOCUMENT,DOCUMENT,DOCUMENT. Everything, from her calling you, to times when exchanging kids ect...write everything down.

As far as your lawyer, many lawyers will hire private investigators in custody battles. She is trying to put your life under a microscope to find and prove anything about you that can be wrong. Being that lawyers and judges don't really know you personally...any opinion can be formed. Be very aware of who you are with, where you are i.e. bars, and what you are doing at all times. Someone may have been hired to watch you. Something very innocent can be made to look bad, and you may not be able to explain it away to strangers.

Do NOT talk to her, if she picks up the phone directly ask for the children. She is dangerous right now and is liable to say that you are harrassing her, which with a restraining order will hold against you in a court of law.

Keep your nose clean at all times, don't even do anything that could look bad in court with a picture and a false allegation. Don't date, mingle, or even hang out casually with anyone from the opposite sex. Don't have company at the house with the kids there unless it's family members and people the kids knew prior to the split. This can also be used against you.

It's not fair to you, to have to walk this walk and always be so aware of your surroundings in seemingly harmless situations. This is what you will have to do though in order for her not lie and have you set up.

Make sure your attorney is a good one, and will fight for you. Ask your attorney about the private investigator idea, see if that cost is added with your attorney fees. And remember...buy a tablet of paper strictly for documentation, date it and document everything.

Good Luck