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Have you been in touch with the OMW to compare notes?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Gramn -
Well, I'm relieved if she isn't PG. I can't believe she is taking you to see her apartment. She seems to be very attached to you. Hard to understand.
I guess, just keep on keeping on. No LB's. No discussions about divorce - refer them to your lawyer.
Your wife is a strange one.
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Gramn -
Well, I'm relieved if she isn't PG. I can't believe she is taking you to see her apartment. She seems to be very attached to you. Hard to understand.
I guess, just keep on keeping on. No LB's. No discussions about divorce - refer them to your lawyer.
Your wife is a strange one. I wish I understood it. I let her tell me some of her divorce "plans" without telling her any of my strategies. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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Gramn,
Yesterday evening, I read your entire thread. You did an amazing job and you are showing so much strength and love for your WW.
I have one questions for you? Somewhere in your thread (at the beginning, I believe), you mentioned that your wife's is not from this country and that all of her relatives are somewhere else.
Is your WW is a U.S. citizen? If she is not, this could make a difference in your divorce/custody issues and it may help you get primary or full custody. The American Courts are very strict when it comes to custody when one of the parents is not a U.S. citizen.
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Gramn,
Yesterday evening, I read your entire thread. You did an amazing job and you are showing so much strength and love for your WW.
I have one questions for you? Somewhere in your thread (at the beginning, I believe), you mentioned that your wife's is not from this country and that all of her relatives are somewhere else.
Is your WW is a U.S. citizen? If she is not, this could make a difference in your divorce/custody issues and it may help you get primary or full custody. The American Courts are very strict when it comes to custody when one of the parents is not a U.S. citizen. You read all of that? Wow. I wonder if it's a little like reading a book when you read it all at once... I had not thought of that citizenship stuff.. She is NOT a citizen, but a perminant resident. She is elligable to take the test sometime, but hasn't done so yet. ------------------------------------------------- I'm trying to get all of my stuff organized for my lawyer meeting later. Wish me luck!
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Gramn,
If she really wants to divorce you, then I would definitely suggest going for primary and full custody of your daughter. From what I've been reading in your messages, she has repeatedly threatened to take your daughter away etc. and I'd be concerned that, if push came to shuff, she would not hesitate to take her back to her country of origin like in case she didn't have enough money to live on etc. Please be VERY careful!
BTW, obtaining U.S. citizenship is not as easy as it sounds even if one is a Resident Alien for many years. It also takes time. It does not happen overnight.
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Wow, Dusa, great and important catch I think! I'm not a lawyer, but I would think this would work in Gramm's favor.
Gramm, good luck today. I hope you have an excellent attorney and know that many of us are sending you good thoughts and our prayers.
Shellybird
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Long time lurker, first time writer...
Is your daughter a US Citizen?? Was she born here?? If so that just strengthens your case...a permanent/resident alien getting custody of a US citizen over a US Citizen in which everything else is equal is not likely to happen..
Good Luck...keep focused....Listen to MM, he's hasn't steered you wrong yet.
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dude this sounds so much like my own story beware it has not gone so well for me thus far. I agree try to keep her home if you can because it really is difficult if she moves out, and protect your kids.
turp
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Gramn, these are good points. My BIL (from the Carribbean) is a Marine, who served in Iraq, and is STILL not a US Citizen, despite efforts for a long time.
So, it's not like she can just decide she wants to complete the process tomorrow and get it done... This could definitely work to your advantage.
26 years old
2 DD's, 3 and 6
Divorced after XWH's A
MARRIED to LostHusband 7/23/05!!
3 step DD's, 15, 13, 10
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Is your daughter a US Citizen?? Was she born here?? If so that just strengthens your case...a permanent/resident alien getting custody of a US citizen over a US Citizen in which everything else is equal is not likely to happen.. Daughter IS a US citizen, but she also has dual citizenship. (We got her citizenship in Wife's country too) ------------------------------------------------ Meeting with the Lawyer went pretty well. He says that I can't get TEMPORARY custody now, which is bad, because she is a SAHM, and I work all day. BUT, he is very confident that this will NOT hurt my chances at full custody later, and is working on a plan. He also had some good ideas to "correct" any child support figures that were proposed by Wife.
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Good to hear that your lawyer is working to protect you. If your daughter is born in the U.S., then she is automatically a citizen of the U.S., period. The U.S. does not recognize dual citizenship, however one is not prevented from having a passport of another country in one's possession.
Does your daughter have a passport from your WW's country of origin? If so, do you know where it is? Do you have your daughter's US passport?
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So what did the attorney say about the whacky reference to her "paramour?"
Did he recommend you counter with cause (adultery?) August is coming up pretty soon, so I would think the minimal time frame between her being a SAHM and her NOT being one shouldn't prohibit you from seeking temporary custody.
Hope you're feeling ok!
Shellybird
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Good to hear that your lawyer is working to protect you. If your daughter is born in the U.S., then she is automatically a citizen of the U.S., period. The U.S. does not recognize dual citizenship, however one is not prevented from having a passport of another country in one's possession.
Does your daughter have a passport from your WW's country of origin? If so, do you know where it is? Do you have your daughter's US passport? I've got both of her passports where they will be safe... So what did the attorney say about the whacky reference to her "paramour?" He didn't mention that. Did he recommend you counter with cause (adultery?) I could, but since I dont want the divorce, he suggests not counter claiming at all. August is coming up pretty soon, so I would think the minimal time frame between her being a SAHM and her NOT being one shouldn't prohibit you from seeking temporary custody. We'll adjust the paperwork as necessary.
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I would love a synopsis of you arguments so we can see your approach! How goes the battle? I admire your strength, not sure I can last as long with hope as you have...
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There is not much to tell yet. This is just the first step.
If you've read this thread, then you already know the things that I could tryto argue.
Surprisingly, the affair stuff isn't that important.
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Today I found an instant message where wife was telling her dad about OM's job search. (He had an interview somewhere, because he is still out of his Y job)
SO, even though this did not confirm it, it seems very likely that they are communicating again...
D-Day 6-13-05
Plan B began 9-29-05
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Gramm
sorry mate but this DOES confirm they are in contact.
You need to act on that as a given & do what you need to protect your child & yourself.
I admire your courage Gramm, wish I could give you the magic answer. There isnt any but to do whats right for your DD & yourself.
W 38ys
H 39 yrs
DS 2 yrs
DD 21 yrs
DS 20 yrs
M nearly 21 yrs
WHO DARES WIN
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Gramm, I would stay in touch with the OMW. What is going on with her? She needs to know they are in touch.
Does her father condone her affair? Has she spun the story to him?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Gramn, when you walk down the street - Hold your head high. You are such a fine person for doing all that you have done. Be proud guy.
I would definetly contact OMW (well, duh - big mouth here) really Gramn you both need to coordinate times, etc. I am sad to say but it sounds like contact to me too. Give that woman a call.
(((( Gramn ))))
carnation
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