My H and I are supposed to go to to the water park with a co-worker of his, who is female this weekend. We have gone with her and her H/kids before and it wasn't a big deal. Now he is confiding in her about our problems because he feels she is unbiased and wouldn't form an opinion one way or the other. Now that we are having problems and he isn't sure if he wants to stay with me should we still go? Should I just stay home so he has his space and let him take the kids or just the opposite and make sure I fill his ENs and have a good time with me there?

I know after getting some response in another post that he should not confide in an opposite sex friend and it can just lead to problems, so I figure we shouldn't go at all.

I feel like I'm walking on eggshells so as not to make him resent me for saying he shouldn't have talks with her anymore.

Help!

This is dangerously close to forming an Emotional Affair. None of you should go. Certainly not him w/o you. And he should understand your desire for him to share his problems with you, and most definitely not another female.

Frankly, it may not hurt to ask the friends H what he thinks about the two of them getting so cozy.

thanks for the reply

My H told me that she later said that he owes it to our M to give it one more honest try and she wants to watch our kids so that we can go out alone. I think that she is a friend of the M and is tring to help. My husband really wants me to go and maybe this is a good time to spend recreational time together, even if it is with the kids. We don't get out much and I think he is just happy to do something together. Another co-worker is coming with her kids too. He has become more physical in the last couple of days, I know thats a good sign because he has always had a high EN for sex. I just can't figure out how to get him to open up and share his EN. He clams up when I ask him to fill out the questionare.

I mentioned about the advice I received and how he shouln't confide in a female friend and he just says yaya I know what youre saying and clams up.

I guess I will just keep providing him with the ENs I think he needs for now.

How you doing in the LB department? Not going to do you much good to be meeting his needs on one hand, while pushing him away with the other.

OF course, Dr. H's rule-of-thumb is 15 hours a week of UA time. It is easy to allow kids and parenting to get in the way of that. It takes serious effort and commitment.

He may not feel safe sharing his needs. His sex drive may be "overpowering" to him, but once that's taken care of an dnot pushing him so hard, he may not feel safe discussing it.

He may also not know what his needs are, which is probably mor elikely. SF is hormone driven in some ways, so it's obvious. The others are not so obvious.

I am new to this web site but have been reading several of the posts on here and would like to share my story and see if anyone give me advice on what I am going through. On 5/25/05 my wife left me and our children. Since that time I have been beside myself. I have been seeing a councelor and so has she. At first the only reason she would give me was that she was not happy and needed to work on herself. on 6/17/2005 I foukd out about an affair she was haveing by checking the cell bill. She had lied to me for at least a month about the affair, that she swears was only emotional. I do not know waht to believe, I am so confused and hurt by everthing. I realize taht I have not been there for her emotionally for quite a while, but I am working very hard to become a good husband to my wife and better father to my kids. I really feel like I am putting in all of the work and she is not trying at all. She has stopped seing her councelor and has previously refused my offers of couples counseling. I have spoken to my attorney about divorce after she told me this week she had been trying to get me to D her for the Past month. I have all the paperwork ready but have not filed becauwe I dont want to be D'ed. I still love my wife very much and still want her in my life. I am very frustrated because It feels like I am the only one who wants to reconcile our relationship. any thoughts from those of you that have been in my shoes would help at this point I am willing to try anything.