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Mortar - I called the OMW. She is floored. Does not believe it. Said "I think you have the wrong person". I then gave her facts that made her understand that I DO KNOW what I am talking about. She said she is too old for this. She is leaving with OM today to go to NY to spend 2 weeks with great grandbabies. I gave her my name and number - asked her not to expose my source. She said she is gonna sit on it till she gets back. I gave her WW's #, and asked her to snoop through OM's phone after his morning walk.
She is blown away.
She does not want to involve OM's kids, so she will not give me the info. But I still have the theatre crowd to talk to.
Mortar - I DID IT!
editd to change title
Last edited by foundareason; 08/28/05 02:44 AM.
foundareason D: March 2006 (xw - multiple a's)
I have found a NEW REASON!!!! A Treasure!!
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Good job, foundareason!!!
OK,,now she's aware. She been enlightened and will be watching.
You did it!!!
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I am a lurker on here, but can I just say:
GOOD FOR YOU!
I am glad to see you take back some control in your life. Exposure is so important....brings the A out in the sunlight so it can be seen for what it is. Not to mention solidify's your position and gives you much needed inner strength.
You are fighting for what you believe!
God Bless,
Rachel
BS (me) - 30 FWS - 32 dd - 11 dd- 2 years together 8 years married 8/25/02 PA - 5/03 ended 12/31/03 Separated 3/18/04 to 6/30/04 DD 5/27/04 getting better, in recovery
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Now, my dear, have you battened down the hatches? Be prepared for your wife's fury - with the "this is the last straw", I'm filing for D now, how could you hurt his family like this?, I'll never trust you again, blah, blah, blah.
Chances are very good that OM's wife will spill the beans to him, and he will call your wife.
So get ready to hang in there.
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Hi, found.
You did good.
Now, don't stop with the exposure. Don't expect much help from his wife.
Who's next?
What about her f-buddy? Is he married? What's your plan?
Are your children safe from her hauling them off?
Gimble
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
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I agree with Believer on this one, FAR. I can't imagine his wife trying to act like nothing is wrong for a week...and it's REAL likely that her H is going to grill her to find out who was on the phone since he was there when she got the call. Odds are that she was freaked out by the call, and her 'loving' hubby had to find out what was wrong.
Be ready for the storm...if not tonite, the odds are VERY high that it will be in the next few days.
And the description of how your wife is likely to respond is very on the money too....she's going to be soooo angry that her secret is out, and that YOU were the one who ruined her little fantasy world. Of course she's going to feel that you did it just to hurt her and just to be mean...realize she's not able to think like a normal human being right now. She's not going to be rational, so be prepared to deal with an irrational, borderline psychotic for a while.
The good news is that most WS's do tend to come out of that phase after a while...it might take a while. I know that my wife was VICIOUS for the first week or two after her EA ended...but in time she was finally able to see the truth in things.
Hang in there...
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Put on your bull-pucky-resistant underwear .... you are now wearing the wigged-out-wandering-wife's target bulls-eye .... square on your [censored] ....
EXPECT INCOMING
Do not argue Do not name call Do not become a punchingbag
When you can no longer stand it ... leave the room.
It's all good ..... the weirder she acts, the more on target your exposure.
Keep you strength up.
Pep
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foundareason,
All I can think of this this famous quote "I love the smell of napalm in the morning." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> Pep is right incoming for sure, but you my man have started to put some serious heat on this affair. Congratulations. Be cool, be calm, let her yell, and keep the napalm coming as required. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
God Bless,
JL
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Good Job Found!!!!!!!!
Oh my gosh, I'm so proud of you and of Gramn, who also did a great exposure job!!!!
Good going!!!!
-Caren
Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.
BS-Me 39 WH-37 Together 15 years Married 12 years 7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16. Mine: DD22, DD15 Ours: DD12 Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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Ditto what everyone else said. Great job. Get ready now...the "fun" begins.
In His arms.
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Like MM says, Lean forward in the foxhole.
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Pep - thanks for the words of wisdom.
Thanks, all!
It feels good. It feels right, and with OM and OMW going to visit great-grandbabies for a week, and WW with her mom (the surgery was successful. She is recovering well. She had a mastectomy after months of chemo - my MIL) for a week, they will not be able to communicate much, plus OMW will be watching him like a hawk, and checking his phone after his morning walk.
Mortar - I can not afford to communicate with SH as much as I want to - so I am going full on with all of you guys' advice. I will filter it through stringent prayer, and look for the Voice of God. It is amazing how It so frequently sounds like many of you.
Now - the other OM. He has no family. His mom is dead. He is a drifter. I have no leverage on him, except that about $15,000 of his gear is in my garage. He was evicted, and had no place to store it and no money. Wifey asked if we could store it (I was still blind and stupid)
How do I approach him?
foundareason D: March 2006 (xw - multiple a's)
I have found a NEW REASON!!!! A Treasure!!
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ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS!!!
Like Pepperband said- sit tight and don't let her get past your mental armor. I'd almost suggest tape recording your conversations in case things get out of hand, but not sure if that's going too far. Don't allow any abuse whatsoever.
((Im doing good, FAR, thanks for asking in your other thread. Still pregnant and told baby may be 9 pounds. Induction set for next week, July 5th, my 41st week of pregnancy. Feeling good. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> ))
Im going to bed with a smile on my face. You did great.
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Miss Diva - thanks for the update.
Thanks for being proud. I am.
Mortar's chastisement was exactly what I needed, and in God's perfect timing. Is that timing perfect, or what? They got on a plane like 3 hours later. God is awesome.
foundareason D: March 2006 (xw - multiple a's)
I have found a NEW REASON!!!! A Treasure!!
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Good job with respect to exposure. As to OM2, call the cops and have his stuff removed from your garage. Under no circumtances should you harbor his stuff given that he has been sleeping with your wife all along. It will be clear to them that you know when you remove his stuffs from your home. And do it soon.
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P.s. Make sure you remove his stuff legally! Hence, the suggestion of getting the cops involved.
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So selling it on Ebay and giving him the $50 is not legal? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Thanks for the advice. I will explore the options.
foundareason D: March 2006 (xw - multiple a's)
I have found a NEW REASON!!!! A Treasure!!
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Donate it.
1. Gets it out of your garage and gives you back your space.
2. Goes to a worthy charity. Make sure you get a receipt so that it c/b tax deductible. LOL!!!
3. Pizzez off the WS and OP. Who care!??!? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
L.
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Wonderful. Now it is out in the open. Yep-napam that's great. Let the fireworks begin...we are close to the forth. I doubt OM will leave his wife. Too many years and she is from that other generation that stays together-hopefully. I will keep you and the old mans BS in my prayers.
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Orchid - I would like to donate it - but it is a real sound system that is woth a lot. I think impounding it is the best thing - call the cops and tell 'em it is abandoned. That way he can get it back. (for a price) PLus, that keeps it very legal.
Thank you all for yor support and advice.
MM - you da man.
foundareason D: March 2006 (xw - multiple a's)
I have found a NEW REASON!!!! A Treasure!!
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