I've hit a wall when it comes to dating. I know what I want and what to look out for in a relationship and that has made me less tolerant and more quick to move on. The problem is I'm tired of the whole process of finding that special, complementary person. I'm dating a few people now and none of them is what I'm looking for and I just want to be alone and maybe start looking again later when I get the urge.

I can understand that noone is perfect and people have got their baggage, including myself, considering it's been 10 months since I got divorced, but I think I'm more realistic in my choice of women now. I know that I can't change anyone. It would make things a lot easier though, wouldn't it? I think I'm gonna take the rest of the year off and keep my eyes and ears open but not actively search for a girlfriend.

Sometimes I get the feeling that no matter what happens I'm gonna be alright and it's taken me a long time to feel that way. Other times though I think that I'm on the wrong path and that I'm lost without a plan and it frustates me because I want to be happy. I guess that happiness can mean different things to different people and maybe I just need to find out what exactly it means to me.

reads like healthy advice to me. . . reads like you were looking for someone else to create this happiness for you. . .

when the student is ready, a teacher will appear

sounds like you are going to be the best teacher, learning how you want to live your life, and then see if anyone wants to follow along.

wiftty

Very good, coughlin. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Aye, I absolutely agree.

Coughlin,

I read this thread because I either despise pychobabble or am amused by it, depending on my day. However, I find no babble at all. I'm a little disappointed.

But, I'm mostly impressed. I'm learning so much from everyone else's experience!

I can tell you one thing I've learned about me. I value you peace very highly. Having peace in my life is essential to my existance. Happiness for me is synomynous with joy. So, sometimes, I'm not happy, but as long as I have peace, I'm okay. The really nice thing is peace allows joy to come in. So, my raspberries make me happy. The sun set. A dark sports bar filled with locals. Joy comes serendipitously.

I'm hoping love will come serendipitiously too.

Thanks all for your replies. I have to say Greengables that you response about peace really hit home with me as I've been thinking about that quite a bit lately. It is my answer to happiness. Simple things please me. Kaos and conflict make me depressed.

I just broke it off with this girl that I was seeing for a couple of months. I didn't feel comfortable with some of the things about her. It's as simple as that. I gave her a chance to try and make me feel comfortable with her scenario of living with her ex-boyfriend but it didn't happen. I'm atleast happy that I was able to tell her how I felt in a honest, constructive way. But, I'm definately sad that it's over. I hate saying good-bye to people--never felt comfortable with that. I know that it was the right move though.

I need to take a break from all these emotions and get back to that inner peace that really makes me happy.

Coughlin,

I'm sure you feel sad now, but it will go away. Personally, I would suspect dating someone who lives with her ex-boyfriend is really for drama kings. If there is such a thing. LOL.

You mentioned that you just broke things off with GF.

That always brings someone down. I'll bet you're just experiencing that disappointment and discouragement.

It'll turn around.