It is for me. I'm a woman with a very strong libido. Normally very healthy, I had a short period of resentment that stifled some of my participation in our sex life. I participated but not with my former zeal.
At this moment in time, into husband's life walks MOW with one thing on her mind, sex with my husband! She made it very clear in crude language that she was his for the taking.
We were very happily married, my husband even said that to himself as he was considering the A, but the possibility of strange, while I was at the same time disillusioned with our sex life, totally sent him to her side of the razor.
It's not fair, it's not a justification, it was selfish, but that's what happened.
Our sex life cooled, to my further dismay. I missed sex badly, I became worried about it. After a few weeks I began to try to woo him back into regular good sex, I took responsibility for my pleasure. I had no idea he was having an A.
I also started working out and dressing more carefully, as I worried about his lack of attention or interest in me. Still not aware of the A. His pendulum began to swing back to my side.
He started losing interest in her. He began to do things for me he hadn't done for a while. I got really happy and admired him. I expected him to spend more time with me because we were "happy" again. ( My unhappiness was directly the result that once he started the A he began withholding love and affection and time and conversation from me, he was getting those needs met elsewhere, I was not getting mine met. The A, even though I didn't know about it, made our marriage unhappy, which continued in a vicious cycle to draw him to her.)
I realized when he continued to spend time away that something was very very wrong. I asked him if he'd been doing something he was ashamed of, never truly believing it could be true. To my devastation he confessed.
one of the first things I realized that sex makes bonds of intimacy between people, and I started meeting his EN (and mine) for passionate sex every chance I could, I re-forged the bond between us, completely severing the intimacy he'd felt with her.
