OK, a lonnngggg time ago, I posted about "raising the bar", when I was going on a date with someone I felt was above my usual league. He and his family own businesses, he has a nice house, he doesn't have kids, and he is a good Christian "nice guy". The date went well, and we talked on the phone that evening.

A couple of weeks went by, and he didn't call (Mr. Slow), and when he DID, I was in a committed relationship, so I politely turned him down. He understood, wished me luck, and said to call him if things didn't work out.

Things didn't work out, so I called him. He was happy to hear from me, and we had Date #2. It went well! We talked on the phone the next night. 2 weeks went by, he called me to go out, I was busy, so he called me the next weekend, and I was committed to someone else, and politely turned him down again. We both expressed our interest in each other, but the timing wasn't working out, etc. He understood, wished me well, and said call him if things didn't work out.

So, I called him yesterday. We talked for a while, and he was glad to hear from me. He was afraid he'd messed up this last time (the 2nd time) when I turned him down. I reassured him that NOW, there's noone else around - I'm not on match anymore, and there's noone else in the picture..... I'd like to see him and get to know him better, and see how things go... and I won't be pulling "that card" a 3rd time. He also said (I didn't bring it up) that he would call more often... that he had run another girl off one time because he called too much... that he likes to talk (which is fine with me!)... so he was trying to do better by not calling so much. hehe.. I told him it's fine to call me more often. He said several times that he was glad to hear from me.

Soooooo His birthday was this past weekend, and I took that as the perfect opportunity to offer to take him out to a birthday dinner. He accepted. I said it's my treat, and he could pick the place. We're going Wed after work.

Soooo.... would a card be OK to give him? Should I give him anything else? I'm thinking NOT, at this point, since it's our 3rd date, over a span of 5 months. But surely a simple, friendly, funny card would be OK?

Also... he offered to come pick me up at my house, but, me being so logical, I figured it would be EASIER to just meet him at the restaurant after work. So we agreed to do that. But, now I'm thinking it would be nice for him to pick me up, even though logically it doesn't make sense because of where I work, where the restaurant is, and where we both live, and it would make it later... and I was thinking we might catch a movie after dinner if we feel like it.... But.... it would be nice to ride together. (And in case anyone's wondering, trust is not an issue. I completely trust riding with him, and him coming by my house.)

Soooo... what do you members of the jury think? Card? Small gift? Ride together or meet there?

First let me say I'm happy for you Faith.

I say card would be very nice, dinner I would think would be gift at this point, and I don't see anything wrong with meeting him there based on your point of work and all. I say take the ride next time though!!

Have a great time!
Karona

I totally agree with everything Karona said!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

And have a great time. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Relax and enjoy his company. And of course keep us posted on the juicy details. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Good for you for calling him and I'm happy for you, too. I agree about the card and dinner, but I think if you'd like him to pick you up, by all means, let him do it! Since you asked him out and you're buying dinner, it would be nice to let him do one chivalrous thing (he can hold the door for you, too <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> ).

Thanks, Ladies! Card, no gift. Gotcha! The ride is still up for debate... I kindof like your chivalry perspective, LetsTry. I'll talk to him again before Wednesday, so I'll feel him out again. I'm sorta leaning toward riding with him.

"Juicy" details? yeah, right. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Yeah! Slow guy may pick up some speed! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> You know I'm interested in hearing how it goes!!! Especially if you get a kiss!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

One thing I would do in this situation-and this is just me-set up the next date when you see him. Like, Saturday, if possible...not sure of your all's logistics. Let him pick you up, ask him in for a glass of wine (if that's your bag!)

But I say, you go girl! Do what you want...what do you have to lose? I myself, WOULD get him a SMALL gift, but that's just me... maybe a Christmas ornament concerning something he likes if he's shared, you can find one for anything! Or maybe a candle...some small item. It will make him feel special and it doesn't have to be big-again, what would you do if he were a girl? What if you and I had met and we were meeting and it was MY birthday and you were taking me out...for margaritas...oh, sorry, sidetracked, but would you get a gal something? If not, that's okay, but I probably would pick something up for a new friend...and definitely some funny card. You could find the perfect one if you take the time! I'm excited for you! PLEASE let us know how it goes!

Oh man... conflicting opinions. Just like the voices in my head LOL. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

GUYS!!!! What do you think???? C'mon, Good MB men.

Oh, Drita, you didn't tell US if you finally got a 6-week kiss or not! ???? hmmmmm ????

Faith-

Definitely a card, and I agree that dinner is your gift. As for the ride, I say have him pick you up. It just makes it cozier, more together. Enjoy!

Take care and God bless!
K

Heck no! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />
He's about out! I'm thinking maybe we are more friends than anything... BUT, FYI, I'm taking him to a hockey game for his birthday if that tells ya anything about a "gift"...? (don't want to hijack...maybe I should just start my own thread!!)
I'm meeting some other dude tomorrow, maybe he'll be more into me!

Card, the dinner is the gift. Keep giving us hope, and stick with the nice guys.

Funny card, dinner is a very fine gift & gesture, meeting there is OK - however next time, let him pick you up.

Have fun, laugh out-loud, enjoy yourself. He may be "the one"!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

FR

Thanks, folks!


You never know! (but no... I'm not counting on it either!) I'll definitely keep ya'll posted. Every relationship I've had has been with VERY different types of men, and this one is definitely different as well. And just like I started out describing, he "seems" out of my league, but not really. But he makes me feel different somehow..... seems like he cherishes and values my time and attention, but doesn't NEED it... (does that make sense?) And that's part of what I wanted when I wanted to "raise the bar", was to get away from needy/clingy men. I dated 1 for a month that wasn't needy/clingy, but he sortof kept shaking me off like I had cooties or something. LOL. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> This one is confident and comfortable in his life, but also gentle and receptive to me.

Thank you all for your input!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> I'll stick with a card only. And I'll run the driving thing past him one more time, but I won't make a big deal out of it.

Date went great! He loved the card, appreciated dinner (he tried to pay anyway! hehe I didn't let him!), and we went to a movie. Chicken Little. We met there, and discovered the restaurant wasn't there anymore. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> He mentioned he really needed to mail something, and I knew where a post office was still open at the mall, so we changed plans and went there. Left my car and rode together to the restaurant and movie, then back to my car. SO we ended up riding together for part of the evening! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

He opened ALLLLLL the doors for me. And I remembered the tips you guys gave on other threads, and made sure I sat close to him in the movie <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />.

We hugged good-night, and he kissed my cheek. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

We said we'd go out again, and he said maybe a movie at his house, but we didnt set a date.

Enough boring details? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

You go girl!!! I've been wondering about you all night!!! I'm so happy for you!!!

P.S. Say a prayer for me I have a major job interview tomorrow morning!

hugs and night

Me...
Card. Not a funny one though.
For he didn't deserve a gift, not yet, and you are not a gentleman. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Ride together. Somehow respect you and add value more...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Hahaha
I shouldn't read just the first post. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

However, I'm glad you enjoyed and had a nice date!!

Faith,

Sounds like a great night for you! I'm happy for ya!

Faith~~

Your date sounds like it went great!
Ahhh, the romance!

"We hugged good-night, and he kissed my cheek."
Mr Slow picked up the pace a little bit! I think this was a perfect ending! So sincere!

Can't wait to hear updates.

Karona

Cool, he went to a "chick flick" with you... hee hee!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Sounds like it went GREAT, I'm excited for you! Thanks for keep us "posted" (I'm on a roll this morning!) and let us know when he calls! It better not be in two weeks!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

And you got a kiss already! I'm so jealous!

Take care!

My thoughts are with you this morning on your interview Karona, go get 'em!!!

Shoot! Sorry AGE, I meant good luck to you on your interview!!!

Not needy/clingy. But, confident, comfortable with himself and gentle and receptive to the woman.

Great advice Faith! I will remember it.

This advice is so good, I have to post it twice!

Not needy/clingy. But, confident, comfortable with himself and gentle and receptive to the woman.

Great advice Faith! I will remember it.

Thank you all for your support. It's so nice to have you all here!!!!

allurin.... lemme know how that interview went! I was rootin for ya!

Justin - I'm glad that was helpful for you. After spending 4 more hours with him last night, that description still fits him!

Faith, some of us are living through you! It's a thrill for me to see you excited, makes me excited!

Thank you for the good wishes D! even though it wasn't me, but it's nice to know your thoughts were there.

And how did you do Alluring? Let us know!

K!

Don't want to highjack your wonderful thread so I'll just give a brief summary of the interview.

I've been a SAHM for 15 years with only a few part time jobs here and there. The job market STINKS in the small community I live in. Tuesday there was a job in the paper for a job at the newspaper office, Tuesday I mailed my resume in, Wednesday she called me for an interview for this morning. Almost like it's meant to be but I don't want to jinx myself. She was very nice and I think it went quite well. The interview lasted 45 minutes...I've never had one last that long...usually 15 minutes and you're outta there!

The position is for a District Sales Manager in the Circulation Department. Great benefits and salary! Which we(kids and I) need BIG time!

I am really praying hard...and I believe if it's God's will then it will happen. This could potentially be a prayer answered right before our eyes.

sorry for my little highjacking.

Faith,

Like Karona said...it's so nice to live through you and your happiness. You deserves every bit of this and I'm sooooo happy for you!!! I hope he knows what a gem he has in front on him in you!

HUGS!!! and thank you all for your prayers...I can feel them!!

I'm glad it went well, allurin! I'll keep prayin for ya! You can threadjack anytime!

Thanks sweetie!!

He called last night (glad he picked up the pace a little!), but I was out. I called him back this morning, and we talked for a bit, and he asked me out for next Friday night. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> He's going to pick me up. And he said he'll call me tomorrow. I don't guess I can call him Mr. Slow anymore. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> I was hoping he wanted to do something tonight - I really wanted to go to his house and watch a game or a movie, but, I knooowwwwwwww... take things slower this time Faith!

Okay, so we could call him, Mr. Pace???
That's great Faith. He is showing interest in a large way asking you out a week in advance.

He may have had a previous obligation tonight, or maybe he didn't want to seem to eager. Whatever the case, I don't think you need to worry about it, because he's thinking well in advance and being sure he is getting your time.

Enjoy the slowness of it. Try not to rush it.

I can't wait for more updates!

Karona

You are so right Karona!!!! Those are SUCH good points. Thank you so much!!!

hmmm Mr. Pace. That's pretty good! I kindof like what Drita said: Mr. Not-So-Slow, or NSS. LOL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Okay, I'm wondering??
Any more calls from Mr. NSS/Nice Guy?

Nibby minds you know!

K!

Faith,
Did he call yesterday like he said he would? Did you make plans for Friday? Or are they already made?

I found another book to read...I'll post on the other thread!

Not to take over your thread Faith, but.....

Update on my Mr. Slow.
No, he has not called anymore, but....

I talked to a friend who graduated HS with him, and she knew him pretty well.
I asked her about him yesterday, told her I went out with him. She rolled her eyes and said, I heard that.
I told her to spill, what do you know?

She said, in school, he was arrogant, thought he was better than everyone. She said, if he were female, he would have been the female equivalent of the popular snob group.

So, that explains why he didn't ask me any questions. He probably felt I should be honored to be in his presence and be seen with him.
Can you imagine? 38 and think that highly of yourself?

K!

Karona!
That is SO unfair of you to judge this guy on what this gal said!!
How long ago was school, for one thing? How much have you changed since school? What would people say about you and would it be accurate now?
I try to NEVER judge people on what others say. 1) They come from a totally different background that me and they will have a totally different view of people/circumstances. 2) People change, especially at his age... 3) She could be jealous!

Did you get the feeling he felt highly of himself? Maybe he is now shy, after getting that ego broken and has a hard time letting people in.

Let me tell you, my reputation in HS- I smoked in the bathroom, was a "bad girl" that everyone was afraid of!!!
That just blows me away! (I heard about this at my recent reunion!) I'm SO far from that now!

Perhaps you're right Drita, and need to be reminded about people and perceptions. Based on the way my date went with him, I pegged it as accurate.

He didn't act interested in my at all. He knows I have a daughter in the HS band. We went to a game together. The band performed at Halftime. I was surprised that he didn't ask who she was. I didn't offer because I felt he was rude about it.

He is 38, still lives at home with mom and dad. Seems strange to me.

I felt there were flags concerning him, and this summed them up for me.
I considered him nice, but couldn't at all figure out why he didn't ask 1 question about me. I just figure, me being divorced, two girls, big red flags should wave. Maybe he truly doesn't care.

As far as me since HS? for the most part, my values/beliefs/way I handle myself are the same, but I'm not as quiet as I was then.
I'm sure some thought I was a snob, but if they knew me, they would have known I was quiet. That being said, I would say you are right about people and realizing perception could be fogged.

Thanks!
K!

I forgot he was living with mommy and daddy still.
He may still not be the right one, but I just hate the thought of someone judging me on someone else's perception. If you meet me, get to know me and don't like, fine, but I just hate it when people judge others based on one person's opinion. I, for one, would have far fewer friends if I listened to everyone. I'm on a person to person basis. I don't welcome negative comments from anyone... make sense?
For example, I met that guy last week off of a dating website-we just met for coffee to see if there was any "chemistry", and I didn't feel any-obviously he didn't either, but I have a three date rule, because how can really tell if you might like someone after 30 minutes? Chemistry MAY build, and actually these days I would rather it did -AFTER I know them a bit, because then it's the whole package I'm digging, not just the physical.
Hope that makes sense... wait... am I hijacking?
So sorry...

I don't mind the hijacking at all! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

No, he didn't call last night, like he said. Not TOO concerned - we'll see what happens next.

I am another one that is shy/quiet, and therefore some people think I'm a snob. When I learned this my senior year in high school, I was FLOORED! Me???? a Snob??? I was the shyest, most insecure person there was. Somehow, over the years, I learned more, that insecurity, shyness, etc, REALLY is being SO absorbed with yourself, it's just as bad as being conceited. You are constantly worried about what others think of you, that you can't think of anyone else. This produces the same symptoms you are complaining about Karona. This person (shy, or conceited, either one) doesn't know how to talk to the other person about them. I have had to learn, and sometimes it's still difficult, to ask questions about the other person, and make conversation.

I'll keep you posted about Mr. NSS.

Oh Faith... good point indeed on the insecurity issue!

I don't like that NSS didn't call you though. this is a HUGE issue for me though. I mean, I'm REALLY bad about it, but know it!!! I desire someone who follows through and does what they say they are going to do! I DETEST (friend or otherwise) when someone says they will call me and they don't! ARG!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />
But that's just me! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

I agree, somewhat, Drita. I guess I sortof "keep score" though. If he has enough in his favor, to overlook something like that, I can handle it. Especially when part of the problem may be me (I may have been online - yes dial-up <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> , and then he got busy), and so I can give him the benefit of the doubt.... for now. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

See?! Good for you!
I really need to get over my problem with that. Everyone knows it's a huge issue for me.
I know the source-why I'm that way, but don't know how to get over it.

Faith, thank you for allowing us to live vicariously through you. Dating is hard. Enjoy it.

Red Alert!! Danger! This is a much bigger warning sign that what somebody said about how he acted in HS.

38 and still living at home?!?! If he is caring for parents who can't care for themselves that is a good thing, though you have to wonder what life would be like married to a man with such a burden. But, if his parents are capable of living on their own and he is still living at home at 38?!?! One wonders what went wrong.

Let me say,
He never told me that he still lived at home, but I have been told this by at 3 people who know him, and I don't believe they are making it up.

Based on what he had told me about his parents, I would say they are very healthy. His father refs games and hunts, and his mother attends the games that this fellow coaches.

It's just one of those strange dating situations.

Karona

Sooo.... I haven't heard from him yet! OK.... I think I'll call him tomorrow and let him have it! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> LOL just kiddin.... but I do think I'll call. Wonder what's up with him? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

OK, so he finally called last night. Wednesday night. Remember - he said he was going to call Sunday night. Yes, I'm online, SOMETIMES, but not ALL the time. I know it's frustrating to try to call someone and not be able to reach them, and then get busy doing something else, or, perhaps, get tied up on the phone, or whatever. BUT... he also has my cell phone and work numbers. He was on the road last night, and seemed in a hurry, so he said he would call me again today at work, so that we would have more time, and I could give him directions to my house. He also said he was looking forward to Friday night.

Now... part of me is trying to take all this as a lesson in patience, and taking things slow, because I need to learn these things. In my limited number of relationships, things have always been more intense, more quickly, and I LOVE attention.

But... part of me is wondering what is strange about him that I can't identify yet. Or... part of me is not even interested in going out Friday because he hasn't shown me why he's interested in me. I guess it should be enough that he asked me out, and he follows through with the date, and I should see how the date goes. That proves he's interested. I'm just used to more phone calls... MORE interest.... so this feels like he's not interested in getting to know me. S-L-O-W

I'm sortof wondering if I should say any of this to him. Probably not, huh? Or ask any questions, like if he's just been busy, or ... I dunno. But in the very early stages like this, there's not a lot to go on to determine someone's character, so NOT calling when you say demonstrates a LOT about your character.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

oh! I know! Drink margaritas and let him drive! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Did you ask him why he didn't call Sunday like he said he would...or even say Sorry I missed your call Sunday...I was online longer than I thought I would be...something to that effect...lead him into answering without sounding like you are badgering him. Ya know?

No. I couldn't think of what to say without sounding like I was whining/nagging/complaining/etc. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> Those are good ideas! I wish I had an MB Angel committee sitting on my shoulder 24/7!

You and me both sista!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

We need a phone a friend list!!! LOL

hee hee! Yes, the margaritas aside... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

You know, Faith, I wish we lived closer. I don't know where you live, but you and I sound so much alike that I'd LOVE to meet you!

Here's my thought, and you know I'm suffering a little from this myself from mr no kissie-face (before you ask, no!).

He's off and he's on. I feel the same way when he is off.
I think you are on the right track, just wait and see, as hard as it is. My problem, as I've said before, is I just want to KNOW... BUT!!! Let's remember our books!
When HE's off, I feel like it's something to do with me...WRONG!!!

I guess what I'm looking at here is that this is unlike anything before. I think that's what I need right now! Not what I WANT, but what I need!! One day I'm thinking...ah, just forget it, the next, I'm thinking, boy, sure like this guy!

And again, I think there are mixed signals in my situation.
I just keep myself busy, work him in when I can, and not worry about it (for the most part!).

IF him not calling when he says he will (like I told you REALLY bothers me), then I would just ask him to not to say when he is going to call... because I get a little "anticipated" about an expected incoming call and want him to call if he says he's going to.

I think he is interested, just not what you are used to.
So...you have to ask yourself...TODAY is it okay? Worry about tomorrow when it comes!

Faith~~

As iritating as it is, I think I would let it go at this point.

If dates progress in frequency, and the call thing happens then, I think it would be safe to ask.
It's so early in your dating, that it may come across pushy.

Just my opinion. But, also remember I'm not real experienced in this dating either.

Still reading and living thru ya!
Karona

Faith -- I say GO BOLD. Just say whats on your mind!

Wait until after your date, if he's still Mr. Slow then say something. Why not?

aaargghhh... OK... it's 4:10. He hasn't called. He said he would call today.... I have to say something now. Whenever he calls I'm going to say I'm not sure if I still want to see him tomorrow night. ... that I'm not pushy or demanding, but he's not proving himself to be very good at keeping his word... and I'm not sure that's someone I want to date.

He will either understand my feelings, apologize and explain himself, and want to go still go out with me anyway, or, he will think I'm overreacting, or otherwise say "fine, have a nice life" and let me go.

I'm OK either way, but I have to say something, and see which way he chooses to go. He either needs to do better beginning now, or else we don't even need to get started, or I don't want this.

Good girl!!! I'm with you on this!!! As the boundry book states...Nip it in the Bud! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I think you do need to address it. Otherwise its an extremely annoying habit that will doom your relationship anyways.

I can't stand when people don't do what they say they're gonna do. Simple as that.

I have a good friend that I was going to go out with Saturday nite. Talked to him at 3pm....told him the whole plan. We were supposed to meet some other friends for dinner at 6:30.
I call him at 6, he won't answer. Try for the next hour to get ahold of him. Call the other friends and tell them I'll meet them (alone) at the next destination.

I try the rest of the evening every so often (cuz I'm worried...) I try the next day. Still not calling me back or answering my messages (and this is someone who LIVES with his cell phone glued to his hand!)

Finally on Monday I hear from him. After determining that no major crisis or emergency had happened, I asked why exactly he stood me up and didn't take my calls.

Bottom line: he got caught up in stuff at home, thought I would be "mad" so just avoided and ignored me until he thought I would have "calmed down."

Well, big critical mistake on his part. Because I am an understanding person if something comes up and you need to cancel plans. I am NOT understanding about being ignored, disrespected, and being treated inconsiderately. So he is OFF the friend list. Now I won't return his calls. Oh well.

I say we skip the guys, and us girls go out for Margarita's!

Anyone interested??

Karona!

Count me in!

looooove Margaritas!

Alright... I got home and he left a message at 5. He sincerely apologized for not calling today - had a hectic day - blah blah. He said we would call tonight or tomorrow, because he still needs directions. I'm glad he apologized. I guess that's the main thing. If he had acted like it was no big deal, I'd be really ticked. He said we'd go see Narnia. Yay! I want to see that, and I'm glad he picked something, because I was kindof nervous that he was still wanting me to pick what I wanted to do. (I am very happy when they plan the dates.)

Sooo... I know this still needs to be addressed somehow, if we continue to date... if anything, from the angle Drita suggested that he not make promises he may not be able to keep: i.e. when he will call. For now, since he apologized, and sounded like he had a rough day, I will enjoy being treated tomorrow night. This is an "annoying habit", not necessarily a deal-breaker, in the whole scheme of things, ya know? I am not trying to excuse him. I am not trying to settle. But it is OK if I learn some patience. I will just have to watch for patterns.

I'm kindof liking Karona's idea, though. Girls nite out!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

It would be great! Can you imagine the fun we could have??

I say let it go for now Faith. Only for now. If this continues to be a pattern, then I say address it!

I like attention too, and do not enjoy feeling un-thought about.
I still say though, that he wanted your time a week ago when he made the date. The lack of phone calls seems a bit off, but, maybe he is trying not to be pushy.

I'm very glad he apologized!

HEY! At least he called today and not tomorrow or the next day OR not at all to apologize. I agree...let it go for now. Remember he screwed things up last time with that other woman...he needs retrained...cut him some slack and enjoy!! enjoy!! enjoy!!

He sounds like a good guy...he may be a keeper!

Now...who's bellying up to the bar with me??

I agree girls. THanks! I must be doin sumthin right. AGG hasn't come in here with his 2x4. Justin hasn't piped in lately either! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Hey, I'm enjoying a cup of egg-nog instead of margaritas... where are u??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

They are waiting in the wings for me to post something stupid about J <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

LOL

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

You're better than me Faith. At least you have a date!

I did get an invite tonight to a friends house for Christmas Eve. That's been bothering me lately. My girls go with their dad for the Eve. I don't have family near me, and it was really getting to me to be alone.
I will be the only non-couple there, but at least I will be with friends.

Hey, I ordered the first pitcher, pass me your glass!

Karona

**Slides over her 32 ounce glass and says fill yer up g/f**

hehe... Drita is missing the rita's!!!!

I'm glad you have somewhere to go Christmas Eve. I don't know what I'll be doin! Yuck! Too far in the future.... I guess I can go to my sister's if I'm not with Mr. (ummmm) NSS? He needs a new name.

Yea! Faith! That's great, and I agree about the apologies!

I wanna go for margaritas! Did you guys know that my nickname is Dellarita for that very reason?! I'm VERY well known for my drink of choice and they are YUMMY!!!!

So we have a date for Christmas Eve? Wouldn't that be fun? I gotta go someplace warm though! I could use a vacation like no other, I'll tell ya!

I like the big fishbowl margaritas! Jose is my boyfriend. I almost called my puppy Jose, but I called him Romeo instead!

It's "warm" here. Come to my house for Christmas Eve! We'll have fun! I'm off for several days around Christmas. woo-hoo!

Well, he called, and we finally have our plans for tonight. He was very sweet, apologized again - said "I didn't want you to think that I don't do what I say I'm going to do" LOL... I didnt whine, complain, nag or anything of the sort! Ok .. I did tell him thank you for the message last night, that I really apprciated it, because I was wondering....

Drita, I had a fish named Romeo after my divorce. hehe <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />.

Very good Faith. I hope you enjoy your date tonight.

Hey, if I lived near you, I would come by for Christmas Eve.
I'm so thankful a friend invited me over. I can't stand being along on the very special days. It will all be couples there and me, but at least I won't be alone.

I have one for ya, my YD has a "frog habitat" she got her tadpole in the mail. I'm keep telling her I'm going to kiss it and make it turn into a prince!

hee hee!
You girls crack me up!

Faith, I think that is AWESOME that he said that! I probably would have said, yes, that's important to me, but he handled it well, most importantly, YOU handled it well and didn't jump the gun! Good goin!

WooooooHooooooo I'm so glad he called!! You best check in here when you get home from your date and fill us in!! We'll be waiting with baited breath... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Faith1 checking in. Not filling you in on all the details! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

hehe... OK.... some of them.... we ran into 2 couples he knows at dinner. We were saying hi to them, And... then a male voice hollered my name from a few tables down, and when I looked, it took me a minute to recognize him. It was my exH's cousin. WEIRD! I haven't seen him since Christmas 2001, before ANYTHING went wrong in our marriage. I have often wondered if they knew what happened. He and his 3 and1/2 yo son were out christmas shopping for his W. He doesn't talk to exH much anymore (not surprising), and yes, he is aware of what happened (not sure of the affair part, but he was aware of the divorce). I introduced him to my date. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> And told him to tell his W hello and merry christmas. Very strange feeling to run into exH's family.

Narnia was VERY good!!!!

Then he brought me home and said good night. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

yeahhhhhhhhhh andddddddddd??????? come on!!! no fair leaving the good stuff out!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />


hehehehe <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Sounds like you are happy with your date! And I'm happy for you Faith.

I hope he follows up with a phone call today or tomorrow!

Yes, that would be weird running into x's family with someone else. I do feel though, that this guy would not have called out your name if there were any ill feelings, and given the fact he doesn't talk to his cousin/your x much speaks volumes!
My OD talked to my x's brother/her uncle the other day. He cared for me a lot and was very involved in helping to try to recover our marriage. He asked her if I was dating? She told him no.......that was weird for me to hear.

Sending good thoughts your way Faith!
Karona

Faith! No fair!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />
That's all you're going to give us?
He picked you up, right? Goodnight kiss? Good morning kiss...??? hee hee, j/k!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Seriously, let's hear more about the DATE, not about x stuff! here and now baby! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

HEY -- it was my kid weekend, so I got no romance. Let me have some of yours!
TELL US MORE!

She's soooooo good at keepin secrets!! LOL

He picked me up, we ate, we saw a movie, he took me home........... we said good-night, he left. <giggle>

Ok, there was a tiny good-night kiss. OK. 3 tiny good-night kisses. That's all. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Gosh I could use a tiny good night kiss!! I'm sooo jealous!! BUT SOOOOOO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!!!

WOW!! One can certainly tell we love living vicariously through you Faith...80...well NOW 81 posts on this thread...LOL

Cool! Have you talked since?

Hey now, I haven't had a kiss for seven months.
It's all good though. I haven't been ready for one either.

So, has he called Faith? [gosh, if he only knew the drill we put you thru]

Still living thru you, and glad for you!

Karona

What!!!! Faith1 did not ravish the guy on the spot???
I am shocked!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHA Justin

Faith must be one of those young gals under 50.
Most 50+ women aren't so reserved, IF they like the guy.

ppfftt I beg to differ....LOL

Ha! Justin... yeah, can ya believe it? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> remember... I am trying things different this time and taking things slower! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Lex, he said he'd call me soon. I text msg'd him today (a first, for us), and he called me back and left a message (I was away from my phone). He said he'd call tonight, and would like to go out Wed night. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Oh, he is stepping up the pace isn't he??!!!
This is neat!
K!

Wow! He's REALLY picking up the pace now! He's INTO YOU!
; )
Have fun, enjoy! Stay grounded! But eat it all up! YUM!

I don't know if I'm into him. *sigh*

We talked for about 45 min. last night. It was a good conversation. There's still something kindof awkward, not too bad, but I can't put my finger on it. We're going out Wed night. Bowling, then back to my house to watch a movie. (I'm off on Thursday - YAY!).

I think... he just doesn't know how to communicate in a way to make a woman feel ... I dunno ... special. I don't know why he likes me. Ya know? I was surprised to get a kiss at all, like, I couldn't believe he had it in him. He's almost like a little boy, and, there's a reason why he's 39 and never married, and I'm trying not to hold that against him. Maybe it's never been right for him. No, I'm not going to try to force this, but I feel like I do need to give it some more time and see what happens. .... without leading him on.....

My best friend is dating a guy in his mid-thirties who has never had a girlfriend. I think its never gone past a few dates. They've now been dating about 3 months.

He's doesn't really know how to handle a lot of situations. When you said "he's like a little boy" -- it reminded me of her situation. He's almost like a puppy -- good hearted, friendly, eager -- just doesn't have it all together yet. Its kinda like she's got to train him. He treats her kinda like his "buddy." He's just really out of his element with the whole romance aspect of it.

How experienced is your guy with dating?

YAY!!!
Good plan! And if nothing else, this can just be a good experience for you...see what you can learn from him, even if it is what you DON'T want...

Enjoy getting to know him, that might take a bit of the awkwardness away. Take it SLOW!!! (but at least you got some lip action!)
Did you feel anything with those kisses?

GREAT THOUGHTS, girls!!! Thank you!

I know he has some dating experience, and I know I asked him about long-term relationships. It seems like he had a relationship that lasted about 2 years.

Did I feel anything? hmmm.... not the usual "wow"... but... appreciation for them... the warmth... the intention behind them that he wanted to kiss me... to be closer to me... and... it was nice to not be attacked.

I just got back from the doctor and had more intimacy with him than I've in a LONG time! It was kinda nice! ; )
Being close to a man (although this was a professional thing), you (I) didn't realize I was missing it, I guess!

That "wow" might come with time... check out my upcoming post on the book club thread you started!
I had time to read it while waiting on my touchy dr!

ruh roh.....so he's got no game, huh? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

I like confidence in a man. Nice quiet confidence, one who is comfortable in his own skin, and comfy around women, comfy in showing his interest w/o seeming pushy, KWIM?

I agree w/ others. Don't give up just yet, but listen to your gut.....

DW

Thanks DW. We will see how it goes tonight. Movie-time at my house should be opportunity for some cuddling and more lip-action. We'll see what he does, and what the comfort-level is like.

Meanwhile.... at work.... my friend that I wonder could be more... but we are good friends... actually suggested that we go to lunch today! I can't believe it. Today is our last day to be at work together this "year", because of our vacations back-to-back, so when I was talking about that yesterday "our last day together" blah blah... he said "Oh, then lets go to lunch and celebrate the end of 2005". yay <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Life is picking up there Faith!!

Enjoy!
Karona