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Peachy -

In school I worked for the bloodbank. Your method of testing for STD's is completely CRAZY. Sorry, but we need a safe blood supply, and donating blood should NOT be the method of testing for STDs.

There are all kinds of STDs that the bloodbank screening won't pick up. That is why donor's are asked not to donate if they have practiced risky sex.

Peach, oh wise one, I have to agree with the California chickie here. Your a smart, educated and vibrant woman, but your method above is pretty ignorant to say the least. That is a "poor man's" method of screening for STD's. Yeah, it could potentially probably lower your overall risk, but it would NOT be advice I would give people on this.

I think you hit it on the head in another post. If one is gonna make the adult decision to have sex, why not ask your potential partner to get tested first.....FORMALLY tested. Anyone who has nothing to hide and respects themselves and you WON't balk at this.

I want to make sure people understand that I am NOT advocating abstinence, but just sound, educated, precaution. Even in this case, one could contract an STD. But just the same, driving my car to work I could be hit by a bus and killed.....to lower this risk, I wear a seat belt and don't drive drunk. It is all pretty simple actually.

Just my .02.

Lem


Some people just don't get it, they don't get it that they don't get it.

I had the right to remain silent.......but I didn't have the ability.
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There are all kinds of STDs that the bloodbank screening won't pick up.

And if you go to your Dr. or a Health Dept clinic for tests.
They give you the basic syphilis, gonoreah, HIV, Clamidia, etc...like they did me.
They DO NOT mention HPV, or other STD virus's, I'm sure are going throughout the world. Why don't they mention HPV as a standard test if it is one of the most common as LM says??

And is HPV in the blood. Is it part of standard testing before giving blood? Probably not!! Scary thought.

Lady

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There are all kinds of STDs that the bloodbank screening won't pick up.

Believer, this really is making me nervous, because I have surgery at the end of the month and Dr said if I don't have my blood count up by 2 more points, I have to have a blood transfusion during surgery. Please pray.

Lady

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Why don't they mention HPV as a standard test if it is one of the most common as LM says??

And is HPV in the blood. Is it part of standard testing before giving blood? Probably not!! Scary thought.

Lady

LS:

The truth of the matetr is in part "ignorance" and in part "practicality". There are almost one hundred strains of Human Papilloma Virus, MOST of which are harmless. The lesions (warts) that arise from this, are by and large HARMLESS....at least, physically...ohviously, emotionally this is a different story.

There are 2 particular strains (HPV 16 and 18- I think) that are linked to cervical cancer....which in REALITY would be picked up by an annual pap smear ALL women of age to have Sex should be having anyway. SO that is the likely rationale for not screeing for this. Certainly in screening for blood, it would not matter if someone had HPV, as it is a disease trasmitted by genital contact...NOT through blood borne mechanisms.

Testing for HPV when there is no active or visible lesions would be very expensive and difficult to do in a global sense. Many of us would have some form of HPV positivity.....not necessarily active genital warts. You can test for HPV with serological DNA testing, but this is probably very expensive, and many insurances may not pay for it anyways.

The main issue with contracting HPV (for a woman anyways) besides the obvious psychological burden is the link to Cervical Cancer. If you get annual PAP testing, this should be caught early enough to do something about it. I fully realize that this is probably of no help to you "NOW in the moment" or any "comfort"...but I thought I would give you a ratioinale anyways.

Lem <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


Some people just don't get it, they don't get it that they don't get it.

I had the right to remain silent.......but I didn't have the ability.
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Very sad update.

A sad update?! Ditch the ****** pig! Give me a break...


End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Gandalf; RotK
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yes, sadly true about the hpv virus.

so many things aren't initially screened for. Just the biggie ones...the huge tombstone makers that is.

One of my former coworkers, is gay. He is a wonderful man. He has been involved with a man who is his long term partner. About 10 years together. They are very kind people. HIs partner is positive. And my friend, thru being safe, has never seroconverted. So safe sex works mostly I believe.

Unless you choose to live in a bubble, you have to decide what you are willing to accept in your life.

Benefit vs. Risk basically.

Lady, I think you will be fine with the surgery. Again, hon, the benefit will usually outweigh the risk...if not, then your doc would NOT ask you to have the surgery...or he or she would have taken some time to discuss this with you at length.

I would feel fine knowing this. When my ds was a preemie, he had to have a transfusion. I was unable to give since I had had a c section...I was sooooo upset. My doc, a friend ofmine, discussed the probabilities he'd catch something from blood with me at length. We felt very safe. My ds is fine. And we'll keep you in prayers ok?


me:37 BS; s:7; xh:38; OW:26;eloped w/OW 1 wk after D: 12/29/03. OC born 3/17/04. Happy! Blessed to be the mother of a wonderful son..great profession..Life's good!
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Very sad update.

A sad update?! Ditch the ****** pig! Give me a break...

Boss....I have to be honest with you here, you are gonna ram sacked by some people here if you keep up with your posts in this nature. Not saying that I necessarily disagree with you one bit...but "tact" may be somehthing that you should look into. It will probably serve you well in your life.

What is your story?

Lem <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


Some people just don't get it, they don't get it that they don't get it.

I had the right to remain silent.......but I didn't have the ability.
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LM - You are becoming more and more "politically correct".

Lady - I would not worry about getting a transfusion. The blood here is very safe.

Peachy - Please put down the tequilas. When you give blood, they ask you questions about your sexual practices for a reason. They ask you not to donate if you have had multiple partners and have not practiced safe sex.

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There are 2 particular strains (HPV 16 and 18- I think) that are linked to cervical cancer....which in REALITY would be picked up by an annual pap smear ALL women of age to have Sex should be having anyway. SO that is the likely rationale for not screeing for this. Certainly in screening for blood, it would not matter if someone had HPV, as it is a disease trasmitted by genital contact...NOT through blood borne mechanisms.


LM thanks for putting that back into perspective for me, it's not blood born. I had a normal pap in March. Dr. cannot give me a pap now because of my prolapse, and nearing surgery, the nurse told me this on yesterday. That may change when I talk to him on Tuesday, but she sounded assured of that. She also explained this...any abnormal pap could be pre-cancerous or cancerous. So if a test comes out abnormal and cervical cancer is detected, they then test for HPV. HPV is not a regular part of a pap, unless it is requested, or unless a pap comes back abnormal.


So, this is what I am understanding, women will never know if they have HPV unless they have lesions (warts) or an HPV requested test with their pap smear.

Men will never know if they have HPV unless they have lesions (warts).

Lady

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Peachy, Thanks for your comforting words. I'm glad your DS made it through, that must have been frightening for you. The benefit outweighed the risk. I'm going to try my hardest to get my blood count up.

And for now...I am choosing to live in a bubble.

I don't know if I will ever have a SF with my H again.

He is terribly greived tonight, crying. He told me that even if he said he is sorry, it won't cover it. He said he deserved it. He said he is more worried about me than himself. He is so angry at himself. He literally got on his knees in the laundry room praying and crying so hard. It's all so sad. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Lady

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"Tact" is something my wife has claimed I never had. And I agree. Sorry. I call things like I see them. Don't condemn me; maybe I'm what some on this site need? Have you thought of that? Sugar coating things isn't what all people need to hear.

You seem to agree with me in regards to this particular topic, however you're more subtle than I will ever be, but don't trample my style in the hopes of making yourself look good.

I get trod on in all aspects of life, and simply because you're an MD in "reality", here, we're equal. Don't call me Boss, okay Doc? I don't appreciate your chest beating. This woman has got an STD from a "man" who "claimed" to "love" her, and she's saying it's okay? ****** man, what's wrong with you?! What tact do you need to tell her that what she's going through is OKAY?!! ****** man!

People need to be slapped around in order to be awoken. LadySheep is one of them. Sacrifice tact or delution? I prefer tact. Sorry to be a [censored], nothing personal, but defending someone who's got a disease from repeated infidelity is just WRONG!

Last edited by EndlessHorizon; 12/10/05 10:36 PM.

End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Gandalf; RotK
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This woman has got an STD from a "man" who "claimed" to "love" her, and she's saying it's okay?
If you were understanding correctly, I don't believe I have the STD, as I have only had one time with my H in 4 months, Nov 1st I slipped with H. We don't know if I have anything yet. Dr. has seen nothing on me, but I have an appt. on Tues. about this. And I never said anything is Okay! In fact it's far from okay right now. EH you have such a WS mind, foggy!!

Sugar coating things isn't what all people need to hear.

This coming from a man (Endless Horizon) who thinks having sex with porn pictures online is okay.... and not harmful to anyone.

LM, don't listen to EH, he is terribly rude, abusive, etc...



Lady

Last edited by ladysheep; 12/10/05 10:47 PM.
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Well Lady - I wish my WH had chosen to have sex with porn pictures. Instead he chose to have unprotected sex with the OW who had a history of being promiscuous. And I didn't find out for 5 months. All that time, he continued having sex with me, sometimes on the same day that he boinked her.

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Believer, I understand what you are saying. That is horrible what he did to you too, and he put you in a very dangerous position to get an STD!! No one can get an STD from a porn picture, but nonetheless, it's sexually immoral IMHO, and I'm not sugar coating that.

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"Tact" is something my wife has claimed I never had. And I agree. Sorry. I call things like I see them. Don't condemn me; maybe I'm what some on this site need. Have you thought of that? Sugar coating things isn't what all people need to hear.

You seem to agree with me in regards to this particular topic, however you're more subtle than I will ever be, but don't trample my style in the hopes of making yourself look good.

I get trod on in all aspects of life, and simply because you're an MD in "reality", here, we're equal. Don't call me Boss, okay Doc? I don't appreciate your chest beating. This woman has got an STD from a "man" who "claimed" to "love" her, and she's saying it's okay? ****** man, what's wrong with you?! What tact do you need to tell her that what she's going through is OKAY?!! ****** man!

People need to be slapped around in order to be awoken. LadySheep is one of them. Sacrifice tact or delution? I prefer tact.

Ok, EH, I will give you some validity here. But my overall point is, given that you want to "help" people here, hammering them and ramrodding them with tactless and rude comments is NOT likely to be heard.

Even if what you are saying is true, it will NOT get heard or prcoessed if you wrap it up and deliver it the way you are doing.

For the record, I don't need to harp on you to make myself "look" good here...LOL. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I have been here for over a year, and it doesn't matter what I say next to you or anyone else, people have their "mind" made up about me all the same. I can't possibly "change" my "standing" or perception here given I have over 2000 posts. Trying to make you "look bad" would serve me no purpose at all.

I will apologize for using the word "boss" with you. It is actually a term of endearment, and was not meant faceitously.

Either way, as I well know, your not likely to get your POV accross doing things your way. Trust me I know. But, you do what you want, makes not differenc to me.

Lem <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

P.S. You probably have no friggin idea how incredibly ironic this statement was by you;

I call things like I see them. Don't condemn me; maybe I'm what some on this site need. Have you thought of that? Sugar coating things isn't what all people need to hear.


I am actually dying laughing inside right now. And it is not because I am making fun of you. Some people reading tongight, will understand this.


Some people just don't get it, they don't get it that they don't get it.

I had the right to remain silent.......but I didn't have the ability.
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Well I will call this segment Lemonman meets his clone.

Lady - While I agree that porn is not helpful to a marriage, there is a whole lot worse immorality. And that is exposing an innocent partner to STDs.

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There are all kinds of STDs that the bloodbank screening won't pick up.

And if you go to your Dr. or a Health Dept clinic for tests.
They give you the basic syphilis, gonoreah, HIV, Clamidia, etc...like they did me.
They DO NOT mention HPV, or other STD virus's, I'm sure are going throughout the world. Why don't they mention HPV as a standard test if it is one of the most common as LM says??

And is HPV in the blood. Is it part of standard testing before giving blood? Probably not!! Scary thought.

Lady

Our standard of practice (currently) is to do a cervical HPV swab (actually a funny looking brush on a stick) along with a pap smear.

The HPV screening along with a pap has only been standard practice .... ummmm .... about a year or so.

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Well Lady - I wish my WH had chosen to have sex with porn pictures. Instead he chose to have unprotected sex with the OW who had a history of being promiscuous. And I didn't find out for 5 months. All that time, he continued having sex with me, sometimes on the same day that he boinked her.

And now you can see why I consider myself lucky. My wife only had an EA with someone on the internet. Sexually at that! "I miss you", "You're the first thing I think of when I wake." It makes me sick! I can only imagine what Ladysheep is going through, let alone forgives! That to me (what she is going through) is a nightmare! My thoughts go out to you LadySheep. I'm sorry that people that you thought love you could do this to you. It turns my stomach. It's SO wrong.


End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Gandalf; RotK
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"I'll pay half if you do talk to SH. You know that I try to encourage folks here to save their marriages. And you know of the member here whose WW died of AIDS (by the way, he is still testing negative). She was a health care worker.

I'll pay the whole tab, and show up as the poster child for this...I'm the "member" as believer puts it!

Lemonman has campaigned long and hard (to anyone who would listen) warning of the dangers inherent to unprotected sex with wayward spouses as well as imploring all concerned to have themselves and their spouses/significant others undergo testing for STD's.

I'll stop short of saying that Dr. H's lack of "coverage" of this is a disservice to those he (and this site) are attempting to help, but I will say that it's definitely an oversight that really does need to be addressed.

LM, you once said that anything you could do, just ask...well my friend, JUST KEEP SPREADING THE GOSPEL. If I have to be the "poster child", then you my friend have to be the "Paul Revere"!


Me, 58
Her, 52 (called away 4/5/2005)
Married 32+
d-day (this time) 6/13/04
children - grown

The highest courage is to dare to be yourself in the face of adversity. Choosing right over wrong, ethic over convenience, and truth over popularity...these are choices that measure your life.
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The HPV screening along with a pap has only been standard practice .... ummmm .... about a year or so.
Pep...Okay, I got my last in march, normal, so does that mean that the HPV test was done with it?

Why did the nurse tell me yesterday HPV test had to be requested with pap or it is not done, or is done only after an abnormal pap?

And you know what.. I did ask if HPV swab could be done only, she said no. That is why I am asking Dr. about this on Tues. I have to be tested somehow, and I'm not waiting until next March!!!

Maybe these Dr's are behind the times...I don't know, but I will talk to the Dr. about this on Tues.

Lady

Last edited by ladysheep; 12/10/05 11:09 PM.
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