lemonman -


Reason sent to your yahoo account.

Update:

My H had the cryosurgery done this week. The topical meds had removed 3 of his GW, but the other 3 were removed by the
cryosurgery which is a freezing of them off. He said it was painful. He is now using an antibiotic cream to heal them the rest of the way.

This whole ordeal has been very disturbing for me. I cannot bring myself to thoughts of a near future SF relations with him yet, because it all still bothers me so much. But we will not be able to have a SF-less marriage, I know that!! What am I gonna do if I continue to have these feelings?

Lady

If your spouse has been cheating, it's best not to resume SF until all STD tests have been done. Protect yourself.

Lady

I felt the need to bump this thread up again.

Another GW has show up on my husband. He see's Dr. again in Jan. He will probably have to have the cyrosurgery again (freezing off).

It makes repairing our marriage much more difficult.
We have no intimacy.
I'm scared of getting his STD.
I'm angry.


The Reality.

(((ladysheep)))

LS,
I think I replied to you a while back, but I'm not sure if it was on this very thread.

I understand your fear, as I have HPV as a result of my FWW's A. It took two surgerys in the course of about one year and thankfully, I have had no recerence for about 3 years now.

I have read that HPV, is not necessarily permanent as we once believed. There are study's now that suggest that this can, eventually be purged from our bodies, after our immune system figures out the "code" to do so.

I am hopeful, but I understand your fear. It is totally justified. With that in mind, SF, which can be a huge part of recovery, becomes instead, a fear to live with.

I have no real answers, but I wish you well in your R.

All Blessings,
Jerry

Wow LS,
I just dug deep into this thread and see I responded to you 1 year ago almost exactly to the day....12/11/05.

Since you bumped this up, I assume your concerns are still very real and fearful.

My wife, for her part, has never exibited any signs from day one of having HPV. Her (lesbion GYN) convinced her that I was lying to her and it was I, and not her, who had contracted HPV!

This was a very difficult point of contention for several months. My FWW began to feel that she had confessed to something that, although guilty, she could have avoided if it were indeed me instead of her. It was CRAZY for a while. I can thank her GYN for that very misleading concept, as I had been nothing but faithful.

My HPV first surfaced almost 3 mos to the day of my FWW's infidelity.. Perfect timing according to the CDC.

I came to accept that this will not kill me, or her for that matter, as long as she gets yearly pap smears and stays completely on top of it.
Much better than not knowing anything at all. Thus, I do not dwell on it, and continue with SF as if nothing is wrong. In reality, that could be be true, but we take the neccessary precautions with our pysicians none the less.
Hope all is well with you,
All Blessings,
Jerry

Hi Jerry,
Yes I remember you. It's good to hear from you. And I'm thankful to know that you have had some hope with 3 years of no reaccurances.
Do to my husbands past (that I didn't know of before marrying him), that he frequented prostitutes now and then. And then during our marriage. I am more fearful.
I'm afraid he's gonna do it again, and possibly not tell me. Then possibly catch something worse, and give it too me.

You know I went on vacation during Thanksgiving (without my husband), and yes scary to leave him home alone for 8 days. And as I was stuck in the Ohare airport due to snow, I met a lady. We started a little conversation. I then asked her where she worked. She told me was like President of Dept of Veneral Disease Management in Michigan (something like that). She began to talk to me about STD's, 40,000 people a year get HIV/Aids in the USA. She kept restating over and over... "It's so preventable." "It's just so preventable." She's seen many die.
She talked about prostitutes not using a condom if thier John tells them not to, depending on the customers request. (I have not told her a thing about my husband at that point, continueing to just listen to her). I then told her about my husband and my fears. She understood.

The next day after arriving home, I asked my husband if he had anything on him and he said "I don't know," in a foggy bluster. I asked if I could look. And yes he did, and he made an appt with Dr.
He said he noticed it about 4 days after I was gone on the trip but didn't want to tell me at that time. Was he trying to hide it again? Yes, I believe so. I told him I don't feel sorry for him. It's his consequence, and I told him that each time he has the extreme pain of one being frozen off, to remember my pain. I told him each time a scar is left, remember the scars of my heart. Whether thats a DJ, I don't know but I meant it.

I hate the thought of having to practice safe sex (condom) with my own husband the rest of our marriage. It just turns me off. And we know condoms don't protect all.

I'm at a loss for an answer at this point too Jerry, but thankyou.


Jean, thanks for the hug. ((((Huggs))) to you too.

Lady

LadySheep, IMO what you told him was not a DJ, but a real reminder of the consequences of what he did, that he would surely rather bury forever.

[[bump

My husband and I were tested in July 06 for STD's (after his 8 month affair). They called several days later--we were both clean.

In November, husband turns up with small warts in his genital area. In December, they showed up on me. This, after getting a clean bill of health.

Lesson, just because they tell you your clean, doesn't necessarily mean you are. Sorry. Don't mean to scare people, just giving you my personal experience on it.

Since that happened, I really am nervous about further issues surfacing. What a way to live.

rltraveled,



So true. Unfortunately many have experienced this. I'm sorry it happened to you. It is a hurtful thing to live with, and makes recovery very difficult. My husband has had many outbreaks since, and he doesn't tell me immediately when he has them. Thankfully they haven't been passed on to me, that was my fear. We have lived seperately since Feb, and SF isn't a part of my marriage. I feel safer, but I don't like it. I no longer find him attractive. Who he got them from disgusts me! He disgusts me! And I'm really quite angry that he finds it "normal" to go and get them burned off every 5-6 months. I guess he has no choice.
And now I've had to make the choice to refuse SF with him. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Lady