Ok... she is at work and has a guy(chris, lets say) coming in to get a haircut at 3. He is currently having an A with a woman(toni, lets say) that froz knows from years ago. He is married. It seems when people get their haircut, they talk. About everything.

Anyway, Chris is coming in at 3 today and at some point this morning, Toni called Froz at work and asked if her son could also get his haircut. Being caught off gaurd(very easy to have happen at work) froz said yes. Now, froz is not comfortable with the situation and rightly so. At 3, she has a married man engaged in an A coming to get his haircut and tagging along will be Toni's son. OW's son and the WH. She called me and asked me what to do, and we talked about it, but we are interested in what the consensus is.

I have some opinions, but I would like to see what you all think. Thanks

Cut the hair, put the tip in her pocket, and say thank you. Really, this situation is not her concern. If she wanted to do something or take some sort of moral stand, she should send an anonymous letter to the BW, and inform her of the H's actions.

While she is cutting his hair, tell him that if he doesnt tell his wife what he is doing, she will. Give him 24 hours.

Razor the words "I'm cheating" into the hair on the back of his head?

(Kinda like a "TellTale Heart" sort of thing.)

G

These are some rather interesting suggestions. I don't know which are serious or not (BrambleRose).

Of course, what this man chooses to do isn't really my concern and it is a bussiness situation (sort of).

Toni is an acquaintance of mine from a long time ago. She introduced Chris to me and I began cutting his hair. She never told me he was married.

Chris has been coming to me to get his hair cut on his own now, and he is the one who informed me he was married. He said that his wife is aware there was an A, but she thinks it's over and he has told her that he wants to work on their M and they are going to MC.

My line of work is very different from some others, in that even though it is "business", it also becomes rather personal. People tell me the craziest things. They ask for my opinion and advice. Of course I talked to Chris about A's and explained that they are an addiction, etc...I told him exactly how to end it, NC letter and all. I'm a little irritated that he isn't listening to me, but that's his choice.

I was caught off guard today with this. I gave this analogy to Patriot and he didn't think it was applicable, but it describes how I feel about the situation...

What if your married friend came to stay the night at your home and he brought his OW? How would you feel about that? I don't want to give the impression that I condone it. I even offered to talk to the guy's wife via e-mail. How hypocritcal would I look if she chose to take me up on that offer? How would I explain to her that I allowed the two of them to come to the business that I own (which sometimes feels like my home)?

I guess there are various ways of looking at it.

The sad part is the boy is just an innocent person in all of this. Is Toni a single mom? Maybe along the way Chris became a father figure to the son through the affair. And while it's not right, I feel sorry for the son. (It's probably a little bit of empathy on my part coming from a single mom home.)

Froz runs a business. Business people are entitled to deny service to anyone they darn well please. If having Chris, along with the boys, as a customer is objectionable to you, tell him you won't be able to do his hair anymore. You don't have to tell him, but if you want to, let him know you find the affair between him and your old friend to be offensive and you aren't comfortable being put "in the middle" any longer. I don't know if you want to let Chris's wife in on the big secret. I would. She can't correct the problems in her marriage until she knows, but it's your call.

I'm all for her telling the guy she no longer wants him as a client. She has plenty of clients and losing this guy... well whooptie doo...

But I do have a question for someone with legal knowledge.

Suppose she does contact Chris's wife and informs her that the A she thought was over is still on-going. Does Chris or his wife or Toni have any legal action they can levy against frozen now? I am not a businessman nor a lawyer, so I don't know... but I have to admit that I would be a little gun-shy about telling on him for fear of possible damage to the business(that froz and I rely on, frankly). But, again, I am not knowledgeable on law and what with all the people suing each other and adultery seemingly not a big deal to the courts, I just want to make sure that frozen and I are protected and safe.

I know there are any number of ways to inform the wife without devulging who you are... but I am still curious because if we do inform her, and it comes out that it was done by frozen(and that knowledge of the A was given during the rendering of services at a place of business) I want to make sure they can't do anything to us.

Well, as it turns out Chris is separated from his wife now. He is still married, but I don't feel as bad about the situation knowing that she isn't necessarily trying to work on their M and is not being openly deceived about her situation.

WARNING: VENT AHEAD

I DID NOT enjoy speaking with Chris. All he wanted to talk about is his M and how ice cold his wife's heart is. He has the largest sense of entitlement going on that I have ever seen and it makes me sick, sick, sick to hear how justified he is.

He actually said to me that he wants to work on his M still (apparently the separation was her decision), but that he can't do it if she is going to be upset about the A.

I can DJ other people, just not my husband, right???

I think Chris is a jerk. He doesn't seem to care at all how much he hurt his wife. It made me ill to hear him talk about how, even though his relationship with OW has not been a good one (not because it's immoral, but because she is an alcoholic and is only using him for money and he knows it), but at least when she is in a drunken rage and is screaming or throwing things at him, at least OW is showing some sort of emotion.

Maybe his wife WOULD show him some emotion if he showed any consideration at all for her feelings and wasn't such a callous, insensitive JERK!

I don't really care to have him as a client anymore. Patriot's right - I have plenty of clients. I am not concerned with any sort of legal action. As Longhorn said above, I can refuse service to anyone I like (or don't like). Hairdressers do it all the time. We usually say it like this...

"Sorry, I can't get you in. I'm booked"

(Though, if your hairdresser tells you that it doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't like you.)

Sounds like a plan to me, Froz. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Wow, sounds just like my WH. He said, I can't be with you if I'm going to be wrong about this A. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

froz.....been there done that. i am a colorist and have been for 25 yrs. i had to take a leave of absence because i couldnt stand there after d-day and listen and smile about all the affair stories i was hearing. i got to the point i wanted to smack 'em all!!! not good for business.lol

refuse him and move on. good luck!

Nikko,

I think they should pay us extra for the therapy. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />