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Joined: Oct 2005
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Nothing. A Big Fat Nothing.

Now the "excuse" is that we are so crazy broke and we "agreed" we were not going to exchange gifts.
I do NOT recall having that conversation or coming to that "agreement".

Not that I broke the bank on him, but I did get him a Harley Davidson baseball cap and some novelty GB packer socks and some fancy dark chocolate truffels.

I thought he would at least write to me in our journal, or make me a card with a nice note. Nothing.

While we were wrapping gifts for the kids on Christmas eve I told him that I knew he didn't get me a gift to open, but that all I really wanted from him could not be wrapped anyway. I told him I just wanted to have his Love, complete openess, honesty.

He did not respond and barely looked at me, continuing to wrap gifts.

This really hurt and took me by surprise that he acted this way, even though he had been "snarky" most of the evening.

when he suggested that we go to bed a few minutes later he realised I was looking pretty down in the dumps and asked what was wrong. I told him I was saddened by his lack of responses to me and how I felt he was in a bad mood most of the evening and I wondered what was going on with HIM.
He simply said the usual response. "I am just tired and have a head ache" also adding that he is frustrated with DS#1"s attitude. But that that was all.

So, I got a big NOTHING as a gift, and yet I feel like I got "something" else but not sure what? Fog? Confusion? Another brick in the wall?


Harmonie BS Me - 43 EX/WH - 35 b-day 8/22 D day 8/21/05 Separated 4/2/07 DS #1-16 mine DD #1-15 mine DD #2-9 ours DS #2-6 ours Married 12 yrs together 13 1/2 "Hang on and keep your belt tight and hands in the the car at all times, this is a bumpy ride."
Joined: Jul 2004
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Quote
As expected, I got silence from WS.


WOW - That's the same thing I got..

I did ask WH to go to church on Xmas - we dont' normally do that - but, I thought (dummy me) church might do us both good. I got the look of the devil from him and a big fat No..

After I spent Xmas at my moms, I came to him being in bed behind locked doors. I asked him to come out and he wouldn't he said "leave me alone"..so I did..

In his behalf, Last year he did get me a beautiful watch - I got him nothing. Last year it was too painful for me to shop for him.

He gave a ton of $$ to his kids and God knows how much he spent on all his GF's..I guess they got what I use to get.

There was only 1 gift I've wanted for 3 Xmas's now and that is a restored M and a faithful, loving husband - It's not gonna happen. The gift of truth is what I gave myself, to see clearly who I am M to and what he cannot be and never was..I'm getting closer to filing those papers another gift I'll be giving myself..

Hugs...

Joined: Oct 2005
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I got a poem and a flower bouquet 4 white roses 4 red roses and one yellow rose w/ glitter on it along with a poem written by my husband. Together we are getting a vacation that I dont know where to, only my MIL, my mom and him know about. So it was a pretty good Christmas this year.


BS 24 FWH 24 M- 3years Together 7 years DS 4 DD 1 D-Day 6/27/05 NC- 6/28/05 Exposed A 7/1/05
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Since I had the affair I didn't really except nothing from
wife and I was right well almost she did bring the kids to
my moms and she stayed part of the day with us and even let
the kids spend the night with me.I got her 4 shirts,4 jeans,
2 perfumes,and 1/2 carrat diamond necklace,gift certifcate for 4 new tires and jcpenny gift card. All gift tags
read from kids and your friend.Not wanting to pressure or
push her in any way.

Joined: Oct 2005
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My XH gave us a TV. Ours had been on its way out for a while - yellow picture. I was shocked when he "sneaked" it into our shop earlier in the week. He also took the kids shopping for me - I can't remember him doing that before. Typically I bought for everybody except myself - though I'd shop "from" the kids "to" me... he only had to buy for me and often that was last-minute and [email]half-@$$ed[/email] (but not always - sometimes he got me nice things - but always at the last second).

From the kids I got a scarf, gloves, hat and a nice basket of bath goodies - XH knows I like a good soak in the tub. Kids had trouble picking out what scent - he told them lavender is my fave - which it is. He gets points for that too.

I had only bought him a sweater til I saw the TV - then I felt kinda cheap. I got him a small MP3 player (and a few stocking-stuffers - nothing major) - he loves the MP3 player and tinkered with it all day. I had also shopped with my kids, for him, they gave him jeans and a shirt. He spent the day with us and he wore the jeans and the sweater I gave him.

We had a great day together. He came for a while on Christmas eve - was supposed to join us for supper but he's been sick. Instead he came at 9:30 to watch TV for a bit (on the old yellow TV!) with us he picked up the gifts from our shop (I helped the day before by wrapping what he'd bought for them), then he returned about 9:30 AM Christmas morning (with the TV!) and left about 9:30 PM that night. He left his computer here for the kids to play with -- they were on the webcam with his parents. He picked up the computer about 1:30 today and went to take care of a customer issue. I offered him lunch, he declined, but he did say he'd be back later for some leftovers - we have way too much to use up ourselves. So I don't know what time he'll be back - or if he will for sure, but if he said he would, he probably will.

My goal has been to try to reconcile... he's got a girlfriend (not an A - she came along 11 months into separation and after I'd started a doomed relationship myself, post-separation)... he knows how I feel but during our D earlier this month, which coincided with a visit from his out of town g/f, we had some hostility between us between Thanksgiving and Christmas. We did spend Thanksgiving together too.

I'm still hopeful that the girlfriend thing will drop eventually, and give him pause to think about reconciliation again - he's overcome many of his issues, but still has some to deal with - with MC and time I think it's salvagable - even though he said after the D and g/f visit, that it's over between us forever. I have said that too, in anger and hurt - I believe if there's enough love still there, we'll both be able to move past that - I know I can, and I have. I've forgiven a lot, and if he can forgive me, there's a good basis for repair there.

What he says, and what he does, seem to conflict with one another. His actions say he wants to work on things (g/f notwithstanding) but I'm not sure if he even knows.

Nonetheless, we had a wonderful day together, and I'm glad of it. Yeah in the back of my mind I considered the "cake-eating" factor... but I'm going to accept it and be gracious for the good he has done, and let time take care of the "other" problem. Then we can move forward from there.

H2U

Joined: Aug 2005
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My STBXWH got me absolutely PO'd b/c he got the kids absolutely nothing for Christmas and even stood them up. What a selfish SOB.


Me-BxW-(36) Him-WxH-(36) Married 9 days short of 12 years b/f D was final 5 kids-10 and younger (3 DD & 2 DS) WH filed for D 11/05 D final 05/06 ***Of course you would DIE for your kids, the question is will you LIVE for them*** ***Time heals nothing but faith heals everything***
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Still praying for you dear. I am so sorry he is being such a selfish jerk.

You will make it thru. You and the kids will! We are praying!


me:37 BS; s:7; xh:38; OW:26;eloped w/OW 1 wk after D: 12/29/03. OC born 3/17/04. Happy! Blessed to be the mother of a wonderful son..great profession..Life's good!
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My FWW got me an adult male lowland Gorilla. It was one of the best gifts I've had in a while. I'm going to call him George <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


Me 43 BH
MT 43 WW
Married 20 years, No Kids, 2 Difficult Cats
D-day July, 2005
4.5 False Recoveries
Me - recovered
The M - recovered
Joined: Feb 2004
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I just wanted to send hugs to you all - Christmas is an awful time to be a BS.

If it provides any hope:

Christmas 2003 - D-day was an "early" present and after he had walked out for the actual Christmas day, I got a false recovery where my hesitation at sleeping in our marriage bed only recently vacated by OW was met with "but I washed the sheets..."

Christmas 2004 - coffee from Italy in return for being a full-time parent while he had been out of his children's lives for the better part of four months. (My present to him was divorce papers.)

Christmas 2005 - a ten year platinum anniversary ring from Tiffany's with ten diamonds

Have hope - marriages can and do recover.

Blessings to you all,

G


BS (me) - 34
FWH (him) - 35
Married 15 years
D-day - December 20, 03
Recovered
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A REAL GORRILLA???????

A platinum diamond ring sounds good.

Joined: Jul 2005
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A ring is good. A gorrilla is just another thing to have to clean up after.

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Well, it is a real gorilla. She paid for me to adopt (pay the bills for it at the local zoo) for a year. I still liked it, and I'm still gonna call him George

I will hug him and squeeze him and call him George. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


Me 43 BH
MT 43 WW
Married 20 years, No Kids, 2 Difficult Cats
D-day July, 2005
4.5 False Recoveries
Me - recovered
The M - recovered
Joined: Dec 2005
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I got a Tiffany's open heart necklace. He's away and had left it out for me, but it just looks like a picture of the hole that is in my heart to me.

Joined: Sep 2003
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Shetats - Sorry you feel like you have a hole in your heart.

rprynne - That is such a nice gift. I would love something like that!

Joined: Jun 2005
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WH got me more than I did him. Actually his gifts were not from me, they were from DS. And I suppose my gifts were from DS, but since he is only 6 the parents pay of course.

WH got me a pretty wooden, arched candle holder that fits 6 small candles and a gift card to the Mall for almost 3 times more than what I spent on his gifts. I did do WH a stocking since DS put it out.

I felt guilty at first, but hey, I am not the one in the Dog House.

Kim


D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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