I am still in the process of D, court date is coming up next month. My STBXW has always had an unhealthy need for attention from OM, which has led to numerous A and the end of our M. She relies on OM so much for her self-worth that she has several times gone into an almost debilitating depression after a break-up with one of them. None of these have even been long term R, usually lasting about three to four months. She has refused to even acknowledge that she has a problem, instead choosing to blame me entirely for the failure of the M.

What I worry about is the kind of influence this behavior will have on the kids, especially my daughters. What are the chances that they will observe my STBX behavior over the years and live their own lives this way? What can I do to maximize the chances that they will not copy this behavior? I am not looking to start a fight, but I think it is very important that I deal with this issue head-on with my kids. The question is how exactly. Do I simply try to lead by example and hope that is enough or do I need to talk with them directly about there Mom and make sure they understand what she is doing is not healthy and to try and help them understand how she got this way?

It's one of the biggest reasons why I have been reluctant to agree to more of a 50/50 custody arrangement. I want to try and limit their exposure to this behavior. I don't think that will be good enough though. They are still going to spend ample time with their Mom and have already witnessed enough of this to make me wonder if I am doing all that I should to deal with it.

starman