I have been hanging around a lot less lately due to a combination of factors.I find myself alone on a Friday night and decided to take a break from reading GAME OF SHADOWS and since mr laptop was here I decided to do some catching up with my friends here at MB.
Things were going well for a while after my very brief interaction with STBXW in November. If you remember, she had sent the NC letter after 21 months of my Plan B, but it turned out to be a momentary pang of conscience from wifey.
Well about 6 weeks ago, I pull into the parking lot of clinic I staff on Monday nights and lo and behold who pulls up next to me but STBXW!
After politely greeting each other she gets a real serious look on her face and says we need to talk. I asked why now???.. her answer was that she was about to divorce the only man she ever loved and she could not let that happen. She begged to talk but I declined saying I had patients waiting for me. She pressed me to talk and I somewhat reluctantly agreed but only in a public place NOT at our home nor at my apartment. We decided on a Starbucks. Some privacy but with just enough exposure that emotions and voices would be held in check.
Well we sit down to coffee and after making small talk and catching up on what has happened in our lives the last two years, she repeats that she misses everything about me, misses my sense of humor, the exemplary way I always treated and protected her, and again how she had "Mr Right" but did not realize it.
Now I will have to admit that hearing those words( that I had dreamed about for so long) scared the snot out of me. I had truly gone on in my life (Plan B works! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />) and I had started to date my ex girlfriend again and actually was thinking about the future. A little background is necessary on my exGF( I will call Linda).She is the one I left to marry Mrs. Cymanca. I knew at the time that I had crushed Linda but I was and still am deeply impressed at how she handled the situation. Mrs. Cymanca always acted like she had lost by marrying me, and spent most of our M p*ssed that I had nothing negative to say about her. BTW I care for my ex wife and all of my ex GF's. A TREMENDOUS source of irritation to Mrs. Cymanca. I do want to note that in my 7 year M I spoke to my ex-wife once( in the presence of Mrs. Cymanca) and saw or talked to ex GF's rarely except for Linda, whom I spoke to on business matters only. Mrs. Cymanca talked to Linda all the time but I was unaware of any facet of her personal life including her boyfriends and her almost marriage a couple of years previously.
Well back to Mrs. Cymanca. She told me she was now an avid reader of MB but did not have the courage to post here. I told her there were great people here but they would not tolerate even a hint of dishonesty and would not mince words in correcting her. She told me she had broken off relations with her parents( she blames them for not teaching her how to love) and all current and past boyfriends.
Now while I am hearing this with a brain mindful of what had been going on these last two years, I am extremely uneasy during this entire conversation. I beg off saying that I am tired and she insists on meeting at Starbucks the next week and I should think about what we could do to prevent the divorce that now she did not want.
To make an already long story short, the next several weeks were dotted with telephone calls and emails that were pleasant enough but with me always avoiding ANY relationship talk. As is her personality she pressed for an immediate solution to her two year romp now that SHE had decided she wanted US to work. She could not be put off and begged me to come up with what I needed to let us repair what she had destroyed. I fnally came up with these points
1. Take a complete STD panel from any doctor of your choosing. I will also be willing to take the same tests.
2. Take and pass a polygraph test. I will pay for the examination and you may choose the examiner.
3 Sign a "post nuptual" agreement limiting your claim to any asset other than those monies already distributed and one quarter of the buiding proceeds in the event that you enagage in any future extramarital activity.
4.Agree to no contact with (her new best GF)and any other friends that have shown to not be pro marriage.
5. Furnish a complete copy of the statement that you provided for the owners of the cruise line in response to my claims against Cabin boy.
6. Engage in personal counseling with Dr Psycholigist or any other qualified professional on at least a biweekly basis for a period of one year.
7. All mementos of all your trysts be disposed of immediately. Including clothes, jewelery, pictures etc
8. Complete transparency as described on the Marriage Builders web site
Well it took almost 2 days but her response was ok to all points except #3 and that refusal was non-negotiable.
I thanked her for her reply and told her I would see her in court on May 11 for our divorce trial.
