Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
#1650564 05/07/06 03:26 PM
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 270
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 270
Well ladies,

HE IS NOT THE FATHER......I am so elated...I can't elaborate right this second...we are going to the afternoon service at church....we have to go somewhere and praise God....

I'll check back in and give the details.

God bless you all and remember...even though part of this nightmare has ended for me....I will forever keep you in my prayers...and I will always stick around for whatever reason you all need me to.

I'll be back...


April - Affair
May - OW tells H that she's pregnant
June - OW's H calls to inform me of affair and pregnancy
August - Present - Working diligently on marriage. In counseling at church.
December - OC Born - NO CONTACT!
May - DNA TEST NEGATIVE - MY H IS NOT THE FATHER. THANK GOD.

My new Title - BS w/ OCS (Betrayed Wife with Other Child Scare)
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 188
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 188
CONGRADULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CONGRADULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH WOW! I AM SOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED FOR YOU!

CONGRADULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (wiping the tears from my eyes)

I am so happy for you no words can express how glad I am to hear that. I do hope that you do check in once in while cause I have always enjoyed reading your post.

Wish you the best of luck and happy recovery.

Curosisty is getting to me did the H take the test and is he the father???


When you learn to forgive someone who has really hurt you and forget the wound that they have caused, then you truly love that person.
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 16
T
Junior Member
Offline
Junior Member
T
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 16
I can't tell you how happy I am that you got the proverbial "get out of jail free" card.

Go out, celebrate. In some ways I envy you, but I'm so much more happier for you. Take this time and renew it with you and your husband. I wish you the best of everything.

Twiisty

And please, by all means, share more with us when you have the time. I wish I could throw a party for you!


Divorced COM:Three (7,6 and 3 years old) COPM:Two(13, 12 years old) D-day 05/01/01 Recovery 05/01-10/04 Divorce Finalized 04/2006 Oc is 7 and still NC on ex-h's part.
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 160
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 160
Congrats! I am so HAPPY for you.

Celebrate! Enjoy!


Married 10 years Three Children: Son(8),Daughter(6),Daughter(3) DDay - May 6, 2004 False Recovery Begins - June 1, 2004 OW Pregnancy Revealed - June 27, 2004 False Recovery #2 Begins - August 30, 2004 OC born Feb. 25, 2005 Have chosen to have C DDay AGAIN -- June 10,2005 - Found out contact w/OW had continued from Sept-Feb Recovery Begins (again - let's hope it is real this time) July, 2005 C w/OC on indefinite hold while M is worked on
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 215
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 215
Congratulations Hurt!!!! I am so happy for you. I've heard of this before but with my fertile husband I knew it would not be like this for me from the beginning.

Knowing how you struggled w/ even thinking about C, I am SO glad that you and your H don't have to deal with this.

Not that you even care anymore about XOW, but what's up with that??? She's married AND slept with your H and NEITHER are the father??? or did they never have her H tested. Either she is a real $%&# and deserves whatever she gets OR her H IS the father and they can go about their lives having lived and learned as well.

Wow, I just know how hard all of this was for you and I am just SO SO elated and I'm sure this was a big enough wake up call for your H that this will NEVER be an issue for you two again. GO LIVE YOUR LIFE and be well!!!!!


WS: 37 BS: 36 "highschool sweethearts" married 8/98 ds: 12/96 dd: 11/99 ds: 5/02 separated 4/04 A summer '04 D-Day: 9/8/2004 recovery begins 10/04 moves back in 11/04 OC born (girl) 4/05 (Legal C 8/05) "Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives me something to do, but it gets me nowhere."
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 286
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 286
finally some good new yeah!!!!!!!!!!

I got chills when i read it.

i am sooo happy 4 u


ALL OW DON'T RESPOND OR COMMENT ON ANYTHING I POST EVER. I'M NOT HERE TO SPEAK TO U! I am here to speak to other BSs that Can relate to my situation and OUR shared experiences. I COULD CARE LESS WHAT ANY OW HAS TO SAY ABOUT ANYTHING, EVER!
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 316
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 316
Crazy:

That is such GREAT news. Congrats. What a relief. I'm sooooo happy for you.


BS/47 FWH/42 Married 22 yrs Kids - S30,SD23,SS22 OC Born - 09/08/04 C with OC - SS It's an UPHILL CLIMB
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 270
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 270
I am still so excited, that my head is going to explode...I have a headache right now...but that won't stop me.

I plan on sticking around...I won't go anywhere.

As far as the child...I really don't know. We don't know whether her H took the DNA or not. So I really don't know. My first inclination was to call her after reading the results and cussing her out for making our lives this jacked up for the last year....but that would be unchristian...and totally immature...I'm still fighting it though.

Ladies, I'm the same person, with the same ideas...I plan on sticking around...and being there for you all.

I am the poster child for why DNA is important....remember that....

God bless you all.


April - Affair
May - OW tells H that she's pregnant
June - OW's H calls to inform me of affair and pregnancy
August - Present - Working diligently on marriage. In counseling at church.
December - OC Born - NO CONTACT!
May - DNA TEST NEGATIVE - MY H IS NOT THE FATHER. THANK GOD.

My new Title - BS w/ OCS (Betrayed Wife with Other Child Scare)
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 104
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 104
crazyhurt,

OH MY GOSH, im so happy for you. how exciting, never again do you have to worry about what to do or what you have to do. wow, there isnt words to express how i feel for you, sooo happy. but i always felt in my heart since you came here that it wasnt your h. it gives me encouragement, hopefully someday we will get the same good news so that i dont have top go crazy over this sith.

yes, you are proof of the importance of having dna, to many woman say man is f just to get what they want, men need to not ever take there word for it no matter what and always have test done. again i am so happy for you. have a great time with your h, somtimes we need somthing extreem to make us stop, im sure your h learned his lesson. and yes, praise god. thanks for the good news, imtswife

Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 347
E
Member
Offline
Member
E
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 347
This is a good day. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Change your signature, my friend..

Nut..where have you been? *hug*

Eibrab

Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 215
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 215
Crazy, i am doing the Dance of Joy here still!

Nut, we started to think something had happened to you! please check your PM's on the ezboard!


BW -33 (Me)
WH-38
M- 4 years/together 10
OC (girl) born 03/03
D-Day 08/02

True friends stab you in the front - Oscar Wilde
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 2,121
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 2,121
Ohhhh my goshhhh Crazy!! What wonderful news!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,300
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,300
Wonderful news. Think of it this way . . . your family just got a $100,000 raise!

$500 per month time 12 months times 18 years = $108,0000

If $1,000 per month was to be the child support you saved $216,000.

Of course these numbers don't include insurance costs, inflation, the OW taking you back to court for increases . . .etc. etc. etc.

Congratulations again.

Last edited by Comfortably Numb; 05/08/06 08:42 AM.

What we think or what we know or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do. ~ John Ruskin
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 217
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 217
wow! Congratulations!

now to fully recover your M!!!!


me-34
xH-38
DD 10/03
D-day 11/03 (cellphone)
Talked-Day 01/04
H left-02/04
Divorce-05/04
xH left -false recovery 1 week- 08/04 -told about OC
OC-07/04
xH left -false recovery 6 weeks- 12/01/04
12/02/04 DESTRUCTION OF MILY MUST END
1/17/05 - Started dating
11/05 - CS and visitation established at Court
02/28/06 - xH moves back after 2 yrs!
10/16/07 - asked xH to leave - he's still in a relationship with OW
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 270
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 270
Thank you all ladies....thank you all so much....the journey continues, but only with less baggage....I'm still here for you all, and will continue to be.


April - Affair
May - OW tells H that she's pregnant
June - OW's H calls to inform me of affair and pregnancy
August - Present - Working diligently on marriage. In counseling at church.
December - OC Born - NO CONTACT!
May - DNA TEST NEGATIVE - MY H IS NOT THE FATHER. THANK GOD.

My new Title - BS w/ OCS (Betrayed Wife with Other Child Scare)
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 242
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 242
This is one of the best news posts I have ever seen!! I am so happy for you!! I can't say that I am not totally jealous, though. What wouldn't most of us give for this release from the OW and old A issues!

It would be hard not to call/write OW and blast her. But, I suppose she thought it was your H's child. Why would anyone tell their H the child was someone else's if they didn't think so.

Crazy, I bet you could write a letter that expresses you thoughts that would feel good for you and was not offensive. Kind of "buh-bye" letter. I would give it a try. You have earned the right to say your peace and I know you could do it well.

God love DNA testing!


BW
DDay March 2004
OC born 8-04
NC
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 270
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 270
Lbelle - That may be a good idea...a letter...I'll think about it...and if I do...I won't write it this week....it would be ugly.


April - Affair
May - OW tells H that she's pregnant
June - OW's H calls to inform me of affair and pregnancy
August - Present - Working diligently on marriage. In counseling at church.
December - OC Born - NO CONTACT!
May - DNA TEST NEGATIVE - MY H IS NOT THE FATHER. THANK GOD.

My new Title - BS w/ OCS (Betrayed Wife with Other Child Scare)
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 215
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 215
Or maybe she WANTED OC to be your H's in the beginning. What a nut case to do all she did and not be totally sure. Not that I doubted you about your XOW hurt, but thank God you don't have to deal with that crazy woman for the rest of your life!

I would want to write her a letter as well, but it would probably all fall on deaf ears. She obviously had no concern for your marriage and she may be an old woman before she "gets it" in her own time.

I can't say I'm jealous because our OC is here and part of our family and like any child, I can't imagine any other way at this point, but I am SO DARN happy for you and your H. WHAT are you going to do to celebrate??? You two need to spend some of that money you just saved and go to the beach or something!!!

Don't feel ogligated to stay on this board, I wouldn't want to dredge all of this up if I didn't have to deal with this. But stay on MB and keep working on that M, the best is yet to come!!


WS: 37 BS: 36 "highschool sweethearts" married 8/98 ds: 12/96 dd: 11/99 ds: 5/02 separated 4/04 A summer '04 D-Day: 9/8/2004 recovery begins 10/04 moves back in 11/04 OC born (girl) 4/05 (Legal C 8/05) "Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives me something to do, but it gets me nowhere."
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 621
U
Member
Offline
Member
U
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 621
Congrats!


Unsure about a lot of things but not how to achieve personal happiness...
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 316
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 316
Carolyn - - Sending you an e-mail.


BS/47 FWH/42 Married 22 yrs Kids - S30,SD23,SS22 OC Born - 09/08/04 C with OC - SS It's an UPHILL CLIMB
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 867 guests, and 55 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
daveamec, janyline, Mike69, petercgeelan, Zorya
71,833 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5