If, before posting, everyone sat around and weighed every last word to make sure we didn't offend anybody, not very much would get posted!!

Instead of getting one's feelings hurt over some perceived slight, how about getting to the nitty-gritty of what the poster means?

We are not here to be politically correct. We are here to save and rebuild our marriages and to help others do the same.

Get over it! OK? Now, let's get back to business! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I second that Lady !!!!!!

Hurting

I come out of lurkness after 2 weeks or so, and, geese, the thread gets shut down.
NC is simply that. There is no room for discussion or or implentation of some kind of facimily of what true NC really is.
I made this abundatanly clear to my WW.
She got the point, wholeheartedly.
Thank God for small favors. Some just don't get it.\
god bless,
J

The above certainly looks like more than "one thing" you're saying about posting styles. Just thought I should level-set you on that. Please don't be offended. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

What do I have to say about posting styles?

PARAGRAPHS! Don't post without 'em.

Amen to that!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Aaaaaand, there is no "A" in DEFINITELY.

And also, there is no such word as "IRREGARDLESS".

Oh yeah, and please keep your bloody sig tag lines to a minimum of 4 lines (This was a pet peeve of Chris's LOL).

And there is a big difference between "your" and "you're."

Here's an example of each:
YOU'RE going to get in trouble when you cheat on YOUR wife.
Heck, even if we can't save our marriages, we can at least learn good grammar and spelling, right?

LOL, really I don't care how people post in this, or any forum. I worry, however, how they must look in "real-life" if this is how they spell and write in memos at work.

IMA,

Is this an attack on me????

At least at work I have spell check. lol

I'm kiddin'. However, I rarely do much editing for grammer or spelling. I just figure the "post life" ain't worth the effort.

W

p.s. - Occassionally I do learn valuable lessons.

p.p.s. - For example, Fantasygirl taught me recently that it's P.S., P.P.S., P.P.P.S and NOT P.S.S., P.S.S.S. and I'd been doing it wrong for years.

Well,
for good or bad .......this is neither work nor school.

I take most posting here more like TALKING To someone.

Hence,
I use all types of " " & ( ) & ........ & -------- :
all of which I'm sure just drive the Nit Pickers Insane.

Just like people,
there is a vast spectrum of what you call styles.
Some ya love, some ya hate & some ya Say "Huh"? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

From Penalty Kill


No, Mr. W. It was I who taught you. I was an English major and I am a writing tutor.

YAY!!!!!!! More closet grammar nuts!!!!!! It's not just ME!


Sorry, I'll shut up now.

Resilient,


Hrrumph!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> Well!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> So what if I AM long-winded???? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> Hrrrmph!!! Offended??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> Who, ME?????? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> OK, girl! You asked for it!!!! Wanna fight??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> C'mon! Put yer dukes up! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

JK! Not offended at all! In fact, I realized that it was more than one thing after I posted, but I was too lazy to go back and change the title. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

To everybody else,

Since we're getting into spelling policing and grammar checking, let me add this!

Effect and affect are not interchangeable!

Example:

Wrong: His actions effected my life.
Correct: His actions affected my life.

Wrong: My H's affair is having a bad affect on our family.
Correct: My H's affair is having a bad effect on our family.

Oh, and here's one that really grates on my nerves!

Wrong: He did not come by to see the kids and I.
Correct: He did not come by to see the kids and me.

You wouldn't say "He did not come by to see I"; so, just because you added "the kids and" doesn't change anything.

And when speaking of yourself and another person, the other person is mentioned first, as in:

Wrong: I and my friend went shopping.
Wrong: Me and my friend went shopping.
Correct: My friend and I went shopping.

You CAN say, "I, along with many others, worked hard on this project."

OK, I'm done for now! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

A long time ago....I wrote a thread about posting styles. It took me a while to find it LOL (yikes I hate this new search engine LOL) but here it is....thought it might be helpful to add here:

*expect some posters to rub you the wrong way...it's a big world and not everyone agrees or perceives things in the same light. Some people express those differences respectfully...some don't....you can't control it.

*communication styles are different....some posters are kind and tactful, some are direct or abrasive. Most are trying to help. The world and this forum are full of individuals, and like the world...you'll like some and dislike some.

*don't expect to be able to control or limit who posts on your threads....or even which way the thread goes...it's not realistic and will drive you crazy. If you want a certain poster to respond to you....put their name in the title, but that is never going insure that the rest of the posters can read and post at their will...just like you can.

*don't make assumptions about posters or situations without doing your homework and understand the HISTORY of a problem. It's easy to misunderstand posts if you see a response in the single context of one thread. Many posters here have been conversing for months or years and are commenting on more than is written in the thread in question.

*try not to take things personally...usually they aren't.

*if you must assume something...assume the best until proven otherwise....don't just react and lash out, but try asking questions and getting more information if something strikes you the wrong way.

*don't expect to get someone kicked off the site for being "mean" to you. It just does not happen. It takes alot to get banned from this site, so learning tolerance and detachment are essential to feeling good about your time here.

*only part of the responsibilty for feeling insulted lies in the disrespectful poster....the greatest part...is the responsibility of the listener. This isn't a marriage or friendship...or even real life...it's an anonymous message board where the majority of what each individual can realistically control is their own perception and reactions...not other people here.

*the best way to deal with someone who you feel is being unfair to you....is avoid them and not respond. You can notify the mods...but as I mentioned before...don't expect any serious reaction unless the attack is obscene or relentless over time. When you respond defensively or make judgements about others...expect more responses from the person you are trying to avoid.

*come here with an open mind....not to teach or judge but to LEARN and you will get the maximum benefit from this site. Different perspectives can open new avenues and opportunities if you check your ego at the door and realize we are all students of life and marriage.

*don't expect fairness, consideration, sympathy or sensitivity. This isn't a therapy office. Encourage those things....YES...but don't expect them because this forum is OPEN to all but the very distructive few who have blatantly misused it. People come here with bias, hurt, history etc. and the advice WILL be peppered with all the flavors of the people who inhabit it.

*if you are emotionally affected by the reponses you get on this board....it is not a safe place for you...consider your health and don't post here.

*when you habitually whine about your treatment here....most people will dismiss your grievances. Defend yourself in a respectful manner without alot of drama if you need to.

With all of that said....I urge everyone, to practice good communication skills and controlling LBs for your relationships in the real world. Bad habits that are practiced here in this anonymous place are not so easily compartmentalized that they won't spill into your marriage and real life relationships. The best way to be HEARD is to adjust your style to the audience, really listen, and communicate respectfully.

From Penalty Kill


Oh, I'm well out of the closet! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

[color:"blue"] PK, once again it's all about you isn't it. lol <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Sorry, I stand corrected. PK gets the credit.

W

p.s. - What's your take on the use of "..."? [/color]

Me...I misuse the heck out of it! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I've even used the non-word 'irregardless'!!!!

I'm sooooo baaaad! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

LC....but you didn't say "why" effect and affect are not interchangeable. "Effect" is a nown....a thing. "Affect" is verb....an action. You can "affect" something (you can cause it to change by your actions). But you cannot "effect" something because that is NOT your action (the CAUSE of the change)....it is the change itself (the effect). Okay....grammar lesson over LOL.

Now on to the spelling lesson.

That would be NOUN. LOL !

These grammar lessons are great...I'm always trying to get people to understand the difference between effect and affect, now I have a couple of new ways to fight that battle.

While we're at it...what ever happened to adverbs? I'm REALLY tired of folks who say they are REAL tired. I'm amazed that even commercials make this REALLY big mistake.