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For you military types, you will know what "H-Hour" is. Here's the update...


I have been very busy the last few weeks preparing for the upcoming battle. That is why you havent heard much from me lately. And, as I knew it would eventually come...a battle has ensued as of yesterday.

Two days ago, my wife informed the kids and me that she had a place nearby and was moving by the end of the week. I had noticed soem things missing the few days before...well, my MIL and her had already begun the process of moving stuff over there. I asked her when she was going to let me know (I found out thru the kids), since we only had two days to get out of our current house (I had no idea we had to be out by June 1st). Her response? Nothing...no response.

I went into operations mode immediately. I called out from work on Thursday, and began trying to pack up some of the kdis stuff that morning. I found out my wife had kept my oldest son home to help her and my MIL pack. I began to enlist my son to help me in his room, when my MIL came up and began going off on me on what I was packing up. My wife, who had jsut got off night shift and was in bed...came out and joined in their verbal assault. I turned to my MIL and told her that she is NOT a part of the Mortarman family...that this is our kids' room and she has NO say in the matter. I told her to butt out! But she just kept going, and ratcheted my wife up in the process (they truly are very much alike, unfortunately...which is why I will have to work extra hard to make sure my daughter doesnt follow their path of selfishness, adultery, etc).

I am now trapped in my sons' room because my MIL is blocking the door, saying "You are going to have to come thru me." At this point, I had sent my oldest to the basement to get out of the radius of the explosion that was about to happen. Now, while "going thru her" was VERy tempting <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />, I chose to pick up my cell phone and call "911." All this time, my MIL remained in the doorway, while my wife went downstairs and called the police herself (of course, on me!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />).

About ten minutes later, the police rolled up. My MIL cleared the door, so I headed downstairs to talk to the officer. My wife was already at the door, saying I was yelling at them (not true), being verbally abusive (not true) and was trying to take stuff that didnt belong to me from the home (and they hadnt taken a bunch of stuff out before I knew we were moving??? Puleease!).

The officer began to tell her that it isnt illegal for me to remove anything from our home. That is isnt illegal for me to yell (even though I didnt yell). Well, my wife continues to get more and more worked up as he is talking. The officer then turns to me, in which I try to tell him what happened. When I bring up the fact that I received primary custody of the kids a year ago and I was just trying to pack the kids up...she became irate! She was screaming at the officer "He didnt get custody...that's a lie...that's a lie." I am trying to speak to the officer. I then ask him if he can quiet her, as I did give her the chance to speak. The officer gave her a warning, and then asked me to step outside.

I gave him the lowdown of our sitch over the last four years, so he understood why my wife was off her rocker. About this time, a second officer pulls up. He comes up, and decides he wants to speak to my wife, who has now locked the door. My wife opens the door, and hands the officer her cell phone, saying her attorney wants to talk to him. The officer responds "I dont want to talk to your attorney, mam. I want to talk to you." In the meantime, my wife is trying to shut the door on the officer. Eventually, he gets her to open the door and he goes inside.

I finish telling the first officer my situation, as we both hear my wife going off inside as she yells at the 2nd officer.

I then talk with the first officer, telling him that the stuff in the house aint worth this. That all I care about is the kids, really. He asked if I was willing to leave today, to come back the next day and get whatever stuff she left. I told him that I would, but that I needed to get my work laptop, clothing, shaving gear, etc.

He went inside and presented my plan to my wife. She agreed, and the 2nd officer came out and escorted me upstairs to the bedroom so I could get my personal items. While there, he said that I should go immediately to see my attorney and file for immediate custody and for divorce. He said after talking to my wife that he had no doubt that she would be filing all sorts of things, especially with her and MIL cooking up their stories together. He said he had been thru similar before and understood what was going on here. Both officers were ex-military and were POed with my wife that she had cheated while I was on deployment. They understood what I had been going thru. Added to that, the fact that I was calm and collected and very matter-of-fact, as opposed to her aggressive and abusive manner, told the officers a lot about what the truth of the situation was.

I left soon after, and I have stayed with my mother the last two days as I start to figure out the next step. I did go to my attorney's office. He said that he figures that my wife's attorney already had stuff in the pipeline ready for her move, so that we wouldnt file for a day or so to see what their first move would be. I asked him if it mattered which was in first. He said considering her track record and what she is doing now...it wouldnt matter at all.

He did say that I now have "cause" again, as I did when she was in adultery. Virginia is a fault state, and adultery is a cause for filing for divorce. Another cause is abandonment of the marriage. She has done that now. She has no way of filing for divorce for 6 months as she doesnt have fault on me. She can file for temporary orders, such as custody and child support, though. I can file for the full deal, as I have fault!

He told me to be prepared that she might file some sort of verbal assault charge. I asked that if she did, with my MIL also backing up her lies, would it stick? He said "no," that the judge will understand that my MIL will parrot her daughter's position. That he will take the officers' testimony about her abusive behavior, about how I was calm and was willing to leave rather than escalate...as the truth. So, I am not really worried there!

She has a high-priced attorney (the same guy that lost last month against my attorney), so we are planning on a more expensive battle. My wife has moved into a house that is almost double the size and payment of our current house. She was complaining about how much I was providing before. Now she has to pay $1200 more a month for the house, and no money from me. Added to that, should she lose custody, she will be required to pay me an additional $1200 (app.) a month for child support. Dont know where she will get the money? It wont be the Troll. MIL is helping, but I do know that most of it will have to be made up by her working extra shifts. This, while her doctor has already advised her to quit her job because of her back injury last year in an automobile accident.

I think she is counting on winning custody because she has a place right now, and I dont (yet!!). That the $1200 extra for her current place will come from me. That's an awfully big risk on her part. She must REALLY believe in this attorney! And who knows...he might win. But odds are he wont! Especially since she is also fighting God. And I do know one thing...God and me on the same team is a majority!

She kept all of the kids out of school today to help finishing moving. I have no idea what will be left, and really dont care that much, as my attorney can handle that mess! My deal now is getting a place for me and the kids. And I will discuss that in a later post, because there are soem issues there.

For now, me and the kids can stay when they are with me...at my Mom's house about 10 miles away. There is only two weeks left in the school year, so we can just suffer thru bringing them back over to the bus stop. My attorney says that it is "problematic" that she has a house in the school district and right now I dont. But, that it probably my wife's only substantive issue for fighting for custody of the kids. But I want to also take that issue out of her hands (as well as get back out there because I do want my kids in that district, if possible).

It will probably take 30 days to get a hearing on custody. So, for now...who knows how this will play out. As nasty as my wife and MIL are being, they probably wont even let them pack their clothes to bring with them to stay with me, in order to force me to let them stay there until the hearing. That aint gonna happen! Even if I have to blow some cash on some new clothes! But, the issue is how we are going to trade them off right now. My MIL is making plans to take my wife and the kids at the end of June to Indiana for some family get-together (it basically is the second anniversary of my FIL's death). But, my sons both have major baseball tournaments they have to (and want to) be at. My younger son will be kicked off his team if he cant attend. But they dont care! As my wife said about herself, on tape, to me two months ago.."I am 35 years old, and selfish and self-centered..."

So, H-Hour has come. I was prepared on almost every front except housing. And I have some issues there and may need some off board help, as my postings may be being monitored by the "enemy."

But suffice it to say that all of my technological and human assets that I have built up over the last 4 years, are fully engaged now. There are people swarming around now, preparing to execute the plan I worked up months ago. She may have fired the first volley. That's okay. And it did some damage, as I need to find a place. But that hopefully will not take long.

In the meantime, she (and the Troll) are about to reap the whirlwind of their decisions. The consequences of their illegal, immoral and abusive actions are now finally going to come home to roost.

Last year, when we went to court, I told my attorney that I did not want to hammer my wife. That I felt she was confused and making mistakes...but that I didnt want to "take her to the cleaners." When I met with my attorney yesterday, he asked me if I was done "[censored]-footing around." (I hope that term doesnt offend anyone...it has to do with a cat!)? I told him that the gloves are off. That only unconditional surrender will be accepted. That mercy should not, nor will not, be shown until that happens.

Folks, this now will be the official start of Plan B and to the operations I need to take to secure my future and my kids' futures. This battle will be intense. The attorney we are up against is forminable. But as my attorney said...he cant escape the facts. He is just another attorney.

I may lose. I am prepared for that also. There is a plan for that possibility. I doubt she has such a plan for her loss.

I will keep you updated. I will also need prayers, and guidance...as I will be down at the front, in hand-to-hand fighting. It will be hard to see the big picture from there.

I am one POed grunt! I am under control...but I am determined! Time to break open a can...

In His arms.


Standing in His Presence

FBS (me) (48)
FWW (41)
Married April 1993...
4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B))
Blessed by God more than I deserve
"If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"

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((( Mortarman )))

You definitely have my prayers this very second...

So sorry to hear this.

I wish there was something I could do to take away your pain.

Bless you, Carnation


Me - BS 55 WH/FWH 50 OW 30 Much evidence says that my H was/is deeply involved in a very long term PA Prolly will never know much more than that
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((( Mortarman )))

You definitely have my prayers this very second...

So sorry to hear this.

I wish there was something I could do to take away your pain.

Bless you, Carnation

Thanks Carnation. And the prayers do help!!

Right now, I dont even feel the pain. It is like losing a buddy in battle. You know you will feel it later...but right now, you must continue the battle.

I am focused on the objective. There will be time later for pain and crying.

In His arms.


Standing in His Presence

FBS (me) (48)
FWW (41)
Married April 1993...
4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B))
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"If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"

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((((((((MM)))))))

You are grace under fire for certain!


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

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This is just the opening salvo in a renewed battle. I think you've been more than patient and it's time to take the gloves off. H-hour indeed, pardner. Stay strong, MM.

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MM,

Stay strong and fight for what is right for you and your children.....

I am praying for you. Let the wrath begin and let her feel the pain of her actions......


Hurting


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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So, H-Hour has come. I was prepared on almost every front except housing. And I have some issues there and may need some off board help, as my postings may be being monitored by the "enemy."

You know how to get in touch with us if we can help you at all, you know that Mr. W and I will do anything that we can for you...


Quote
I will also need prayers

And you've got 'em...Was on my knees in prayer for you as soon as I finished reading...He's there with you...You remain In His Arms...

Mrs. W


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

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((((((((MM)))))))

You are grace under fire for certain!

Thank you!

"I can do all things..."

In His arms.


Standing in His Presence

FBS (me) (48)
FWW (41)
Married April 1993...
4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B))
Blessed by God more than I deserve
"If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"

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This is just the opening salvo in a renewed battle. I think you've been more than patient and it's time to take the gloves off. H-hour indeed, pardner. Stay strong, MM.

After 4 years of this crap, it feels so good to finally take the gloves off! Thanks.

In His arms.


Standing in His Presence

FBS (me) (48)
FWW (41)
Married April 1993...
4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B))
Blessed by God more than I deserve
"If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"

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Grace under fire indeed! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

You sound really good, MM....fully prepared and ready to roll! I'm sorry it's come to this, but you've gotta do what you've gotta do!

I'll lift you and your kids up in prayer!

Lori


VERY HAPPY! FBS/FWS; 47yo; M-29 yrs.; DS-26,DD-21; our affairs: 1990-'96
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MM,

Stay strong and fight for what is right for you and your children.....

I am praying for you. Let the wrath begin and let her feel the pain of her actions......


Hurting

Indeed!

In His arms.


Standing in His Presence

FBS (me) (48)
FWW (41)
Married April 1993...
4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B))
Blessed by God more than I deserve
"If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"

Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
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So, H-Hour has come. I was prepared on almost every front except housing. And I have some issues there and may need some off board help, as my postings may be being monitored by the "enemy."

You know how to get in touch with us if we can help you at all, you know that Mr. W and I will do anything that we can for you...


Quote
I will also need prayers

And you've got 'em...Was on my knees in prayer for you as soon as I finished reading...He's there with you...You remain In His Arms...

Mrs. W

Thanks! I will be in touch. And yes, I do know He is here.

In His arms.


Standing in His Presence

FBS (me) (48)
FWW (41)
Married April 1993...
4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B))
Blessed by God more than I deserve
"If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"

Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,712
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Grace under fire indeed! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

You sound really good, MM....fully prepared and ready to roll! I'm sorry it's come to this, but you've gotta do what you've gotta do!

I'll lift you and your kids up in prayer!

Lori

Thanks Lori! Yes, my kids do need it. My daughter was crying the other night while my wife was at work. She so wants this mess over with. And so do I.

This is what POs me the most...the abuse of our kids. And she doesnt care!

While I was packing, I found two cards my wife had given me abotu a year and a half before this all started. In them, she had included some paper with a note. Stuff like...how much she loved me and was thankful that her and I could follow God's path for us. How she could never imagine a life without me in it.

A year later? Well, as you know...there was nothing good about our marriage. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

This is indeed an alien and an enemy of my family and of the safety and emotional health of my kids.

She will be treated as such.

In His arms.


Standing in His Presence

FBS (me) (48)
FWW (41)
Married April 1993...
4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B))
Blessed by God more than I deserve
"If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"

Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
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MM...best of luck my friend.

You seem very well prepared for this, and I admire you for it.

Your faith and perseverence will carry you through this I'm sure.

You're children are lucky to have such a dedicated father!


Me/BS = 28 WW =33 DD = 5 Found out about EA/PA = 4/07/06 WW moved to Virginia to be with OM = 8/21/06
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After 4 years of this crap, it feels so good to finally take the gloves off! Thanks.

Wow! Mortarman! I've been off the board for quite some time and just recently returned. Sorry to see what has transpired in your life and your marriage.

I too have had 4 years (and then some!) of this crap. I filed in February.

Prayers for your continued strength.


Married '85
Me: BS
D-Day 7/02
Plan B 5/03, 7/03
Numerous False Recoveries
I filed 2/06
Divorce Final 4/30/07
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MM...best of luck my friend.

You seem very well prepared for this, and I admire you for it.

Your faith and perseverence will carry you through this I'm sure.

You're children are lucky to have such a dedicated father!

Thanks GF. You are in a similar battle as me right now. You are doing well.

I am as prepared as I can be. The reason I feel confident is that I know who is in charge here...and it aint me! If God is on my side, who can be against me?

In His arms.


Standing in His Presence

FBS (me) (48)
FWW (41)
Married April 1993...
4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B))
Blessed by God more than I deserve
"If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"

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After 4 years of this crap, it feels so good to finally take the gloves off! Thanks.

Wow! Mortarman! I've been off the board for quite some time and just recently returned. Sorry to see what has transpired in your life and your marriage.

I too have had 4 years (and then some!) of this crap. I filed in February.

Prayers for your continued strength.

Thanks. And the same for you!

In His arms.


Standing in His Presence

FBS (me) (48)
FWW (41)
Married April 1993...
4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B))
Blessed by God more than I deserve
"If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"

Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
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Prayers for you and your kids, MM.


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Prayers for you and your kids, MM.

Thanks FF!

In His arms.


Standing in His Presence

FBS (me) (48)
FWW (41)
Married April 1993...
4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B))
Blessed by God more than I deserve
"If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"

Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
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My prayers will be with you and the kids too. I know how much they suffer... even if they can't express it. You are very brave, and an example to all of us here. God Bless you! He is with you, you can be sure of that.


cc

"Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience"
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