It's me again.<P>My ex showed up at the bowling alley again this Friday. Jealous as usual and then wanted me to go home with him for, well you know. Must say, it's been awhile so it was very tempting. But I didn't do it. I knew that if I did, I would end up crying because it hurts to know he will use me for this and wants to reconcile, but not marry. I would just feel used, and it's not worth the minutes of ecstacy. So a couple of you told me of the MacLeods story, and it gives me hope. I will keep the faith and keep praying. But what bothers me in the meantime is the fact I know that untill then, my ex will pursue other women to get his sexual needs met. I dont know that I can or want him back after that. He even said, well it's not considered cheating now because we are no longer married. (taking advantage now) YUK!!! So how can I deal with that?? HELP When we both got home, we chatted on ICQ, both ended up in tears and he said he was going to leave me alone because we cant hurt each other anymore. Told me I either have to give into him, or live right according to God, and only then will God give me my hearts desire. He also said he didnt know how I would want him back if he ends up having sex with others. I told him I dont know if I will either. I hope God does not let me down.<P>Bluestar

I'm glad the McCloud's story touched your heart, it does mine!<P>I'm sorry you're going through all this pain. <P>I just wanted you to know that your message was read... and that I am pulling it up for others to respond to...<P>It sounds like you're doing the right things so far... btw, when he said "ends up having sex with others" does that mean he hasn't yet?? Does he want to come home for good, or just for a quick romp? It sounds like you have some hope there... and I also think that you can do what's right in God's sight and still have your H back... <P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

Thanks New-beginning,<P>He says so far no sex with anyone else. He did threaten it last week but did not follow thru. The marriage thing is our big block for now. He is only willing to reconcile if I am willing to do so without marriage. But I know it would be wrong for us to be together that way. I hope he holds back from sex with others, but he has a very strong drive. I am not counting on it.<P>Bluestar

I probably will be stoned for saying this, but I'd be very tempted to try it the way he wants it. Just to show him that you truly do love him and mean to keep him in your life. Is that what you're considering??<P>God understands your heart. If you really know in your heart that it's wrong and are prepared to pray him home as your husband, not a live in lover, then I guess we'll have to start praying really hard.<P>That's a tough choice though... and tempting, I'm sure...<P><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

No rocks in my hand NB. <BR>Bluestar, Next time tell him this: O.K. Lets get back together, unmarried. You go out but I can go out too and you cannot say a thing about it. Why be together? Why even bother. <BR>I think he wants you back and is throwing out all kinds of stipulations. Ignore all of the stipulations and tell him that the only way you will be together is that he turn away from his playboy lifestyle and commit to you exclusivly. You actually have more power on this than you think. Hold the line on your principles. He has to work around them.