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Joined: Nov 2006
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"You act older than your age."

"I did it (pity dates) to keep things nice between us." (before she left)

In regards to the 5 dates she had in the two weeks before I came home, "They're only dates if there's romantic intentions involved!"

Umm, the emails she sent these guys said things like, "You know you want me."

Oh, and a comment like, "I know where I can go if I ever need any lumber." was defended as, "Oh, come on! He works at the lumber department at H*** Depot! Only in your perverted mind would that mean anything else!"

Can I get some backup on that one? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I guess that the physical stuff that happened wasn't in search of romance. What is do you call a woman that does that? Hmmmm.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

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After FWH's 2 day disappearance.

Me: Did you have sex with her?

FWH: Yes but it was short and fast.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

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Quote
"how many [email]d@mn[/email] times do i have to tell you, our problems have nothing to do with OP!!!"

This is a classic--I think they all use this one. I know I heard it, but it's still kind of stunning to think that they could actually believe it.

Here's one: After it became apparent that affair was still ongoing and that I needed to go to Plan B but before she actually moved out, I was trying to go to sleep one night and could hear her downstairs talking to OM on the affair phone. I went down and said calmly "I can hear you talking."

She replied "I was talking to the TV."

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"We have nothing going on; people are just mean and want to hurt us (H + OW)".
YEAH...RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />


Me- BW 47 Him- WWH 49 2 daughters/ 21 & 15 D-DAY - 3/5/07 PLAN A ONGOING "ONLY TWO DEFINING FORCES HAVE OFFER TO DIE FOR YOU; JESUS CHRIST AND THE AMERICAN SOLDIER. ONE DIED FOR YOUR SOUL, THE OTHER FOR YOU FREEDOM!!"
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"God is telling me to leave you and the kids."

On telling him that there should be permanant no contact:

"That would be like me telling you I can never contact YOU again.


When I cut access to his credit card while he was off with OW on a whirlwind vaction with OW:

"That was pretty spiteful of you,don't you think?"

On the phone with him while he was on the road with OW and wouldn't give his exact location:

"You were talking to OW's H. I don't appreciate you lying to me about it." (Huh?)

"It just happened." (he deliberately went on the internet to meet women).

On the phone with teenage son while he's on the road with OW: "I'm doing you a favor...someday you'll appreciate this."

Before DDay:

Him: "Call me 'Daddy."
Me: "Why?"
Him: "Because I like it."

Daddy was OW's nickname for him. BARFFFF

A slew of others, but it makes me too sick to think about it.

Thank GOD, he is over it!

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Oh how 'bout this: craziest thing OW said to FWH (that I know of) on FWH trying to break it off with her a couple times:

crying ... "wifey has some kind of POWER over you."
Wawawa ... imagine, me having power over him. Ooooo, how scary is that?!?!?!?

What a numnut.

What a low life bottom eater.

What an absolute KNUCKLE BRAIN...

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How could I forget this one ---

on the phone with him while he is FL on DDay:

"I talked to a lawyer and I don't have to pay alimony, and I don't have to pay for S because he is over 16 years old. (He was 17).

Haha. Married 24 years and you don't have to pay mainenance? That was truly funny ...

OW must'a picked out THAT lawyer for him!

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Maybe this belongs in another thread but:

WH's email to OW: "Something started with my wife in bed last night but I stopped it before it got too far. Feel terrible, like I'm using her and cheating on you."

faint faint


Me: BW, 27
Him: WH, 29
DD 4
DS 1
Married 07/25/09
A began end of 08/2009 (possibly sooner)
D-Day: 3/31/10
2nd D-Day: 4/9/2010
3rd D-Day: 4/21/10

Plan B (shortlived as it was): 18/05/10
WH decides to work on marriage: 20/05/10
False Recovery, Back to Plan B: 13/08/10

Filed for D Feb 2011, D April 2012

Looking forward to the sunshine and rainbows life should hold for us all!
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bump


AnnaBelle Rose

Me: 29 WH:31 DS: 22mths M: almost 6 years, together 7 1/2
I am not a mistake. - ABR
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(a classic wayward-doublespeak) WW:

"Yes, I meant my vows to you ... to a certain extent!"


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Or also my WH said the ole "I meant them at the time."....huh?



I also got told "I never loved you" and the "I was never happy in our M."

Then I showed him the beautiful cards he gave me, I mean they said how happy and in love he was....He said "Yeah, I had to give you those."....Huh?.... Well isnt it funny, coincidentally, that they stopped coming once he started having his affair. So I guess he did not "have" to give them to me then.....and I guess he was happy and in love with me until he met OW...Doofus!

He told me also that out of all the years we were together, he wrote them all down, that he was only happy one of those years...ONE.... And it was one of the two years we were together before were married.

Funny but we were together SIX YEARS before we were married....for someone who could remember only being happy for one year, he cant even remember how many years there were....DOOFUS!


BW me-41
WH -39
DS - 9
married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered
DDay aug 2007
found MB dec 2007
Moved out april 2008
still seeing OW
Plan B

Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. smile
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Good Gods, are all these waywards the same!!! I'm sorry, if you didn't love someone, why the F#$% did you get married!?!?!? And if you were never happy, why the heck didn't you speak up?!?!?! It took an A to decide to FINALLY speak up?!?!? What the f#$% ever.

Sorry about the mini-rant, stillhere's WH's comments are the same that my WH said to me, and they still infuriate me. I didn't buy them when he said them, I don't buy them to this day. So there.


AnnaBelle Rose

Me: 29 WH:31 DS: 22mths M: almost 6 years, together 7 1/2
I am not a mistake. - ABR
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Dont you know?...They did not know what leerrrve was until they met AP's.... puke


Yeah, "real" leeerrrve is when you lie, sneak around, cheat and only see each other when you can sneak the time in between time with your WIFE and CHILD. mad I guess you can only find that when you are married.

Last edited by stillhere8126; 04/28/10 09:54 PM. Reason: stupid, stupid, stupid

BW me-41
WH -39
DS - 9
married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered
DDay aug 2007
found MB dec 2007
Moved out april 2008
still seeing OW
Plan B

Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. smile
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Ladies & Gentlemen,

As funny (in a very, very sick way) all of these wayward-sayings are, there are 2 key points here:

1) Isn't it amazing how 95+% of their marital complaints & discontents, legitimate or otherwise, are never effectively or clearly communicated until AFTER the adultery is well underway?

2) Isn't it amazing, if even 25% of the emotional effort & energy they expend in rationalizing, excusing, deceiving and concealing their affair, would have been effectively directed instead toward their marriage that ALL OF THIS HORRIFIC LIFE-DESTROYING DEPRAVITY would have been avoided?

I have come to conclude that most cheaters are highly insecure and immature people with very poor self-esteem who are utterly irresponsible towards their loved ones and their own self-professed values, standards, principles, and character.

They not only cheat on others -- they also cheat on themselves and the God they so often hypocritically claim to believe in.


xWW:
Secret LTA w/ thrice married OM at her workplace; EA/PA starts ~ 2005-6
Files & completes D - 2007, OM/OMW#3 D - 2007, Affairage - immediately thereafter
Disappears in 2006 w/o even a goodbye to anyone, Never a paragraph of real truth ever spoken
Me/xBH:
M "for life", Suspicions (denied) & desperate Plan A latter-half '06
1st D-day 1/07, full truth D-day 7/08 (all via 3rd parties)
NC w/ xWW 8/08-date, better off w/o unrepentant vileness, betrayal, & rampant deceit in my life anymore
Joined: Nov 2009
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Yes.


Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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"I've talked to Phil (our MC - who was very pro-marriage and led me through much of plan A & B though we never called it that) and I want him to help you see that we can have a good divorce. It can be win-win. It doesn't have to be lose-lose."


[Linked Image from serve.mysmiley.net] faint

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OW aware I knew about the A :
Sorry, I did not mean to hurt anybody, I have to think of my family too

______________

WH sends SMS to OW 6 months after D day - with attempts to amend ways:
... blah blah blah and I LU (love you) and MU (miss you)

Me: How can you say you love me and say you love them too

WH: My love for you is different and my love for them is different

HUH? that never makes sense

________________

WS: I bought them stuff as a thank you for the work she does

HUH? Is he really making amends?
___________

Me: requesting for NC and all financial support goes through me

WH: Then the more they will distance themselves from me and they will not want to call you for anything


Me BS: 52
WH: 52
Married: 28 years, happily (prior to A admission 11-9-09)
(OC born: april 3,2007 or is it feb 3, 2007)DNA result is negative 3-5-2010
location: bay area
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After I discovered $87 flower purchase on his bank statement....and after he lied about it, he finally said,
"these were sent as an apology to her because I made a pass and she thwarted it. I sent these as an apology."

He was "besmudging me with amnesty" rotflmao


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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Originally Posted by hope_eternal
He was "besmudging me with amnesty" rotflmao

rotflmao


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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I am in the middle of the mess, but I have already heard a couple of head scratchers.

When asked why her and not me if he needed to be with someone and admitted he still loved me - his reply was - because she is just as pathetic as I am

Dealing with our adult children who still haven't spoken to him - his response is - well, when they are ready to either shout, cuss and yell OR have a decent mature conversation about it, they will call. We all make our own decisions, so their reaction is their decision.


Married 32 years
D-day 6/13/10-loves me/loves her too
D-day#2-7/3/10 moved in with 23 year old OW
3 kids-29, 26, 24 - 8 grandchildren
Praying for God to keep me strong and fight this.
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