We can all use a little "marital" humor from time to time as divorced/betrayed/celibate single folks. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Here's one:

> > > >Twenty Dollars ( to funny)]
> > > > TWENTY DOLLARS
> > > > >
> > > > > On their wedding night, the young bride
> > > > > approached her new
> > > > > husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking
> > > > > encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily
> > > > > agreed.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > This scenario was repeated each time they made
> > > > > love, for more
> > > > > than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a
> > > > > cute way for her to
> > > > > afford new clothes and other incidentals that
> > > > > she needed.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Arriving home around noon one day, she was
> > > > > surprised to find
> > > > > her husband in a very drunken state.
> > > > > During the next few minutes, he explained that
> > > > > his employer
> > > > > was going through a process of corporate
> > > > > downsizing, and he had
> > > > > been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of
> > > > > 59, he'd be able to find
> > > > > another position that paid anywhere near what
> > > > > he'd been earning, and
> > > > > therefore, they
> > > > > were financially ruined.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which
> > > > > showed more than thirty
> > > > > years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly$1
> > > > > million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued
> > > > > by the bank which were worth over $2 million,
> > > > > and informed him that they
> > > > > were one of the largest depositors in the bank.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > She explained that
> > > > > for the more than
> > > > > three decades she had "charged" him for sex,
> > > > > these holdings had multiplied
> > > > > and these were the
> > > > > results of her savings and investments.
> > > > >
> > > > > Faced with evidence of cash and investments
> > > > > worth over $3
> > > > > million, her husband was so astounded he could
> > > > > barely speak, but
> > > > > finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If
> > > > > I'd had any idea what you
> > > > > were doing, I would have given you all my
> > > > > business!"
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > That's when she shot him.

Yes, men would think this funny.
Women are saying "great idea", but truly after the first year, $20/year isn't a large amount to deposit.

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now. That's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

Great joke!