LilSis:

I was traversing the Goodbye Cruel Forum Thread of Melody Lane. (she posted it when she only had 3,000 posts...But I digress)

I saw this>>>> VIBE

Thought you would find it fun!


LG

BTW, We spent our Honeymoon in Boston and had a Wonderful day at the Cape. Good luck!

Sis I have spent the majority of the day reading your Plan A post. OMG!!!

Can I ask how long this has been going on for you?

Sis ~ be ready for more attempts at contact. He's feeling the pain and wondering just how serious you are. Be very careful (you are doing great!) Allowing contact right now will simply allow him to go back to cake eating.

Have fun at Billy Joel! =)

Sis,

You've gotten some great advice from some great people today!

You are doing FABULOUS!!

I just wanted to jump in and tell you I saw Billy Joel just over a week ago and it was FANTASTIC!

I saw him together with Elton John when they toured together. This was just as good. He put on a Great show, had a lot of fun!!

Enjoy it!!!

It's called not getting caught.

Sis,

Just checking in.

Plan B, going as planned, I see.

Kewl...


I wonder how much the imminent return of the ILs has to do with his thoughts of moving somewhere, his thoughts of "home". "Home" being you and the kids. And how empty he feels. At first I wondered if the dog was too much trouble for him, but now I'm wondering if it's a peace offering. Now the cottage thing. Then he's radaring where he knew you would be on Friday.

Is it money? A bother for taking care of the dog? Parents who are returning and telling him to get out (did the ILs grow a backbone)? Has RT found a new man in blue, another donut dude?

Maybe he has actually figured out that his life WAS EXACTLY WHAT HE WANTED AND HE SCREWED IT UP!!!!!!! Please Lord, I pray this is it.

But really, who knows why he's trying to break Plan B. But, he is. Cheering crowds!!!!!


WHEN he shows up, you will know if it's WH or H. You do have your own kind of "radar" for that, now.

God will tell you what to do. Stay calm and listen for His voice.

SB

Hi schoolbus! (waving) Thanks for checking in, and for the reassurance that I will KNOW if it's WH or H when and IF he ever shows up.

Anyway...I'm back...the concert was fun...we actually had as much fun people watching as anything. I was exhausted...we ran into three huge traffic jams on the way and cut it pretty close getting there.

This morning we went out to breakfast with my friend T and her H; my BF LK and I were just getting ready to hit the road from the restaurant, saying our good-byes, and some little chickie in a huge Durango backed right into the Vibe. Major crunchage on the front passenger side.

Great! (through gritted teeth)

So we hang around for the cops, get a report, and take off (LK had to crawl into the passenger seat through the back seat because her door wouldn't open). We laughed the whole way home...always an adventure with LK. Trouble follows her. (College was a blast)

So I got the claim started with the insurance co., and will take care of that this week...thank goodness I get a rental.

Never a dull moment. There's always something.

No hang-ups during the time I was gone. Maybe WH's not really trying to break Plan B...maybe he just wanted to be able to tell everyone what a "good guy" he was by offering me the cottage, but I refused....thereby taking away my right to complain about it (never mind that the offer is about three months too late).

LK thought it was quite humourous that WH decided that he didn't really want to go through her anymore. She figured that he wasn't getting the answers he liked from her, so he decided to go to my sister...who gave him the same answers as LK.

How frustrating.

Doing fine, everyone. I am very happy to be dark, and will have no problem remaining so. I do not want WH in my life at all...only H. I am still focused on being the best person I can be, the best mom, the best friend and daughter and sister, best employee, and continue to put my trust in God. He's taken care of me so far; I can only hope that he takes care of H, too.

LG: my Vibe's not looking too phat these days with a big ole crunch in the front. Because it was SOOOO pimped out before before the Durango messed up my ride!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> (If being pimped out means having a little Apple sticker in the back window)

Jim:
Yeah...okay...have you noticed a thing or two about my LUCK? I have NONE. I don't think you want to put any bets on me. If anything can go wrong, it will...

Oh, no.

Sorry to hear about the "crunchage" today.

For me, sometimes it feels like "When it rains it pours." I suspect you might have felt that as well.

When I read that, I was thinking "Oh no her WH is gonna be the one to show up for the police report to be filed." Guess that is a relief.

Glad you are taking care of yourself. You sound strong, just like you did during plan A. Keep it up.

Oh, no...to clarify...good point, Eph. We were at my friend T's house, about 3 hours away. And WH just recently took himself off the ins. on the Vibe, so he won't find out...

I was out mowing earlier...saw a cop car down at the corner, turning left. Could have been WH; maybe not. Either way, I felt good out there mowing my own grass---AT ANGLES!!!!---everything is sooo green and so alive. Rocking out to Boston on my iPod....feelin' satisfied.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Finally getting to a point where I feel good about myself. Knowing that this is not MY fault; that this is HIS problem, HIS brokenness. I am SO strong...I have survived so much, and here I am NOW, mowing my grass AT ANGLES.
Going to concerts.
Taking care of myself.
Arranging for the car to get fixed.
Cleaning out and organizing the garage.
Feeding the roses.
Kicking a$$ at work.
Raising two great kids.

Looking forward to my life...knowing that I am on my way BACK, out of the hole...there are good things ahead for me.

I am so thankful.

Okay, my Killer Bee friends...you know this feeling, right? And don't you wish you could just bottle it up so that when the feeling fades (as it inevitably will), you could take it out and spritz it all over yourself?

(oh, and I mowed in my low cut size 1 jeans and a little (tight) white v-neck t-shirt , so if it was WH at the corner, I hope he got an eyeful...he used to say that it was sexy to see a woman out mowing the grass)

good lord, size 1? i was bigger than that when i was born! must be nice lil sis!

i can rock out a tight white tee with my ample chest but could not even get one leg into a size 1 <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

mlhb

Sorry, missed your question, HM. The A began three years ago, but d-day was 6/28/06. RT was a "friend" and our kids were playmates. I suspected an EA, and confronted repeatedly, but of course WH lied through his teeth. I didn't really know that much about A's...thought maybe he was suffering from depression.

I spun out of control for a few months, crashed on Oct. 11, began picking myself up and putting the pieces together, and finally began a TRUE Plan A in December.

And mlhb...size 1 (thank you infidelity diet) is about right on my 5 foot frame...and unlike you I was not blessed with anything ample on top (But thanks to Victoria's Secret, I look decent-not rocking-in the tight white t-shirt).

Sis, I have to tell you a secret. My husband is back. Really, I'm not kidding, no contact in place. He moved out of OW's apartment, into his own, writing NC letter today. I'm mailing it tomorrow (Sunday's, humph). He's on his own, and definitely totally ready.

Last time, in February, I knew he wasn't completely there, but had hoped that he would have enough strength to do it. Everything was happening too fast, too much desperation, from both sides. Now, I'm not desperate AT ALL. Neither is he. He is READY. He is doing all of the work, seriously, I haven't asked for anything, it's just assumed what needs to be done. He's even trying to get another job. We'll see.

I'm in no hurry. Everything is in place, he's in IC, he's in his OWN place, he's established NC, he's initiated reaching out to me, he said last night "if recovery doesn't happen this time, it will be because YOU don't want it" and he is ABSOLUTLEY right. He has to lead the way now.

I just wanted you to know that all of those little peeps, those little olive branches, mean something, I don't know what, and I'll have to fill you in as I talk to my husband about his thoughts during all of this, but all of the truly geuine things are from a place that only the two of you know.

Anyway, I hope that you can remain strong. Stick with it. You are amazing and he will see it one day. HE WILL. You know that you can do things, your confidence will skyrocket. You are getting back to basics, getting back to you. He fell in love with that YOU. It will be hard to miss the changes...

BTW, your sister did a great job responding about the cottage. Just marvelous. Your family, no matter how screwed up you think it is, loves you dearly, you can take that to the bank, sis...

Congratulations SL!!!! I am so happy for you. You and LS have been doing such a great and inspirational job. You will do well no matter what. LS I am happy for you too. Not that your man has come to his senses but because you are facing adversity with a brave face. You are women and we hear you roaring. I don't know if you all feel this way but everything happens for a reason. I think you all had to go through this to inspire and show others anything is possible. I know it sucks while you are going through it but when you look back you will see how much this has changed you for the better.

HOW INSIGHTFUL OF YOU!! You've put into words EXACTLY how I FEEL...

I'm ready now, and I don't think I was ready before, as I was grasping and not allowing WH to find his way, to hit his bottom on the bottom.

I have recently been looking back and sighing with relief that I 'let go' and looked at all the wreckage for what it was; two people fumbling around and no one with a plan. I got a plan over the last year and stuck it. Again, I had that Eureka moment, when I knew what it meant to let go, no control, none, over WH. Only control of my life and it's direction.

I'm walking softly now, and letting WH lead this thing. HE needs it.

Why thank Mims. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I know you know jusy what I mean because you to have been there. Ain't amazing how God uses your pain and your strength of character to endure all to help lead others in their time of need. Then you look around and you are like me. I helped someone. By going through this I have really helped others in their time of need. Little ole me.<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> ( If they had a well gooly icon I would insert it here.) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I don't think we realize how awesome we really are until we have endured the worse and come out on the other side, and believe me this kind of betrayal is on the top of that list. So yes dears you all have help many. Even the FWS that come here and post and give others insight your help is invaluable. Don't ever forget it.

BTW Mims what's going on with you? How is everything? Small thread jack. I have lost 10lbs and I have my consult with the plactic surgeon tuesday. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> I am so happy.

Silent...I posted back on the thread mimi began. My heart is full!

I prayed for us all by name at Mass this morning...for our own personal recoveries, as well as each of our WSs to be brought to their knees. I cannot ask more than that.

For myself, I prayed for the host taken at Communion come alive in me and allow God to guide me in my thoughts, words, and deeds...and give me the confidence and sureness that I am on His path, not my own. And finally, that I have PEACE with that.

Silent...you are an inspiration.

LS,

Reading that you prayed for us all today, I just wanted to say that God really spoke to me today both in the worship service as well as Sunday School. I'll post more on my thread.

Thanks for your prayers - God hears them and does answer.