Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our discussion forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 715
A
Member
OP Offline
Member
A
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 715
I'm officially filing on Tuesday, but I told my H several weeks ago that I was done supporting him, and he needed to move out. He has pretty much not talked to me since, but made no efforts to get a job or move. He is a full time student and even has a workstudy job where he could earn $300 a month, but he won't do it. So, how do I get him to move out? It's very tense around here.

Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 165
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 165
You really should consult the attorney handling your divorce on that one.

Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 304
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 304
If he owns the house too, you really can't get him to move out unless he's been abusive towards you.

Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 2,289
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 2,289
Pack his bags, deliver them to him at school, and change the locks on the doors.

Sheesh Anna, you gotta attract different nuts! Try a coconut next time!

Jan


A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 715
A
Member
OP Offline
Member
A
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 715
I know Jan...........being a single mom is really sounding good now. He sat and watched me dig my garden today, then enjoyed the brats I paid for and cooked on the grill.... all while unhappily smoking his pipe and complaining about being unappreciated.

Seriously, no more LTR until the kids are out of school, I've had it.

Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150
Is his name on the property?

Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 682
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 682
You've told him in the past you'd leave or he had to leave. Nothing happened. Does he believe you? I'm so sick of these dime a dozen punk men. I call this abuse in itself, your supporting some loser who's basically taunting you as you pay his bills. It's time we women stand up for ourselves and demand respect. Oh yeah, he's a "victim" underappreciated, guys like this all say the same thing. It's not that bad, poor me, look at what I do for you - he didn't come up with this. Get an attorney and figure out how to get him out of your life as he's just waiting for you to back down as you've done in the past. You can do what my girlfriend did, pack bags, dump his stuff on the lawn and tell him to get the blank out of your life. But be careful, leaving a man who's abusive can lead to violence. Protect yourself, get some counseling and legal advice.

Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 715
A
Member
OP Offline
Member
A
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 715
Cinderella, yes his name is on the property. Even tho I used my entire year of back child support as down payment, instead of catching up on my credit cards which I'm now being taken to court for. Now he's threatened to force me to sell so he can get half the money.

Tonite he said that God wasn't allowing him to get a job to teach me a lesson in not wanting material things. Well, that takes the cake!

Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150
Well, having him on the property does complicate things.....

What was it Paul said about those who work and don't work....(2 Thess 3:10). Oh, and Proverbs would say a lot about that issue, also. Oh, and the master who gave his servants the talents....what were they to do? Which ones were blessed? Who does God help - those who _ _ _ _.

Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 1,171
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 1,171
Any update?

Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 4,199
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 4,199
And, your demands are feeding into him not wanting to work.

Have you looked up passive/agressive people on the internet?
It may help you understand him. But I don't know how to change him.


It was a marriage that never really started.
H: Conflict Avoider, NPD No communication skills (Confirmed by MC) Me: Enabler
Sep'd 12/01, D'd 08/03.
My joys and the light of my life: DD 11, DD 9
*Approach life and situations from the point of love - not from fear.*
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 2,289
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 2,289
Anna,

Suggestion, put the place up for sale, take back your child support, and give him half - buy a new place for you and the kids, and go for the gold. Let him figure out how to get his own place.

Leave the animals for him to take care of. He'll soon find a different way of life, because he can't afford them.

Jan


A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 715
A
Member
OP Offline
Member
A
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 715
Update:

He rented a place in the town where he goes to school and is slooooooooowly moving out. Now he is furious with me because I won't loan him my pickup any more to move (he had it for 2 days). Anytime I say "no" to him he tries to bully me into giving in.......I'm really considering a restraining order; which my attorney advised me to do.

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 6,531
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 6,531
YAY! he is OUT! What a hurdle you have jumped!

1. Now dont give him any money
2. Let his girlfriends at school help him move
3. TAke back the vehical
4. Get a RO if you need one

I bet the kids are happier without that husband still living there with you abusing you all. Keep stong ANNA!

Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 715
A
Member
OP Offline
Member
A
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 715
another update: he put a lock on the barn so we can't get into it. there is a duck, 4 rabbits, and 2 cats in there; but I can't get in to feed them.....so I guess he plans to keep coming back and doing it???? Also, all my tools are in there and I need them. He took things that weren't his when he moved; and there's still a bunch of his stuff here. I am so frustrated!!!!!!!!!!!! I tried to call my attorney, but his office was closed this afternoon. NOw what do I do, I need to check on the animals!

Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,774
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,774
i'd call the police. that is endangering the lives of those animals. they can escort your h back to the house to unlock the locks and check on them and feed them. also, make sure he brings back what was not his that he took. YOU SHOULD BE THERE WHEN HE IS MOVING HIS THINGS SO HE DOES NOT TAKE YOUR THINGS! i packed up my exes stuff myself so all he had to do was take the boxes. he did take some of my dvds and i made them give them back pronto.

mlhb


God first, family second, and all else will fall into place.

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 6,531
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 6,531
BORROW A BOLTCUTTER, IT GOES THRU A PADLOCK LIKE NOTHING. OR CALL THE POLICE TO HAVE THE LOCK CUT SO YOU CAN FEED THE ANIMALS.

HE IS A REAL ANIMAL, THAT MAN. WORSE THAN AN ANIMAL. CRUEL.

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 6,531
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 6,531
I think you need to put your own lock on there yourself so he cannot get into the barn. Words can not describe how I feel about your husband. I am very angry at him and upset that the animals might go hungry.

Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 2,900
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 2,900
The animals will not starve to death tonight and you can likely do without your tools until tomorrow. If you know when the lock went on, wait 24 hours and if he doesn't show call the humane society and the police and tell both that you have called the other. If no one acts within another 24 hours, take an axe to the barn door.

Your husband brings jerkhood to new heights.

Joined: Feb 1999
Posts: 7,298
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Feb 1999
Posts: 7,298
How did he get money to rent a place in town?


Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.
Page 1 of 2 1 2

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 139 guests, and 77 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Qwerty1234, Overcomer4513, caraduke, Convict20, GTNY
71,738 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,550
Posts2,322,811
Members71,738
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2020, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.  |  Web Development by SunStar Media.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5