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Joined: Jan 2005
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I come here once a month or two to catch up on MM so happppppppy to read your posts MM - I can't tell you how amazed I am in the Lord and what has happened in your relationship with the mrs. - congrats
We are now 2 years, 3 months since my affair ended....and coming up on the 2 year anniversary in July of Sprints anniversary.
Our recovery has been slow but steady and I can honestly say here we are and we are happy!
After sprint's affair, for the first bit we were having sex but due to guilt from mine and his, he withdrew. From January of last year until only a few months ago this was a roadblock for him. It was 13 months until he hurdled that roadblock - I can say - lol that was the last part of recovery we were waiting on.
And in our new relationship though - we talked about it - alot...even though I could see the pain in his eyes every time we did - but we did - and we could express how it made each other feel without getting upset or thinking the other person was wrong about how they were feeling.
Our ways of listening, communicating, everything has changed...and 2 years out - we can even comfortably watch movies that have to do with affairs together, and not be uncomfortable or have it hurt us.
I wasn't sure that day would ever come.
We still have normal marriage arguments- like when the kids are in trouble - our parenting styles are different so hehe leads to some head butting, but now we don’t condescend each others style...and if it is accidentally done, we immediately talk about it.
Apologies from both of us are sincere and we have both become so in control of our emotional reactions - always thinking of the big picture.
I have learned that assumptions can ruin alot...and can be your worst enemy - this is not like trusting your gut (trusting your gut is good) - this is making assumptions you assume to know what the other person thinks, feels, is doing and that you in your head "assume" you know - you aren't that person so don’t assume...that goes for not assuming the best or the worst - just don’t assume!!! Assuming leads you to developing a belief that may be so far off the truth of anything, and we all tend to as human beings act and react off what we believe to be true...
if you don’t assume things then you are forced to communicate with the person you have a relationship with - friends, parents, spouse....I was the biggest assumer (ya ya, call me a know it all hehehe)
Anyways...life is good - and sprint likes to look it like Thomas Edison...he was once interview on how he failed 1999 times to make the light bulb and succeed on the 2000 time...and he responded, I didn't fail 1999 times, I learned 1999 ways not to make a light bulb...well sprint says... we didn't fail for 2 years of our marriage...we had 5 ok years, 2 years of learning how NOT to make a marriage work, and now success
Take care everyone - I'm sorry I am not around much - but I just have almost closed this chapter of my life...but since this chapter will never be forgotten (like an old scar that reminds me) I can't ever forget MB and all it's done for me
xxoo
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Joined: Jul 2004
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Hi, Dorry.
I am glad to see that the two of you are well.
God bless,
Gimble
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect.
-An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
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Joined: May 2002
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Very glad to hear that things are going well with you and your husband!
Thanks for dropping in with the update. Especially those new to the fight against infidelity, the newbies and those struggling with early recovery, love to hear that "it IS possible."
God bless!
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Joined: Nov 2004
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{{{{{{Dorry}}}}}}}
Thank you for your update, your presence and sharing...you are greatly missed around here.
Sprint's perspective about learning all the ways not to have a marriage is like a benediction to me. Thank you very much for that...and for being who you are...
LA
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Joined: Apr 2005
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Dorry - so glad to hear your little difficulty was repaired! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Congrats on making it!!!!!!!!!
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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Joined: Jun 2002
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That's great to hear Dorry. You all keep checking in from time to time!!
Standing in His PresenceFBS (me) (48) FWW (41) Married April 1993... 4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B)) Blessed by God more than I deserve "If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
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Joined: Oct 2004
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Dear Dorry I am so so happy for you both!! Wonderful !! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Some of us learn the hard way but at least we learn <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Little Mikey is nearly 2, can you believe it? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> Many hugs to you AW
Life may feel as if you are constantly getting kicked on a daily basis, living is about picking yourself up each day and going on and on and on regardless.
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Hey dorry!
Good on you guys.
with prayers,
"Never forget that your pain means nothing to a WS." ~Mulan
"An ethical man knows it is wrong to cheat on his wife. A moral man will not actually do it." ~ Ducky
WS: They are who they are.
When an eel lunges out
And it bites off your snout
Thats a moray ~DS
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Jumping up and down, screaming... Dorry!!!!! Dorry!!!! Dorry!!! I'm sooo happy for you!! I have goosebumps right now!! You may not believe this, but just about half an hour ago, I was having a conversation with a fellow FWW when you popped into my head. When I logged on here and saw your post, I almost fell out of my chair! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> You are such a kind, compassionate soul. Many more blessings to you and Sprint. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
"I require more from my spouse than behaving well in order to avoid pain." (guess who)
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Joined: Jul 2004
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Dorry! I was worried cuz you never answered my last email about the *ahem* certain issue. Hooray for you and sprint!
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Hi Dorry,
Such good news. Congratulations.
God Bless,
JL
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Congratulations on Making it to the Other Side.
[color:"#39395A"]***Well, it's sort of hard to still wonder if you were consolation prize in the midst of being cherished.***
- Noodle[/color]
Devastation Day: Aug 26, 2004
[color:"#2964d8"]"I think we have come out on the other side... meaning that we love each other more than we ever did when we loved each other most." [/color]
[color:"#7b9af7"]
~Archibald MacLeish[/color]
Very Happily Married
Me FBS - 44
Him FWS - 51
I married him all over again, May 07
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Great to see stories that make it! good for you!
me BW- 29
WH- 29
2kids- 2&5
married 10 years
"Love is the gift of self. It means emptying oneslf to reach out to others. In a certain sense, it means forgettung oneself for the good of others."
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Dorry- congratulations!
Someday, I too hope to be able to post with such happiness and joy. Thanks for inspiring others, I know I need it.
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